


The Span Of A Second

by BeyondDeath (BeyondMadness)



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Billy Hargrove is a Mess, Drinking, Living Together, M/M, No one trusts Billy, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Slow Burn, Smoking, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Trauma, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 56,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23343340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeyondMadness/pseuds/BeyondDeath
Summary: The length of a second is often left underappreciated. In a time and age where everyone is having less and less time for everything, the second has become like a drop in the ocean. Those who appreciate the length of a second are those who do not have an abundance of them anymore.A second in which two people might decide that they don’t have the time to count down before twisting the dual key-set to destroy a Russian-built machine.Billy's miraculously survived the ordeal with the Mind Flayer but they're not out of danger yet, as they soon discover. In the meantime he has to deal with a more than excellent host Steve Harrington while trying to keep his massive attraction to him a secret.Steve meanwhile tries to deal with his own trauma and navigating between growing and changing relationships.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Billy Hargrove & Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, Robin Buckley & Billy Hargrove, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson
Comments: 7
Kudos: 80





	1. Second Chance

**Author's Note:**

> ****  
>  _Dedicated to my dearly beloved Andy. No written word will ever be good enough for you. Nothing I could write would hold a candle to what you make me feel and how you deepen the pools of my creativity. You are my muse and my reality-check, the answer to my writer’s block and the stop to my self-sabotaging.  
>  I love you.  
> I hope you can enjoy this half as much as I enjoy your company. Then I will be a successful writer._
> 
> Rating and warnings may change.

The length of a second is often left underappreciated. In a time and age where everyone is having less and less time for everything, the second has become like a drop in the ocean. Those who appreciate the length of a second are those who do not have an abundance of them anymore.  
When an action or reaction has to happen within an impossibly small timeframe, the individual seconds become endlessly more valuable. One more or less held the very power to change the entire direction of a story. It can hold the difference between winning and losing, between being too late and right on time, and between life and death.

A second in which two people might decide that they don’t have the time to count down before twisting the dual key-set to destroy a Russian-built machine.

Starcourt Mall was a warzone of apocalyptic proportions with a monstrous creature straight out of horror folklore. Only it was worse than anything found in the gory tales of the world for this was horrifyingly real, from another dimension and made up of the flesh of its victims.  
Hawkins had somehow remained completely ignorant to the true horrors that had unfolded. It was a blessing and a curse for now the world’s last line of defense, or at least for the town of Hawkins, were a bunch of kids. Some still in middle school, some barely across the threshold of adulthood, but collectively kids that had seen far too much for anything to ever feel normal again.

Of all the people the Mind Flayer could have chosen, it could be debated if the right choice had been one Billy Hargrove. An almost fully grown man who had the muscle power necessary to carry out the Mind Flayer’s awful tasks. One of those tasks he had received through his hijacked, shared mind was to guarantee the demise of the girl known as Eleven.  
It was a hell of a struggle, and she did not make it easy for him. And as he struggled with her for what would be the last time, things had taken a turn. She’d managed to reach the part inside him that was still him… but him from a different time. She’d mentioned his mother. She’d said she was pretty, really pretty.  
She really was…  
Clarity at last; his mind and senses no longer shrouded in a heavy dark cloud and he realised the full scale of the situation, the gravitation of the things at play.  
He knew what he had to do.  
Billy faced the Mind Flayer alone with all the strength he had left within him. He knew he was going to die. It’d be beyond stupid to believe he could take on this entire monster on his own. As long as it didn’t kill Eleven.  
And so he fought back against the tentacle with a mouth, or whatever it was, with all his might.  
When the second tentacle directed itself at him and launched forward he only felt the pain after he heard Max scream. It had attacked his right side but he held his ground despite a little wobble.  
A third one latched on to his left side. Pain flooded his system aggressively but he’d be damned if he gave up because of it. He had done so many horrible things, let this be the one good thing he’d do. He begged for this to be the one thing he could succeed at.  
A tentacle launched itself into his chest and he knew it was trying to pierce him through… but then all of a sudden it was over. The Mind Flayer collapsed on the floor and all sound stopped so abruptly it left their ears ringing from the deafening silence.

Billy stared at it in confused horror and shock, which was quickly replaced with relief but that also did not last long. With the Mind Flayer gone and the connection to him severed, his body had to deal with the trauma and damage done to it.  
Where there was blissful silence in his mind one second, the next there were a thousand banshees shrieking in his ears. His skull split into an all-consuming headache. As if someone had literally taken a hold of his brain and skull and just started pulling them apart.

And he screamed. He screamed a bone-chilling scream and fell to his knees. Vaguely he could Max cry out his name in panic and worry. At least they were safe; her and Eleven.  
The pain caused his vision to go white, as if he was standing directly in front of the sun. His muscles began trembling but at that point he was not conscious of anything anymore. Billy’s body slumped to the ground and began convulsing violently, his eyeballs rolling back in his head.

“Billy!!!” Max cried and she ran forward only to be caught by an arm around her middle. “No!! Let me go!” she trashed, tears running down her face unashamed.

“Max… Max! Listen to me! He might accidentally hurt you.” It was Steve. He’d rushed over as soon as his brain had wrapped around the idea that it really was over only to be roughly awakened from his haze by that scream.  
Everyone was on their way. He just happened to be faster.  
He looked around frantically until he spotted Robin running up to them.  
“Take care of her.” He simply barked and thrusted Max towards her.

“Yep.” Robin said, voice a higher pitch than usual, no doubt in shock by the events of the past hours. She pulled Max towards her, who immediately clung tightly to her.

Steve approached the convulsing body of Billy dutifully and made his way around to the head with a wide berth, just to avoid the trashing. Once near the head, he crouched down and took it in his hands before lifting it to rest on his lap and keeping it there firmly. A method to minimize the damage there. The entire party soon gathered around and looked upon the scene with distress.

“I’ll check if the emergency services are here yet.” Jonathan spoke, reflecting in his voice the helplessness everyone was feeling. Nancy encouraged him by a gentle squeeze to the shoulder before she made her way over to where Steve was sitting.

“How...do you even know what to do right now?” She huffed a laugh which was anything but humorous. They were all tired and, despite their survival, defeated. How were they supposed to feel with what was lying in front of them in all its fleshy, gory glory? How does anyone not lose their mind over this?  
But Steve smiled softly and she felt a little bit of encouraged energy return to her limbs because despite everything, despite his face looking like someone had gone to town on it, Steve Harrington was smiling a small, genuine, soothing smile.

“Had a friend a long while back who’d get seizures. Learned a thing or two.” He answered.

The convulsions changed into violent, jerking movements of the muscles in Billy’s abdomen. Steve managed to think quickly and tip Billy’s head to the side gently. He had only just done so before the man started vomiting… well no, more like exploding.  
Eyes wide and every muscle in his body feeling like it was ripped apart with the effort, black goo spewed from his mouth and onto the floor. His whole body convulsed with every new load and it seemed endless.  
The unnatural black colour his veins had taken on slowly dissipated until he was just Billy again.  
With his own natural colours the true damage done became a little more apparent; where the monster had viciously attacked him there were huge gaping holes left and he was losing blood rapidly.  
Once his body had gotten every last bit of what the Mind Flayer had put into him out, he flopped back onto his back weakly, eyes open and hazy.  
There was a figure above him. Somewhere in his brain he managed to piece together his head was elevated and the figure above him was most likely serving as the pillow.

Billy blinked a few times, willing his eyes to focus one last time. Someone was helping him after everything he’d done, perhaps he could manage to get a thank you out before the light would beckon him because yes...he felt the pull of Death as clear as he’d felt the pain.  
It made him blissfully numb to the pain in his body, made him feel light and dizzy.

His eyes did focus, and thank you is not what he managed to say.

“...H..Harr...ing..ton?” his voice was gravel and barely more than a whisper. Steve’s face looked down at him, features unreadable but not with the hostility he always imagined it would hold.

“I….’m….so...sor…” His eyes started to close, they felt too heavy to keep open and his throat too constricted to talk.

“Hey, sshh, spare your energy. Help is coming. You’ll be fine.” Steve said, the perfect picture of bedside manners and also unaware of what Billy was trying to say as it was barely coherent.  
But Billy shook his head because he knew it wasn’t going to be fine. He sucked in a deep breath, closed his eyes and willed the last of his energy towards his vocal cords and mouth.

“I’m...sorry……..Steve.”

And he went slack, utterly and completely in that way that installs fear in the hearts of loved ones.  
Nancy saw… and she clasped a hand over her mouth in shock.  
This in turn was enough sign for Mike of what had happened and he turned away, no longer willing to watch. And this was enough for El to realise what was happening. Her eyes grew in disbelief and she shouted “No!”  
And then the chain reaction was fully set in motion and everyone had to work together to keep Max back.

Steve sat shell-shocked, eyes wide, with Billy’s head still in his lap. It took him several moments to wrap his head around what had happened.  
One; Billy had used his last breath to apologise to him. _Billy Hargrove did._  
Two; said man was no longer breathing. He’d just died essentially in Steve’s arms.

“Oh hell no.” Steve said a little too loud for it to be just to himself. He sprung to action and laid Billy down flat before moving himself to Billy’s side. Before anyone could even ask he started chest compressions. “No way, you asshole! I’m not letting you off that easy. Get your ass back here!”  
Steve was shouting now and all eyes turned to him. His face was contorted in anger. Anger at whatever power was at play here and anger at Billy for leaving them all like this. Leaving Max this heartbroken.  
He didn’t care who was watching or what they would think, he wasn’t thinking much at all...just doing. He bent down to breathe his air into Billy Hargrove before continuing his heart massage.

Two hands had clasped themselves over Nancy’s mouth and she was shaking her head in disbelief. She hadn’t actually ever seen someone die and she didn’t count the flayed Tom and Bruce. There was something so raw and emotional about it, even though she had little good to say about Billy Hargrove. At least before this all.

Robin held Max tightly to her but both of them were looking with desperate hope towards Steve and the lifeless Billy.  
El was clinging to Max’s arms where they were wrapped behind Robin’s back with the same desperation.

Five minutes went by like 10 seconds and Steve was still giving CPR. Sweat beaded his forehead, his eyes stung and his limbs were exhausted but he’d be damned if he was going to stop.  
The scene had gone from being hopeful to hard to watch.

“Steve…” Nancy tried, reaching out a hand to him helplessly, her voice cracking with emotion. “He’s…..he’s gone.”

“NO!” Steve shouted in determination but in frustration he slammed his fist down on Billy’s chest before continuing his CPR.

Paramedics flooded the place and started escorting everyone out while they hurried over to Billy. Max’ screams of protest could be heard all the way until they were outside. After they had been briefly informed of how long this had been going on they proceeded to try and get Steve out of the way, but try as they may, they could not tear him away.

“Kid...it’s over. You did good.” One of the paramedics said in a soothing manner but Steve did not respond, just breathed more air into Billy. 

Once more, in frustration, he hit his fist on Billy’s chest.

And Billy breathed in.

Steve’s chest surged with an indescribable feeling. He didn’t even care when he was shoved out of the way by the shocked and surprised paramedics.  
Steve shuffled backwards on his ass until he was no longer in the way and hugged his legs to his chest, lips and surrounding area tainted with whatever that black stuff was that had come out of Billy. Perhaps he should be more worried about that but all he could do at that moment was grip his hair and will himself to calm down. This was absolutely insane and his mind could not get a grip on it all.

These were no normal paramedics either, he observed quickly, they were from the lab. They had all the governmental equipment. They literally lasered Billy’s wounds shut to stop the bleeding and checked for any internal damage before intubating him and hooking him up to all kinds of machines and a blood transfusion, because somehow they could test blood types on the spot. Of course they fucking could.  
Soon Billy was loaded onto a brancard and rushed out.

Steve ran after them until they got outside and someone grabbed his arm.

“Come here, son. Let us have a look at you.” An unfamiliar voice said; another paramedic.

And just then every single noise, sound, smell and light flooded his system and made him wobble dizzily on his legs. His other arm was promptly grabbed as well to steady him and he took the opportunity to look around.  
There must have been a dozen ambulances. Everyone was being looked at individually. So many lights and noises, and it was raining on top of everything. His bloodied clothes were rapidly getting soaked and he barely even felt it.

Before he knew it, he was sitting on the edge of an ambulance and two paramedics were looking him over, cleaning his face and other injuries and asking him all kinds of questions he could only numbly answer to, completely on automatic pilot.  
His face was cleaned up, all evidence of what he had done removed. Apparently his ribs hadn’t been broken during his torture, which they called him lucky for. He’d merely scoffed at their light and optimistic attitude. Everything inside him hurt. Every aching fibre of his being was a constant reminder of what had happened in the past hours and he knew it would remain that way for days to come.  
They gave him a blanket and patched him up but it did nothing to change that feeling inside.

Seeing someone die in front of you is traumatising enough as it is. There is nothing that compares to the horror of seeing someone breathe their last breath and see the life leave their body until nothing but an empty husk left. But to then engage in CPR… you are taking it upon yourself to fight the forces of nature. It’s like the most important life test you’re ever going to get. If you fail you will have to live with that feeling...and try your hardest not to blame yourself whenever you are faced with the family of whoever you were trying to save.  
It’s soul-quaking and life changing.  
But to actually bring someone back, restore life to them… that was not a feeling he could ever describe.

That on its own was enough to have someone need to sit down for a while. Add to that being stuck in a secret Russian base, tortured and fighting a gigantic fleshy monster from beyond their world. Yeah… Steve felt, to put it simply, like he was breaking at the seams.

He hadn’t realised he was staring at the ground until two feet appeared in his vision. He looked up to come face-to-face with a red-eyed, dishevelled Max.  
He’d never seen her like that. This was Max; tough as a brick Max; will beat you up if you don’t watch your attitude Max.  
“You...did it..” She said, softly still hardly believing it. “You saved him.”

“Don't celebrate yet… as far as we know he should’ve died instantly when the gate closed. What happens next is anyone’s guess.” Steve said, heart clenching when he saw her face fall further and fresh tears well up.

“I know..” she whispered. “They told me.”

Steve looked around.  
Mrs. Byers had arrived and had her children wrapped in her arms tightly. The Wheelers and the Sinclairs were also reunited and engaged in some tender moments.  
He saw Mrs. Byers make eye contact with El…watched El break down in front of his eyes.  
Hopper hadn’t returned.

Everything was a mess...a giant fucking mess and he, Max and Robin were the only ones alone.  
Just then, Robin approached both of them. She was shaking profoundly, wrapped up in her blanket.

“We are going to the hospital.” Steve stated just like that.

“Huh?” Robin questioned in confusion. “I’ve been cleared...I don’t need to-”

“We’re bringing Max to the hospital and we’re sticking around until their parents are informed.” Steve was already standing up and speaking to the paramedic, asking for a ride since…he didn’t have one available, keys still lost in the underground base.

“Steve...you really don’t have to.” Max said, but her eyes were filled with hope and gratefulness.

About 10 minutes later they arrived in a different hospital than the one they were familiar with.  
A man at the door was waiting for them and introduced himself as Sam Owens. He informed them that they were still operating on Billy and there wasn’t much that could be said at the moment. He also told them that he’d be informing the parents given the state secrecy issue and that the story they were going to go with was that there’d been an explosion at Starcourt result of a gas leak. Billy had been amongst those present in the mall at the time of the explosion and had been unfortunate in how close he’d been to the epicentre.

“This is fucked up…” Robin whispered under her breath and Steve nodded absentmindedly.

“And that thing...that was in him. Is it gone? Like...gone gone?” Max asked a little fearful.  
Dr. Owens stopped in his tracks and fixed a gentle gaze upon Max as if he understood everything that had happened to them. But how on Earth could he?

“As far as we can tell and compare to the case of Will: it’s no longer inside him.”

And that is the current situation they are in, or the short version of it.  
Everything after that conversation goes by in a rush.  
Max’s parents are contacted. Max’s mother shows up rather quickly and hugs her daughter tightly to her. Max asks where Neil is. Her mother sends her a look and that apparently says enough.  
They all wait for any news. Steve and Robin sit together on one side of the waiting room. Steve is taking his time to explain everything that had happened starting with the disappearance of Will Byers. He answers all her questions to the best of his abilities. They talk about what happened that day. Robin thinks she’ll never sleep again and Steve knows exactly how that feels.  
Nearly two hours go by and Robin has to call her parents in between to let them know something happened and she’s fine but she’ll be late. Sam Owens keeps watch over everything she says.  
Her parents offer to come pick her up and she eagerly accepts. For the first time since she was a little girl, she really… really needs her parents.

“We can drop you off home, you know?” she says to Steve, shrugging. “It’s no big deal.”

Steve waves a dismissive hand.

“I’ll stick around for a little longer. In case the doctors have any questions.”

Robin nods in understanding, but she is mostly confused. Why on Earth would he stay in the hospital to help out with the guy that beat him to a pulp at the first convenient opportunity. She doesn’t think she’ll ever fully understand Steve Harrington.

Steve stands up and they hug, tight, relishing in each other's support. When they pull back they look each other in the eyes and no words are necessary.  
Robin leaves after wishing Max and her mother well.

The clock marks 4 hours since they arrived when Dr. Owens approaches them.

“They’ve done all they could. He’s stable, but his life is still hanging in the balance.” he informs solemnly. “He might not regain consciousness again.”

He takes Max and her mother to where they keep Billy.  
They return 20 minutes later.

“Mom, I’m staying.” Max argues as she stomps after her mother.

“You know we can’t do that, Max. He was very clear on the matter.” Her mother says before her eyes land on Steve who is watching them with curious eyes, but he doesn’t press on so she smiles at him gently. “Steve… is it?”

Steve hastily nods and stands up once more as she strides over to him, holding out her hand to him. He takes her hand gently and her other hand immediately comes up to cup his hand as well.

“I cannot thank you enough for what you’ve done. For not giving up. You are a very special man, Steve.” She says, her eyes full of motherly emotion but something is off about it… something is not quite right. Once again, Steve doesn’t press. “Let me give you a ride home. It’s the least I could do!”

Steve looks towards Max, who has a face like a sour grape, before smiling his politest smile at her mother.

“That’s very kind of you but I’ve got a ride. Don’t worry about me. And honestly, it was what anyone would have done.” He lies and it honestly sounds like rehearsed politeness and not at all like him, but she buys it. Adults always do.  
She nods at him, squeezes his hands and takes her departure.

Steve is about to say goodbye to Max when she is suddenly attached to his waist in the tightest hug he’s had in a long time.

“Thank you...for not giving up.” she whispers before pulling back. For a second she looks awkward but then she punches him on the arm and grins. One that doesn’t reach her eyes. “You’re pretty cool.”

Steve smiles, and he knows it doesn’t reach his eyes either.

“Thanks, Max.” he says back and pats her on the head before she rushes after her mother’s calling from somewhere down the hall.

Steve is alone. Hospital staff are busy around him but the waiting room is empty. It’s nearing midnight.  
Truth is there is no ride coming for him but the amount of people present in the building and the bright lights, they somehow make him feel slightly safer for he knows that if he returns home it will be dark...there will be no one. He’s all alone at the moment.  
He won’t get any sleep and he’ll be clutching the bat he never returned to Nancy like a lifewire.  
He’s all alone.  
But so is Billy.

His feet drag him to where he overheard Billy’s room to be and he stops in front of the door. There’s a small round window in the door and through it he can see a part of the figure on the bed, hooked up to an entire arcade of machines. Slowly, he opens the door, as if it’s going to wake Billy, and walks inside.  
Billy looks like absolute shit. He looks nothing like himself.  
He’s pale, his hair is a mess and he has cuts and bruises everywhere. His face may appear calm at first sight but Steve spots the faint lines of muscles contorted in pain soon enough.

Steve pulls up a chair against the wall directly to Billy’s side and sits down with a sigh. For the longest time he just sits there, listening to the beeping and wiring of the machines.

“What a day, huh?” he suddenly begins, because he heard people in comas can still hear conversations. But christ, he doesn’t even know if Billy is in a coma to begin with… he supposes so. What is he even supposed to say? “Never expected you to become involved in all of this. You’re such a moron for not saying anything to anyone.”

He pauses.

“I don’t think I would’ve done if I were you… I’d think I was going crazy.”

Steve stares off into the distance for a while before he snapped his attention back to Billy.

“And what the hell was that apology all about?! Who does that with their dying breath?? And to me? Max was right there! If anyone needed your final breath it would’ve been her.” He huffs in annoyance, anger boiling inside him. “It’s not fair. You’re such a douche. A-and speaking of you being a douche...let me tell you this..!”

And that is how he begins spewing every thing he’s ever wanted to say to Billy fucking Hargrove, from the moment he arrived at Hawkins High, until a long time after his infamous beating on the Byers’ kitchen floor. Every thought he’s had, every bad word he’s ever called the guy… it all comes tumbling out in a tirade. Anger fills his system. Rage shakes his clenched fists and he continues taking it all out verbally on the guy who can’t respond back, who for once cannot stare him down with that insufferable grin. It’s positively therapeutic.  
He finally has the opportunity to throw it all out and he wants to punch Billy...god he wants to punch him so bad. But he’s pretty sure there is a moral code against punching someone in a coma.

It isn’t fair. None of it is. He spends most of the night just ranting to the unconscious form on the bed until he eventually falls asleep on the chair, having thrown everything out of his system. He doesn’t want it to happen but at some point it is beyond his control.

When he wakes up it's because he hears a noise...something human-like. Steve launches forward in the chair and looks around frantically, ready to put up a fight if need be.  
There’s no one.

Then there is a very slight stirring on the bed. Steve’s eyes widen a little as he witnesses Billy, against all odds and in a miraculously short time-span since his fall, opening his eyes.  
He looks disoriented and unfocused but he’s definitely conscious.  
Steve says nothing, afraid that the slightest noise might cause a bad reaction.

Minutes tick by until Billy begins to look a little more focused. He looks around to determine where he is, before his head rolls to the side and his eyes fix on Steve and they both stare at each other.

“Har…” Billy’s voice is the thickest gravel and he clears his throat to will it back into function. When he continues it is slightly more audible. “Harrington.”

“Hargrove.” Steve responds almost automatically.

“You look... like shit.”

“Have you seen yourself?”

“Nice outfit” 

Steve looks down. He’s still wearing his bloodied Scoops uniform. He fucking looks like a little sailor boy in the middle of a hospital.

“Shut up.” he simply says and he thinks Billy’s body is trying to smile but it’s not quite working out.

“Thought I...died.” Billy says after a while.

“You did.” Steve says, staring at a spot on the wall. He can feel Billy’s eyes on him, waiting for an explanation. Steve shrugs. “You were brought back.”

“Hm..” Billy hums and Steve doesn’t know why he doesn’t tell him it was him who brought him back from the brink of death, but he doesn’t. Just then a doctor comes in Steve realises that the sun is pouring in from the window. He jumps up.

“I should go… I eh… promised Max to let her know when you wake up.” Steve says while slowly moving to the door but the doctor performs some tests and Billy is pre-occupied so he just slips out.

It’s a long walk home but he gets there eventually. There are a bunch of missed messages on his landline.

A couple from Dustin, who’s language becomes more colourful with every next message and who’s asking where the hell he is because there is a club meeting happening.  
The rest of the messages are from Nancy. Some asking how he’s doing and she hopes he gets her messages soon. Some informing him of the time and location of the meeting they are having.  
They started 10 minutes ago… shit.

Steve rushes upstairs and showers as quick as he can and throws on a clean pair of jeans and a navy shirt with light grey stripes. He takes some time to do his hair because there is no way in hell he's going out otherwise. He snatches his jacket and sunglasses when he’s done and enters the garage where he stops for a second to look down at his bicycle.  
It’s been a long while since he used it. A really...long time.

It takes him a lot longer than normal, obviously, to get to the Byers’ house and when he puts his bike down, Dustin throws open the front door and gives him a “what the hell” gesture.

Steve removes his shades like he doesn’t have a care in the world, because that’s the appearance he keeps up for the kids.

“Overslept.” He says and that is about the biggest lie he’s told in 24-hours. Who the hell could sleep properly at all after everything that happened. Even at the hospital he may have gotten about two or three hours at most.

He enters the house, ignoring Dustin’s vigorous head shaking because that boy has no business being disappointed in him.

His eyes land on Max first and he takes a deep breath.

“He woke up this morning.” he says and her face lights up in a mixture of surprise, relief and happiness.

“Are you shitting me? You better not be shitting me!” She says warningly but the threat is completely lost because she grins the very next second. However, after a moment of thought, her expression becomes one of confusion. “Wait...did you stay there all night?!”

Suddenly all eyes are fixed on Steve and he becomes instantly nervous under the scrutiny. In response he just scoffs and prepares for another lie.

“Of course not! I thought I’d do my part and call in this morning to get an update.” he points out and his lie is successful. Everyone looks a little awkward themselves now because they did not even consider it.

“Eh Steve...drink?” Nancy suddenly asks and jumps up before beckoning him to follow her to the kitchen. Truth be told he is parched but he figures this isn’t actually about that. Once they are safely inside the kitchen she gives him one of those penetrating, soul-reading stares.

“You haven’t answered any calls. Where have you been?” She hisses. However, she can’t maintain her annoyance for long and her features soften slightly. “How are you holding up?”

Steve shrugs and looks at the water tap.  
“You know me, Nance… I power through. Sorry ‘bout the calls. I was just…”

“It’s fine… it’s fine. You’re here now, that’s what matters.”

“How are you….doing? And Jonathan?” he asks, mostly because it’s the polite thing to do, but also because he does actually care. She smiles at him. It’s small but it’s there.

“Didn’t get any sleep...but we’re ok.” She says before grabbing him a glass and filling it with water.  
He takes it and immediately downs the whole glass. She rolls her eyes but refills it with a chuckle and then they are headed back to the living room.

“I’m telling you, they should’ve blown up those Russians when they had the chance!” Dustin cries out, hands thrown in the air.  
Max is shaking her head, her arm swung around El and rubbing her arm in a comforting way.

“Some of the Russians escaped... They took Hopper as a hostage.” Nancy whispers to Steve to catch him up to speed.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Erica scoffs. “You’ve seen the stuff they keep down there. For all we know it could’ve blown Hawkins sky-high.”

“Hate to say it, but she’s right, Dustin.” Lucas shrugs and a few of the kids gape at him as if he’s grown a second head.

Dustin sits down with a grumpy face, clearly not agreeing but not saying more on the matter.

“Ok, so now that everyone is here. What are we going to do?” Mike begins, looking expectantly around the room.

“Eeh… what do you mean, what are we going to do?” Robin asks, and holy shit Steve hadn’t even seen her sitting in a corner somewhere. “We’re going to _try_ and get on with our lives. Some of us need to find new jobs.”

Mike stares at her incredulously.

“In case you missed it, someone’s missing.” He says patronisingly and it takes all of Robin’s willpower to not lash out verbally.

“Yeah but Mike, come on.” Jonathan begins, leaning forward on his knees from his position on the couch. “You know we can’t do anything about that.”

“Why not? We’ve taken on interdimensional monsters!” Mike argues and Steve can’t help but think he really sounds like the kid he actually is.

“That’s very different, Mike.” Nancy says, shaking her head.

“No it’s not.” Mike and Dustin say in unison.

“It is! There are no regulations, no plans or protocols on dealing with things from a different dimension. You beat them, the threat stops and there are no repercussions.” Jonathan begins explaining. “This however...this is going against a nation. And not just any nation! Russia, Mike! That's an act of war!”

“This isn’t a movie. And you can’t rely on the powers of your girlfriend, even if she does get them back, because that will definitely make them think America is sending a weapon after them.” Robin adds helpfully.

Mike scoffs and folds his arms in defeat.

“Mike…” It’s the first time Eleven manages to speak. “..it’s ok. I miss him. But...Hop will be fine. I’m sure.”

“And mom said until then, she can stay with us. She’ll have a home.” Will says and smiles at El.

“Fine. Next order of business is… we need a new headquarters.” Mike speaks, clearly not happy with the way things are going.

“What’s wrong with your basement?” Lucas asks with a scowl. “It’s worked before.”

“Our parents are getting suspicious and are starting to pay more attention. Plus, if they are watching houses, ours will be first on the list.” Nancy explains, ever the voice of reason.

“Son of a bitch..”

“Dustin, language.” Steve comments automatically, not even thinking before speaking.

“Our parents are too strict.” Erica says and Lucas nods in agreement.

“Our house could be an option but mom won’t like it if we dwell on this too much.” Will says softly.

“You can use my house.”

All eyes turn to Steve who shrugs nonchalantly. Their questioning gazes don’t cease however and he feels he won’t get out of explaining.

“Well I mean... I am involved, but they don’t realise how involved I am. As far as they’re concerned, I'm an accidental bystander. Plus...my parents are on a business exchange thing for at least three months.” He says and their faces light up.

“That’s perfect! No one would suspect that!” Mike exclaims in excitement.

“Plus, doesn’t he have, like, a pool?” Max chimes in suggestively which earns her a lot of excited noises from the children, and an eye roll from Steve.

“Are you sure about this, Dingus?” Robin asks sceptically. She doesn’t see the appeal in having a house full of kids.

“Yeah.” Steve shrugs again. “Just come through the backdoor, I’ll leave it unlocked.”

The meeting settles down rather quickly after that. They discuss the events of what happened casually but given that they are not in their new designated safe space, they don’t go into detail. Eventually Mrs. Byers comes home at some point and about 20 minutes later she comes by with warm snacks and everyone settles into casual conversations. It’s as if nothing even happened.  
At some point El asks Max if she can show her the bedroom she’ll be staying in and they disappear.

About five minutes later Steve rises to his feet and announces he will be leaving on account he needs to obtain the spare key to his Beamer from his house so he can save it from the parking lot and that he’ll ask Max if she needs a ride to the hospital. Will points him to El’s room and he goes up to the door.  
He’s just about to knock when he hears something that catches his attention.

“..so I was never told what happened to Billy’s mom. I assumed the worst...would explain his douchey behaviour, I thought. Until I found out about what his dad was doing.” It’s Max’ voice. Steve stops and presses his ear to the door to better hear the conversation.

“His...dad?”

“Yeah...Neil is… ehm.” Her voice sounds sad, tormented almost.

“Mouth breather?” Steve has no idea what that means but Max chuckles hollowly.

“Yeah. Billy always gave me a hard time. He flipped out at me when I was late and I didn’t understand what the big deal was. Until I walked in on his dad…beating him… for bringing me home late.” He hears Max sigh. “Then I started thinking maybe his mom just left.”

There is a soft mumbling that Steve can’t make out and he tries to focus harder...and fails to notice the door swinging open. He almost hits the floor as he stumbles forward and is faced with two very unamused girls.

“You know, it’s rude to eavesdrop.” Max points out, still holding the doorknob in hand, in that sassy tone of hers and El nods fervently.

“I was just…” Steve gapes, finding himself stumbling over his words suddenly. “Yeah…well…I-I...just came here to ask if you needed a ride.”

Max makes a very sassy “mhm” and raises an eyebrow at him. Steve straightens himself, looks around and slowly closes the door a little before looking back towards the two girls.

“How often does that happen?” He asks bluntly. Max’ attitude immediately changes and she casts her eyes to the floor.

“Few times a month, I think. Sometimes more, sometimes less. After first catching them I started to notice when his mood was more foul...and the bruises. It depends on a lot of things. Namely if Neil’s been drinking and if Billy completes his task when he’s supposed to.” She confesses. A silence stretches between the three of them before her eyes snap up to Steve with a fire not completely unlike her brother’s. “If you tell anyone about this, Steve!! I am not supposed to say anything!”

“Hey, it’s not my secret to share.” Steve holds his hands up in defense. “Why are you two even talking about this shit?”

The girls look at each other uncertainly. Well...they’ve told him this much.

“I...saw his mom.” El begins. “When I reached into his mind. I saw him, younger, and his mom. He was...happy.”

“That’s how she reached him in that final moment and how he managed to fight back and save us.” Max adds and El once again nods along.

Steve rubs a hand over his face and leans against the wall, whispering “Jesus Christ”. His mind races a million miles an hour with the information it just gathered. Billy Hargrove was a victim of abuse. Who would’ve thought? And while he is still a first class douchebag, this does add a new dimension to it. Steve is not about to forgive him for anything just yet, but perhaps he can give him a chance to explain.

“You...need a ride to the hospital?” He asks Max with a surprisingly steady voice. Max stares at him for a while in silence, before finally nodding.  
She hugs Eleven goodbye and they leave.

Three weeks after the accident Billy is able to go home. Given that his wounds were lasered shut and he didn’t need to be hooked to any machines with any of his basic life functions, there was no reason for them to keep him there.  
Billy's known that day would come, and he’s been dreading it.

Max had brought him clean clothes to wear. The forms were signed and his prescribed medicines lay in a paper bag next to him on the bed.  
Billy sits on the edge, fully dressed, staring down at his shoes. The door opens and he recognises Max’ footsteps immediately.

“Ready to go?” She asks in that typical _like I care_ she always uses with him. It’s a defense mechanism to his usual rude and snappy behaviour towards her, but he simply lacks the fire right now. He doesn’t feel anything like himself, more like he’s lost. Like they took his heart, soul and brain out of his body… sent it through the woodchopper and stuffed it back in his body.

“Yeah..” he says barely more than a whisper and slowly rises to his feet. She grabs the paper bag and waits surprisingly patiently. He still feels unsure on his legs, body weakened to where he has to stumble forwards, clutching his ribs with one hand to support them.

They walk out into the hallway and the further they get, the more dread Billy feels. He doesn’t want to go home. Has no idea what he’s going to need to expect. He’s been gone for a while without any explanation. His car is wrecked and lost. But more worrying than anything is the fading bruise on Max’s forehead, which is a death sentence as far as he’s concerned.  
There is going to be some retribution, that is for sure and with Billy’s still healing body, he is not sure how much he can handle.  
He knows they’re outside and for once hopes it is both his dad ánd Susan. Perhaps Susan can talk at least a little bit of sense into him.  
He breathes in shakily and Max looks at him with pitiful eyes. God, he hates it when she pities him.

Daylight shines brightly through the doors ahead and Max speeds up. She gets ahead of Billy and disappears out of the door into the outside world.  
Shitbird’s not even holding the door for him. Can’t she see he’s struggling?  
Billy huffs an annoyed breath but pushes through and pushes open the door.  
The door falls closed behind him and he is left staring, jaw slack.

Max stands by the car, already placing the paper bag on the backseat of the BMW Beamer. A fucking BMW Beamer that he knows far too well.  
Low and behold, there is the owner perched on the hood, leveling him with an unreadable stare, arms folded across his chest.  
Billy looks around bewildered but there is no sign of his dad.

“He’s not coming, Billy.” Max says and he fixes his attention on her, silently demanding an explanation. She opens her mouth to speak but Steve Harrington cuts her off.

“I’m picking you up.” He says matter-of-factly. “Can’t be a big surprise to you your dad isn’t here.”

“What do you mean by that, Harrington.” Billy spits back but it lacks his usual fire. Nevertheless they stare each other down from afar. Steve’s face is bashed up but healing. Altogether he looks better than Billy does for the fact alone that he’s taken care of the rest of his appearance whereas Billy hasn’t done anything to his hair in those two weeks and he can’t even bring himself to feel ashamed about it.

“Get in the car.” Steve sounds so incredibly calm, not even acknowledging what he said before. Billy should get mad, should be gritting his teeth and turning dangerous but instead he finds himself slumping in defeat and making his way to the car. Steve watches him until he’s seated in the passenger’s seat and it feels humiliating.  
Max climbs in the backseat and Steve slides in, wasting no time to start up the car.

They ride in complete silence safe for the soft sounds of the radio. Billy’s got his eyes fixed on the window on his side and his jaw clenched; Max switches her attention between the windows and Steve’s eyes are focused on the road alone.

Eventually, they pull up to a house and Billy leans forward with a frown.

“Where the fuck are we?” he mutters trying to find any point of recognition.

“Come on.” Steve simply says and it sounds almost nice, not a demand but a suggestion. Max follows him out the car with Billy's bag of medicines.

Even though he wants to rebel, Billy finds himself curious to where Steve fucking Harrington of all people would take him. Maybe he’s going to get his revenge for the shit Billy has pulled on him. At this point Billy couldn’t care less.  
He takes his time carefully removing himself from the car and holds back on slamming the door before joining the other two by the front door of the house.  
Steve unlocks the door and they walk in.

Billy takes in the interior. It’s warm and it’s huge. There are wooden stairs that lead to a hallway upstairs and there are family pictures on the wall. Rich people’s home, he observes.  
He glances over the family pictures when one catches his eyes. He recognises the little boy immediately as being Steve himself.  
Steve’s home…. He is in Steve’s home.

“Why are we here?” He demands, voice holding a slight tremor. He feels like a caged animal, unsure of why he’s being captured and what they want from him.  
He backs up to the door, muscles tensed to the extreme and eyes frantic.

“Billy… chill, it’s ok.” Max says but honestly it’s not helping at all.

“Why are we here?!” He barks even more frantically, a strain in his voice betraying the physical pain such an outburst causes him.

“You’ll be staying here for a while.” Steve says calmly. He’s leaning against the wall a little further into the room and his whole demeanor is calm and collected. “Your dad doesn’t know where you are. He can’t find you here. You don’t have to go back there, at least not until you’re fully healed.”

Billy sizes him up, eyes searching for that sign to confirm what his subconscious already knows. Steve meets his gaze dead on and they hold it for a while… until there is a glimmer in Steve’s eyes. Just a brief second but it’s all Billy needs.  
His face flushes in anger and he fixes a menacing stare on Max, who is keeping a safe distance.

“WHAT GIVES YOU THE FUCKING RIGHT, MAX?!” He yells at her and she doesn’t back away from his heated glare or at the sight of his trembling muscles. He has one hand wrapped around the left side of his ribcage, lines of pain edging on his face.

“Billy, it’s not like that, I swear.” Max starts. “He overheard!”

“Overheard?! Who else did you fucking tell?!” Billy’s voice rises in pitch while panic, anger and helplessness wrap around his heart and mind and squeeze every last bit of him out.  
Max looks towards Steve, but he knows this is not the point where he should step in; it’s not his fight.

“...Eleven and I...we were talking. She...she asked about your mother...and about you.” Max confesses uneasily.  
Billy’s eyes flash with something like recognition and he’s forced to relive some memories of that time. When his mind wasn’t his own…  
It takes his anger down a couple of notches, but it’s far from gone.  
He turns his attention to Steve, stalking towards him as fast as he can manage but it looks more like limping. He ignores Max’ warning in the form of his name and stares down the boy that has had far too big an influence on his life already.

“That true, Harrington? What.. you often listen in to underaged girls’ private conversations?” He snarls, teeth bared. Normally, he’d have one of those wicked smiles on his face but he can’t manage them somehow. He’s just grasping at anything he can, looking every bit the wounded animal he is. Steve stares him down with an almost bored expression, arms folded casually. He’s letting the comment slide, Billy can tell.

“Take a deep breath, man. I get it… your secret’s out. Enough time to whine about it later. Just for a second accept that I know and look at where you are. You don’t have to go and face that shit right now. You can’t seriously tell me you’d rather go back to that shithole with that asshole!” Steve lays the facts out plain and clear and Max holds her breath. This can go either way..

Billy contemplates what Steve tells him. If he stops to think about it then yeah, sure it is a weight lifted off his shoulders to not have to go back. The fact that Steve calls his father an asshole also installs a bit of calmth back into Billy, because perhaps he really is an asshole in that case. Perhaps it isn’t all Billy’s fault after all.  
Some of the tension seeps from his shoulders and the heat leaves his glare, but the glare itself holds.  
The bitter irony of Steve using the phrase “your secret’s out” is the only thing that brings him an ounce of actual calmth. His secret is far from out.

“Great. Good. Fantastic. You saved me, you’re a goddamn hero, Harrington.” He spits and then points to Max. “But what about her, huh? Did you think that through?”

“What about me?” Max demands with a glare of her own, her cheeks heating up. “I’m not a little kid anymore!”

“That has fuck all to do with it!” Billy barks at her. “First it was my mom...then it was me. What do you think will happen when I don’t return, huh Max? Who do you fucking think his anger is going to be directed at?? THINK MAX!”

“I’m not gonna let that happen! I can handle him, Billy.” She argues back with great defiance.

“Yeah.. let’s see how you do then, shall we Shitbird?!” Billy laughs humorlessly and then he’s stalking towards her, charging, fist clenching threateningly. He stops right after the motion, posture crumbling a bit as he tries to stifle a pained groan behind gritted teeth, to little avail. The flare of pain ceases and he continues towards her...

Or he would be if there wasn’t a hand gripping his arm tightly.

“Sit down.” Steve commands calmly. Once again their gazes meet and they stare each other down, before Billy finally relents and goes to sit on the couch. He places his head in his hands and only then notices he is trembling. Of all people it just has to be Steve Harrington that knows something about him he’d always kept so deeply hidden. It is no-one’s damn business. It’s a sign of weakness, Billy tells himself, to admit it might be a problem. He’s always told himself that if he’d just take it and never talk about it, he could convince himself it is normal.  
A glass of water appears in front of his face and he accepts it. The tremors are so bad that some of the water spills down the sides and onto the floor below. He stares down at the drops, willing the whirlwind in his head to quiet down.

Once he manages a few sips, Steve speaks again.

“Look...I get the risk. I’ve thought about it a lot. I got one of those damn walkie-talkies here now and Max can reach me whenever. The slightest sign of danger and we’ll be there pulling her out with the back-up of the Hawkins Police.” He explains. Billy opens his mouth but Steve cuts him off immediately. “No, they don’t know what’s been going on and I’m not gonna tell them.”

A silence follows that stretches over several minutes as all parties retreat into their mind. Eventually Billy snaps out of his distant stare and nods slowly.

“Fine. Have it your way then.” It's the closest he’ll get to agreeing right now but it seems good enough for Steve and Max.

Steve shows him to his room. A guest room on the ground floor with an ensuite. It’s a decent size with a twin bed. On the bed sits a box and when he peeks inside he finds a whole bunch of his belongings there. His heart surges, but he hides it well. It’s like a warm coffee after a winter’s day to see his own stuff and to be able to finally bring some familiarity back to himself.  
On top of everything all his usual products are stationed in the ensuite. He feels himself relax a little.  
Steve leaves him alone after that to figure things out and Billy can tell he’s doing his best to stay within Billy’s realm of comfort. Damn guy is actually putting effort into making him comfortable like the good host he is.  
Billy lowers his head and slumps his shoulders. His act melting away within the safety of closed walls and a closed door. He feels broken and unsure and confused, like he should know how to act but it just doesn’t come natural to him.  
He may have been brought back but he knows a part of him did die. He just doesn’t know which part.

Billy barely sleeps the first night. Steve had brought him a microwave meal at some point during the evening. He had eaten half of it but just couldn’t finish it no matter how hard he tried.  
Every time he closes his eyes during the night he is haunted with memories. His own and something else’s all at the same time.

He stays in Steve’s guestroom for as long as he can physically hold out the next morning, before he decides he has to come out at some point. He can’t very well isolate himself in Steve’s house.

Billy ventures out into the house, clad in sweatpants and a tank top. He’s attempted to fix his hair a little bit but it was far from its former glory. The longer he looked in the mirror, the louder his dad’s voice in his head became. In the end he had slammed a fist on the counter, effectively hurting his hand but at least it was something else to focus on.

He looks into the living room and finds it empty. Billy’s just about to round the corner to the kitchen when he hears the slide doors open and close.

“Robin!” Steve exclaims and he sounds so delighted to see this...Robin. There is the sound of clothes rubbing together and Billy assumes they are sharing a hug. “Where the hell did you get all this?”

“I know a guy who worked at the cinema. They are clearing out all their stuff now and he managed to get me a load of them!” A girl’s voice, one that is not familiar to him. “Thought it might help your little refugee program.”

Steve snorts and there is rustling of bags and then the tearing of plastic.

“Steve…” she sounds like she’s smiling and trying not to laugh. “Didn’t your mom ever tell you you shouldn’t eat sweets this early in the morning?” 

“She did but eeeeh…” a pause. “I don’t see her anywhere, do you? Here.. catch!”

Billy rounds the corner in time to see him toss an M&M up and her catching it with her mouth. They cheer and laugh and their connection is instantly tangible. It catches Billy off-guard and he is left just staring at them. There’s a feeling in his chest he cannot quite put a name to.  
Steve’s eyes are alight with joy as he looks at the short-haired blonde who is still chuckling while trying to chew. She is very pretty in a unique sort of way.  
Steve’s eyes land on Billy and his demeanor changes to a more neutral one immediately.

“Oh, hey, morning.” Steve greets casually and Billy nods in acknowledgement. The brunette’s eyes shift from Billy to Robin. “Oh! This is Robin Buckley. She’s in the same school. Robin, this is Billy Hargrove.”

Robin’s eyes flick over to Billy and a million different things cross through them before she settles for professional politeness. At least it’s something he can match, and so he does by smiling politely.

“Buckley. Can’t say I know of you, but that might be in your favor given the sort of people I hang out with.” He says, nodding to her.

“Wish I could say the same about you Hargrove, but your reputation precedes you.” Robin responds in a way that is both friendly and hostile. Billy raises an eyebrow.

“No shit.” He says but he does so in a soft tone, refusing to match her hostility. “So how do you know Harrington? By the sounds of it it’s not through school.”

“We worked together at Scoops Ahoy.” She clarifies, sticking her chin out and folding her arms.

While their conversation is superficial and polite, their body language is waging a different war. They are challenging each other, testing the waters.

“Aaah” Billy says acknowledgingly before glancing briefly to Steve who looks rather confused by the shift in energy that does not match the conversation. “So that’s what that outfit was?”

“No we dress like that for fun. It’s all the new rage.” Robin’s tone has very quickly shifted to sarcastic and mocking. Billy grins. What an interesting girl.

“Oh I’m not judging.” he only then realises they have been slowly stepping closer to each other, neither backing down. He looks her up and down. “Let me guess… drama geek?”

“Got a sixth sense or something?” She asks it in a dismissive manner but he can tell it is not completely genuine.

“Just an educated guess.” Billy grins wider at her, all teeth but no malintent. “Given neither I nor King Steve over there know you from school.” From his peripherals he can see Steve shifting uncomfortably.

“What, you’re telling me that Hawkins High number one troublemaker is educated?” She challenges with a smirk and a cocked eyebrow.

“Is that all they call me?”

“I tune out for the rest.”

“Coffee anyone?” Steve interrupts louder than necessary and he seems to realise it himself because he immediately turns away to the counter that holds the coffee pot.  
Billy and Robin both look at him with amusement.

“Black, one sugar.” Billy answers before turning back to Robin.

“None for me. I gotta dash, job’s aren’t hunting themselves.” She shrugs and spreads her arms in a way that is somehow apologetic as she walks backwards to the sliding door.  
Steve whips around and points at her.

“Oh, you’ll let me know if you find anything for both of us, right?” He asks with big, questioning eyes.

“Wouldn’t dare to keep it from you, Dingus. I don’t want to deal with your pouting.” She smirks jokingly and her eyes sparkle with mischief.

“Hey, I don’t pout.” He tells her with a scoff which she answers with a snort.

“You’re doing it right now.”

“Am not!” He argues before turning to Billy, looking at him expectantly. It takes the other a while before he understands what Steve wants from him. It’s not in their realm of normal communication, sue him.

“You...kind of are.” He confesses with a nonchalant shrug. Steve’s mouth opens and closes in an offended, fish-like manner.

“Oh well thanks a lot. Assholes.” He turns back to the coffee he was preparing and Billy actually cracks a smile, brief but genuine.

“See you later, Steve. Good meeting you, Hargrove.” Robin says, shaking her head with amusement before meeting Billy’s eyes.

“Likewise, Buckley.” Billy nods and he finds he actually means it. There is something about her he cannot quite place, but it’s not altogether bad. At least she’s not a typical girl by far.  
He watches her slip out the door and leave.

With the silence, the realisation comes crashing down on Billy that this was the closest he’d felt to normal in he can’t remember how long. A normal conversation… some banter even. He stares down at the dining table he was standing next to and sucks in a deep breath, suddenly feeling lightheaded.

A steaming mug appears in his line of vision and he startles out of his mind.

“Hey man, you don’t look so good.” Steve says in that bedside manner way of his, and Billy can’t convince himself that it’s actual worry he hears.  
Billy pulls out a chair and sits himself down before he’ll start swaying. He waves a dismissive hand.

“‘m fine..” He mumbles and refuses to make eye contact at first when Steve sits down opposite of him. His coffee is placed in front of him and he stares at the steamy liquid.  
They sit in silence for a long time and it feels awkward. They haven’t even properly talked to each other since that fateful night at the Byers’. There had been one or two instances where they were aware of each other’s presence, before the battle of Starcourt, and both had promptly ignored the other. Much has been left unspoken since then.

“So…” Billy begins, feeling his skin start to prickle with the sheer awkwardness. “Hawkins, huh? Who would’ve thought.”

“Yeah…” Steve replies, looking out into the living room. “Who would’ve thought.”

“How long has that shit been going on?” Billy asks, the sudden need for information gripping him tighter than ever. Try as he may, he can’t quite keep his underlying feelings from showing; the desperation, the everlasting confusion. Despite everything that was in his head as a direct result of the Mind Flayer, he is still as confused as he had been after his accident. Where it had all started.

“Eeh… about a year before you guys arrived it really started to turn to shit, I guess.” Steve answers as if he’s just been asked what’s for dinner. Billy swallows his pride.

“I want to know. Everything.” he says and Steve stares dumbfounded at him so he adds: “...please.”

Steve contemplates what the correct approach is. They are not supposed to talk about any of it, of course. The fear of what might happen if he’s caught is still very much installed in him. However, he is pretty sure his house is not being watched, especially after the kids had checked everything for possible spy-shit in every nook and crevice. Plus, this is Billy. He has gone through enough shit with the Upside Down that he should be allowed a proper explanation.  
And so they sit there, all morning, as Steve tells him the story from the very beginning to the best of his abilities. Shares with him everything he knows and Billy listens and nods appropriately, absorbs the information and asks for clarification if necessary. It’s the longest conversation they’ve ever had and it is nice. For a second they can pretend all is well.  
When Steve finishes his story he drinks the last of his second cup of coffee, waiting for Billy to say anything.

“Right…” Billy looks up at him, studying his face. Speaking of which… “Who smashed your face in this time?”  
It comes out much more condescending than he had wanted it to be and he curses himself, but Steve lets it slide.

“Got tortured by the Russian army.” Steve shrugs as if it’s no big deal and actually fucking stands up and puts their coffee mugs in the sink. Billy gapes at him.

“What the fuck, Harrington.” He finally says after several seconds. He is not sure whether it is a joke or not. “The hell were you doing with the Russian army?” he keeps a slightly disbelieving tone to his voice, just in case.  
But then Steve sits down again and tells the story of how he, Robin, Dustin and some girl named Erica ended up in a secret Russian base.

Fuck...so Steve wasn’t joking. Billy’s mind is positively reeling from all the information. The mess he is stuck in is so much bigger than he’d anticipated. The other dimensional stuff was bad enough but the depth all this gives to it… he’s not sure he’s cut out for this sort of thing.  
He excuses himself to the guest room. His head hurts and he feels sick.  
He remains there for the rest of the day, ignoring the faint voices he hears coming from the living area of the house. He can’t be bothered to deal with anything right now.

That night he sleeps even less.

Soon after that Billy loses track of the time and the days. He tries to sleep when he can but feels lost in his mind both when sleeping and when awake and the lines between the two are becoming very faint.  
He starts having more violent nightmares. Some in which he relives what he’s done, and others in which that thing is after him to finish what it had failed at; killing him.

Eventually the development comes where he screams in terror in his sleep.  
The first time it happened, Steve had freaked out and had come storming in with his baseball bat held high. Billy had woken to the sight of Steve raising the bat high and they’d both screamed in terror.  
After a few days Steve is used to it, however. He doesn’t come barging in anymore.  
Billy feels more alone because of it.

It’s been a week and a half and Billy can’t even find the willpower to go to bed anymore. He stands outside in the dead of night and just stares into the pool water feeling more and more like an empty shell. The soft rippling created by the wind is hypnotising. He stares past it and into the depths of the water.  
It feels like it’s calling to him and he can’t pull himself away.  
He wonders if he could drown in it. Wonders if his body would let him or if it would force itself to the surface to breathe. He wonders if it’d be scary to not have any air left in your lungs underneath the water’s surface.

“Call of the void.”

The voice startles him out of his thoughts and he whips around, heart thundering in his chest.  
Steve stands in the doorway, arms wrapped around himself. The low lighting makes the bag under his eyes stand out more than they normally do.

“What…?” Billy asks and he hates how his voice cracks.

“Call of the void.” Steve repeats and gestures towards the pool. “That’s what they call it when you think about...you know. It’s a thing.”

Billy looks towards the water and then back to Steve.

“How do you know what I’m thinking?” he asks with a dismissive scoff. He hates how Steve can shrug so nonchalantly at it.

“Call it a hunch.” He moves into his kitchen but then turns around and looks back to Billy. “Come inside… we need to have a talk. As adults.”

Billy swallows and contemplates remaining outside. He doesn’t feel like talking, especially not to Steve. They’ve already talked about the general elephant in the room, so that means what was left to discuss was the personal stuff.  
He does not want to discuss any of that shit with Steve Harrington.

However, the guy’s been incredibly patient and has given him everything he needs without asking for anything in return. If he wants to talk then Billy owes him as much, if only as a token of gratitude.

He sighs and drags his feet inside, planting himself on the couch. Surprise takes over his bored expression, however, when a small glass with a golden liquid is placed in front of him.

“I don’t know if you drink scotch but I figure it might help.” Steve shrugs and honestly it’s a fucking godsend.  
Without saying anything, Billy grabs the glass and downs it in one go. The liquid burns in his throat and he relishes in the feeling, leaning his head back, willing the alcohol to take effect. Steve’s already refilling his glass for him.

“Thanks.” he grunts.

“I’m gonna be upfront and direct.” Steve begins, voice strained after having taken a swig of his own glass, and Billy huffs. “It was fucked up what you did at the Byers’.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Billy mumbles softly and now it’s Steve’s turn to look surprised.

“Wait… you...agree?”

“Yeah, Harrington, I’m not a total idiot. I know that was fucked up.” he fixes his eyes on Steve and he hopes he sees the sincerity in them. “I was wrong.”

Steve stammers, trying to find his next words after having been thrown off of his carefully prepared speech.

“...so why?” he manages to say, shaking his head.

“God, we’re really doing this now, huh.” Billy says more to himself than Steve and sits up straighter. He downs the second glass too and stares intensely at the black screen of the TV. Anything is better than looking Steve in the eyes. Perhaps then he can get through this.  
“It was my job that night to watch Max. They gave me a time when they’re back, means after that I am free to go. I had a date, they were late. When they came in, Max was gone. I told them it was not my business anymore and I was going out but he… he wasn’t having it.”

Billy surprises himself with how much he tells him. He tells him about how he was forced to cancel his plans and look for Max, how he’d tracked her down. He tells him about the abuse in surprising depth, and tells him what was going to happen if he didn’t bring her back.  
How he had been itching for a fight, how that was his usual way of blowing off steam because he couldn’t really fight back...not physically.  
How he’d lost control during their fight and he’d just seen red and nothing else. How at some point he started seeing his dad’s face instead of Steve’s.

What he does not tell Steve is that his dad is a giant homophobe and regularly calls him faggot and seems to wind himself up doing it until he’s beating Billy again.  
How he’s not completely wrong and that Billy knows he has to hide it deep down and overcompensate to keep the suspicion at bay. How he has even convinced himself it isn’t there. How it was going well until Steve fucking Harrington.  
How he was….or is…wildly attracted to him. How it makes him seethe inside. How he had also taken the opportunity to beat his desires out of his system. Hoping it would work.

He looks at the reflection of Steve on the TV screen and his stomach churns. It hadn’t worked.

Silence sits heavily between them, Billy empties his glass that Steve refilled once more in one go and shivers at the sensation.

“Christ…” Steve whispers. “...so...are you-”

“Sorry for what I did?” Billy interrupts. “Yeah. Even more after knowing what was really going on that night. Fuck, Harrington, if I could jump back as this version of myself I’d grab a weapon and join.”

Steve actually chuckles at that, but he sounds surprised. “You would?”

“Yeah.” he says and he finally looks Steve directly in the eyes. “I’m…... sorry.”

That seems to flick on some kind of light in Steve’s head and against Billy’s expectations, he jumps up with an angry expression.

“Yeah what the hell was that about, by the way?!”

Billy blinks in utter confusion. “...what?”

“In Starcourt! You used your last fucking breath to apologise...to ME?!” Steve exclaims, waving his arms until his hands come to rest on his hips in a show of impatience, and a demand for an answer.  
Billy blinks at him for a while longer, willing his brain into function. When the memory returns, he winces.

“I did, didn’t I.”

“Yeah! What the hell man? We were barely ever more than two people going to the same school!! Max was right there...she was right there! Your sister! Who’d been distraught by what was happening to you and who had to be held back when you….when…” Steve trails off, anger ebbing away as the memories come flooding back. His face shows a flicker of the pain that memory causes.  
Billy looks down at the floor, pained in his own way by the words shouted at him.

“I...I couldn’t see...anyone else. I didn’t...know.” He can’t find the words to react to that. He still remembers seeing her face through the window of the sauna door, twisted with pain...for him. It had been the realest moment they’ve had together.  
Steve seems to notice what his words have caused and he swallows thickly. The only thing he can think to do is change the subject.

“So... you had a date that night, huh.” He opts in awkward fashion. Billy remains silent for a while and for a moment Steve thinks changing the subject might not be the way to go but then the man huffs a humourless laugh.

“What you didn’t think I got all dressed up for you, did you Pretty Boy?” He comments back but somehow it does not carry any of the aggressive heat it normally would have.  
Steve chuckles at the comment and visibly relaxes and his cheeks turn a rosy colour. Or maybe they already were and Billy only now notices. It makes him wonder how many glasses Harrington has downed.

“Want another?” Steve asks and gestures to the empty glass on the table. Billy looks at it and grins.

“Trying to get me drunk?” he asks and his tone is teasing now, flirtatious teasing. Steve rolls his eyes but smiles, and for a moment Billy’s painfully aware of his own heartbeat. He has to stop the alcohol right now.

“Thought you might sleep better.” Steve says with a shrug before he sits himself down on the couch again.

“I don’t think sleep is for me.” Billy shrugs much in the same way and lounges on the couch, turning his eyes up to the ceiling.

“Nah, I get you. I have not been sleeping much myself.” Steve huffs out a breath and lounges much in the same way as his companion.

Billy keeps his eyes fixed on a spot on the ceiling and relishes in the comfortable silence that stretches between them. The house is warm inside and there are never a lot of sounds. All he can hear is their breathing. The sound of it soothes him and he focuses on it, and on the warmth that he can feel radiate off of Steve and seep into his arm and leg.  
They are not sitting ridiculously close together but somehow he can still feel it.  
Suddenly he is also aware his eyes are closed. When did that happen? He should open them again but just does not have the strength yet. Maybe in a minute.  
It feels nice. He’s not alone now, the chances of something suddenly happening to him are a lot less. And if they do then he knows Steve can hold his own. It’s reassuring and, he almost dares to think, safe.

Before he knows it he’s fallen asleep.

The morning light slowly brings Billy back from his slumber. He feels groggy but manages to open his eyes to glance around and look for a clock.  
It’s 9am. He’s slept for a solid 5 hours, how about that.  
A shifting sound besides him and a tickling sensation on his shoulder abruptly pulls his attention away from the clock and to his left side and his heart skips a beat.

Steve Harrington is asleep right next to him, head slumped to the side so far that his hair is tickling Billy’s shoulder. They are so close without actually touching. It’s both a small blessing and frustrating.  
Before he can lose himself in the thought, Billy quietly stands up and tiptoes his way to the kitchen. He sets about making coffee as silently as he can and then leans against the counter while he waits for it to brew and dares to sneak a look at the couch.  
Steve is still in the same position, breathing peacefully, his hair just slightly messy.  
Billy’s so lost in thought that he fails to notice his elbow is nearing a stack of plates on the counter until he knocks into it hard when moving back when he finally manages to draw his eyes away from the sleeping form. The plates make an abundance of noise and it is immediately followed by stirring on the couch.  
Billy curses himself as he tries to straighten the pile. When he turns back around Steve is already up on his feet and rubbing his eyes. They look at each other and Billy looks away first, turning his attention to the coffee machine before hurrying to grab two mugs.

“I eh.. Sorry, I tried to be silent.” Somehow he is stumbling clumsily through that sentence and he curses himself once more.

“‘s okay. Sorry I fell asleep last night during our talk.” Steve offers in return and sits down on a chair by the dining table. However when Billy turns to look at him he can see the wonder and surprise in the man’s eyes as he stares at the coffee pot.  
Billy waves him off.

“We were about done, I’d say. Besides…” he pauses and fills up the mugs with steamy liquid. Once done he grabs the two mugs and walks over the the dining table, placing one down in front of Steve before adding sugar to his own. He’s not making eye contact as he finishes his sentence. “I fell asleep too. Longest sleep I’ve had in a long...long time.”

“Me too…” Steve replies and it sounds like he is only just realising it himself.  
They drink their coffee in momentary silence.

“Must be the alcohol.”

“Yeah, good stuff.”

Billy puts his empty mug on the counter eventually and clears his throat.

“Well, I’m gonna take a shower.”

He’s halfway down the hallway to the guest room he’s occupying when he hears Steve call him.

“Hargrove.” and Billy turns around to face him. Steve looks uneasy. “Eh, listen… what we talked about last night. It stays between us.”

It takes Billy a moment to catch up to the fact that Steve is trying to reassure him and he’s only now noticing that the thought of other people knowing does in fact bother him. So after a moment of contemplation, he smiles a genuine smile.

“Thanks, Harrington. I appreciate that.”

They nod at each other and both feel the weight of what could become a friendship but what would need some work, lying comfortably on their shoulders. Billy moves into the guest room and goes about his routine before getting dressed.  
His nightrest was decent at most but it does fucking wonders for how he feels. He even takes his sweet time perfecting his hair and splashes on just a hint of cologne.  
He was going to go with a button-up shirt but he cannot bring himself to button them up but if he doesn’t they show the bandaging that is still protecting the healing wound in his chest. A shirt it is, but it’s still warm in Hawkins, so a shirt is also all he puts on besides a pair of gym shorts.

Something is starting to smell really good and his stomach rumbles in agreement. Is Harrington actually cooking them up something to ring in this first morning of proper sleep and whatnot?  
Billy finds himself curious and heads out to see what is being prepared.  
What he isn’t ready for is to be faced with six young faces that suddenly turn to him as soon as he walks into the kitchen. He stops dead in his tracks and stares at the group of pre-teens in front of him.

“...What the fuck…” is all he can say.

The kids' chatter falls to an abrupt silence and there is an awkwardness that fills the room immediately. Some of the kids don't even dare to look him in the eyes and Billy can see from the way they stand they are fearful of his wrath.  
He recognises it because it is the same way he would behave around his dad when he was their age. It makes him feel sick that this is because of him.  
He makes eye contact with Max who seems, when he focuses on her, to use it as an excuse to open her mouth and start going off about not receiving any calls from him or anything.  
Two kids are on a level of silence that is almost audible, one he recognises only vaguely as the youngest Byer’s and the other one....  
Billy and the girl look at each other and while he cannot determine the emotion on her face, Billy feels like he’s being punched in the gut. His head hurts with how fast memories are flashing before his eyes. He feels a lot of things and it’s making him dizzy and he doesn’t notice through the whirlwind of everything that he was walking backwards until there is a hand on his shoulder and the whole world stops and goes quiet.

Billy feels like his head moves in slow-motion when he looks to the side and relaxes because he knows who it is before he sees Steve’s face. Everything slows down and becomes manageable and he can breathe. He can’t focus on what Steve’s saying, can barely hear anything, but it doesn’t matter because it’s not directed at him.  
Suddenly Steve is looking at him and Billy wonders how long he’s been doing that when his state of absence is broken with a light shake of his shoulder.

“Are you hungry?” It sounds like the question is being repeated. Steve has that tone to his voice.  
Billy gives him a single nod and follows Steve’s directions when he gestures to a chair at the dining table.  
The kids sit down remarkably calm but their eyes are still focused on him. Max sits in front of him with Eleven next to her, then Mike. Lucas sits at the head of the table, furthest away from him. Will sits next to Billy and Dustin next to that.  
When Billy’s eyes land on Will he is met with a look of deep sadness and understanding and he suddenly feels more exposed than he has the night before with Steve. Like this kid sees something the others are not.

“Ok, you listen here!” Max demands with her heated stare on him and a determination Billy is almost proud of. “I haven’t heard from you in two weeks! What the hell!”

“So what, I’m supposed to report to you now?” Billy snaps back automatically. His brain is still catching up and this is the only type of response it knows how to give to Max, so it’s all she is getting. Somehow it is just not as heated as it once was. It’s almost...exhausted.

“No.” Max scoffs. “But for all I knew you were in a ditch somewhere.”

“I’m a big boy, Maxine. I can take care of myself.” He comments back and he didn’t mean to use her birth name but he does. She seems to let it slide. “I can keep myself alive without you.”

Hurt and a haunted look flash through Max’ eyes. Her mouth opens and shuts again because she just can’t bring herself to speak. This finally breaks through Billy’s automatic responses and shakes him awake. Shame rears its ugly head and makes him feel sick to his stomach. He looks away, towards the floor.

“Max...I...” he begins but Max cuts him off.

“No, you know what...no! You have no idea the stuff I went through!” She slams her hands on the table. “Having to figure out if you were really Flayed, seeing you go through all of that. Having to watch you, Flayed you, hurt my friends and nearly killing them! And then on top of everything I watched you die, Billy! Do you get that? Actually fucking die!”

“Max...” Billy looks around, at all the eyes focused on them in judging silence and it weighs heavy on him, especially since normally he wouldn’t give two shits. He contemplates excusing both of them for a moment but as he stops to think about it for a second longer he comes up with something that might settle the situation ánd set the tone for the rest of those kids. Win win.

“Come here.” He says and beckons her. Max shoots him a mistrusting look and remains in her seat. He beckons her again, a little clearer now. Reluctantly, she stands up and shuffles over to him just as Billy moves his legs so his body is facing her.  
When she is in front of him, he leans forward.

“This is a one-time thing, you hear me?” He says in his usual asshole-ish tone. The one he always uses with her. When Max frowns in response he wastes no time and pulls her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her tight, but not so tight it will hurt.

They’ve never hugged before this, and Billy considers their relationship to be ‘not of that nature’ and sure this is all for the show...but somewhere in his subconscious he has to admit it is kind of nice. Especially when Max gets over the initial wariness and slowly wraps her arms around him in return...before she truly clings to him and he can feel all the emotional distress this has caused her. Perhaps he does feel a little bad.

They hug for a surprisingly long time and Billy finds he hasn’t even noticed the room has gone quiet until they stop. He slowly pulls back from her and looks her in the eyes. They are glistening with fresh tears.

“No tears, Max. Save it for someone that deserves it.” He says sternly. She nods and takes a deep breath. The water disappears from her eyes without spilling and he ruffles her hair gently before gesturing for her to get back to her seat.

Billy straightens himself in his seat and looks towards the other kids at the table, who seem to have settled down in the meantime. He can just about suppress the grin at his plan working out when he’s drawn from his thoughts by a plate than lands in front of him.  
His eyes snap to the object and the steaming sandwiches on top of it.

“What’s this..?” He asks before he realises what’s coming from his mouth.

Steve stops in his tracks on the way back to the kitchen and shoots him an incredulous look.

“It’s lunch.” He says in a ‘duuh’ sort of way and moves to grab the next set of plates.

“Steve makes the best grilled cheese sandwiches!” Dustin says practically beaming as he leans forward on the table.  
Billy hums in response, examining the food as if it’s going to attack him. Tentatively he picks up one of the sandwiches, sniffs it and then takes a bite.

The taste explodes in his mouth and he moans. He fucking moans. Body betraying him as he can’t remember the last time a simple meal has tasted so damn good.  
Dustin grins at him and says “Told ya” and then Billy’s eyes shoot towards Steve who is standing with his back towards them.  
Somehow Billy feels embarrassed that such a sound was drawn from him and he hopes it doesn’t make him look weird but when his eyes land on Steve, he can see the smile in the way his cheek and ear move; the way the muscles are used.  
It makes Billy feel warm inside to think that smile was because of him. He doesn’t realise he is smiling too until he looks ahead of himself and finds Max looking at him as if he’s grown a second head. He drops the smile and takes another bite.

“How do you make ‘em so damn good?” Billy asks once everyone has a plate.

“You gotta use multiple cheeses.” Steve states as if it’s basic knowledge, sitting down with his own plate.

“We can’t all afford multiple cheeses.” Mike comments in an almost nasty tone and a few of the kids snigger while Steve looks away uncomfortable. It's the first thing Billy hears him say and he knows immediately what kind of person Mike is.

“So why’s it starting to look like a daycare here?” Is Billy’s next question and all the kids’ heads immediately snap towards Steve.

“I didn’t get round to telling him yet, ok?!” Steve exclaims, holding his hands up in defense. Billy raises an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?! You’re practically living together!” Mike exclaims in return, slapping his palm to his forehead which makes Eleven giggle.

“Alright, alright!” Steve says, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. He turns to Billy. “I offered my house as their new HQ, away from parental eyes and ears ‘cause they’re getting more suspicious.”

“So we hang out here now.” Max says with a shrug. Billy nods, keeping his opinions to himself for now.

“Oh! I just have to ask!” Dustin calls out, leaning on the table and almost knocking his plate over. “What was it like to be flayed for you? Were you able to hear his thoughts too? See what he sees? What did it feel like? What’d he make you do?”

“Dustin!” Steve slams his fist on the table and his voice is stern, like that of someone with actual authority over the kid. Dustin sinks back into his chair with a mouthed ‘what?’.

Billy looks from Dustin to Steve to his plate and his eyes linger there. The questions have rendered him silent and his brain goes a million miles a minute. Memories he doesn’t want to experience again mix with his thoughts on how to answer. His mouth opens and closes uselessly and his heart is racing. Flashback after flashback hits him and his face screws up in discomfort, his ears ringing. The room feels several degrees hotter and he is sweating... so much.  
He sees Heather...and what he’s done to her… to her parents… the same that happened to countless others.  
He places his shaking hands on the table to get a grip but when he looks at them, he sees the blood he knows is on them.  
He gasps and lets out a startled cry, eyes widening in terror and he doesn’t realise he jumped up until he trips over the chair he knocked back.  
There’s a dull ache in his back when it hits the floor. He can’t breathe, as if he forgot how to, but at the same time he feels like he’s hyperventilating.

There’s a hand on his arm suddenly and high on survival instinct he pushes the owner away from him as hard as he can. His brain catches up with what he’s doing a moment later but it’s too late and he can only watch Steve get knocked into the kitchen counter with a force that’s got to hurt, but he scrambles forward not soon after, undeterred and this time Billy doesn’t push him away.  
He watches the other boy’s face as he makes eye contact with someone at the table and talks to them...and then listens to the reply.

The focus Billy has on Steve grounds him a little bit and when Steve’s hand returns to his arm it helps a little more but he still flinches.  
The world around him is too loud and too much but he can focus on Steve… and then he can hear his voice.

“Billy...I’m going to help you breathe, ok? Can you follow my instructions?” He asks and he waits...patiently. After a while, Billy’s brain catches up and he tries to push Steve away from him once more, less full-force than before.

“I can breathe on my own.” He snarls, trying to push himself up so quick that he gets more dizzy and groans in annoyance. It comes to a point where he is panicking about his own panic and it becomes a vicious cycle he is not sure how to get out of.

“Cut the crap, Hargrove. You’re not helpless but you could use a hand.” Steve berates him sternly, undeterred, reassuming his position at the guy’s side.

Billy shoots him a glare to hopefully have him back off but he can feel as much as see in Steve’s expression that it is as weak as he feels.  
Steve stares him down and the determination in his gaze easily overpowers the weak glare on Billy’s side.  
Defeatingly, the blonde nods his consent albeit begrudgingly.

“Alright. Listen to me and try to match my breathing when you feel you can. Breathe in, 2, 3, 4 and out, 2, 3, 4, and in 2, 3, 4.”

Steve keeps repeating the mantra but it takes a while before Billy can match it. His pride and stubbornness still stepping in the way of the help Steve offers.. When he finally can, Steve tells him to close his eyes and he does.

“Keep breathing like that, tell me something you can hear.” Steve says and his voice is so soft, bedside manners shining through.

“Clock…” Billy mumbles softly. “And chairs.” He can hear the kids moving in their chairs, uncertain of what to do with themselves.

“Good, now, something you feel.”

“The ground...hard floor.” Billy replies, frowning when he comes to terms with the fact he is on the floor. He’s realising he’s slowly coming back down to Earth. “Your hand on my arm.”

“Now open your eyes. Tell me something you see.” Steve says and when Billy does open his eyes, he doesn’t waste any time replying.

“You.”

Steve rolls his eyes.

“Yeah because I’m blocking half your view. Something besides me.” He clarifies but Billy shakes his head.

“I only see you.” He’s truthful, if a little confused himself. He doesn’t register anything else but Steve, doesn’t dare move his eyes away.  
Steve huffs a laugh and smiles small and genuine and Billy melts. The tension in his muscles he doesn’t even realise was there leaves his body and he slumps on the floor, the world returning as close to normal as it can be right after but he’s definitely back in it again.  
Steve remains by his side, absentmindedly petting Billy’s arm while he speaks to the kids.

“Guys, be mindful of your questions alright? One at the time and keep in mind he doesn’t have to answer them. You of all people should know better!” He sounds a little pissed, which gives Billy a warm feeling in his stomach.

“What the hell even happened?” Lucas asks, eating his grilled cheese sandwich despite the situation.

“Panic attack.” Will answers in a small voice. “I used to get them a lot after…well...after what happened.”

“He did say in the sauna that the Mind Flayer made him do horrible things.” Max offers.

“Yes. Imagine living through the things you’ve done, every time someone even mentions what happened.” Will explains and the kids hum in understanding.

“Hey...dickheads. I’m right here.” Billy grunts from the floor, voice raspy.

“Guess he’s back.” Max says with a roll of the eyes.

Steve gives him a warning look which Billy guesses is because of the use of the word ‘dickhead’, but he doesn’t say anything. He does help him up slowly and offers his support to steady him if necessary.

“I’m alright, man. Thanks.” Billy says so softly only Steve can hear it.

“No problem.” the other boy replies and they retake their seats at the table.

The silence between them all stretches out until Billy sighs.

“Look, all I am telling you right now is that it made me do horrible things, and I am not going to go into detail. Ever.” He glares around the room, daring anyone to challenge him. Only when he is met with silent agreement does he continue: “it was fucking horrifying. It was empty and cold. So fucking cold. And yeah, I did see some of its shit as well...hear its thoughts. Wouldn’t recommend it.”

A lot is left unsaid but there’s enough they can make out of the context to attest to just how horrible it has been.

“One good thing”

Everyone turns to El who is only looking at Billy with an intense stare.

“Whaddaya mean one good thing? That thing wants nothing but to kill.” Billy argues, meeting her intense stare head on. “Are you seriously defending it?”

“Has opened your eyes.” She states and they hold each other’s gazes for what seems like an eternity. Her words hold so much more meaning than any of the other’s could possibly decipher. There’s something she knows. Something only she knows about him. Billy’s frown goes deeper and deeper. But then the light switches on and only when it does, does he break his eyes away. Suddenly he feels exposed again, split open like a book that this girl seems to be able to read effortlessly.

“Oh, you can’t be serious. That’s hardly a good thing!” He shakes his head, clearly reluctant. He takes a deep breath before he even attempts to explain it.  
“The… what do you call it... Flayer? The Flayer, it opens your eyes to the equality of everyone.”

“What do you mean?” Mike asks, intrigued.

“Look around you. You’re sitting at the table with all kinds. Black, white, girls, boys, all hair colours...etcetera. To not even mention sexualities but you’re all too young for that shit.” He immediately keeps talking to talk over any forming arguments. “We’re taught that others are different, you know? I was taught black people were lesser than us and that you had to stay away from them.”

Lucas’ face immediately turns into a glare but Billy waves him off.

“But the Flayer… well its ideas, its thoughts and visions sort of leak into your brain like the rain soaks into your clothes. It doesn’t have these views that are forced upon us. It doesn’t see the difference because to it there are none. They’re all sacks of meat, constructed in the same way, filled with the same kind of stuff. We’re all the same.”

“That’s a nice way of looking at it.” Steve comments, nodding almost appreciatively.

“We’re all big bags of food.” Billy clarifies.

“Oh…”

They all look down at their remaining food with a slight distaste. Billy’s the first to pick his sandwich back up and bite a big chunk off.  
After a little bit the rest joins in and they finish the rest of their meal in silence. The kids retreat to the living room and Billy actually elects to help Steve clear up the dishes. Not necessarily out of his instinct to help, but because he’s got something he needs to check with the guy.

“....did I hurt you?” He blurts out, staring holes through the dirty plates stacked in the sink. In his peripherals he can see Steve stop and turn towards him, running a hand through his hair and chuckling in that way he does when he’s not entirely sure what someone means.

“What are you talking about?”

Billy waits a couple of seconds before he turns to face the other, daring to look him in the eyes, his own gaze full of determination.

“It was a reflex I couldn’t control when I pushed you away.” he states and it feels awkward when it leaves his mouth. He’s not even apologizing, just stating a random fact. But Steve, bless him, chuckles again, this time in understanding.

“Yeah, man, I know.” Steve tells him. “Don’t worry I barely feel it anymore.”

Billy winces. That’s not the answer he was hoping for but it confirms what he thought to be right; he pushed really fucking hard.

“Ah shit, I’m...I’m so-” Billy is stopped by a hand held up to his face.

“Don’t. Honestly, it’s fine. I know the risks of approaching someone in the midst of an attack.” Steve glances over his shoulder to make certain the kids are far away enough and then takes a step closer to Billy, speaking in a hushed tone. “To be honest, when Will started getting them Joyce sat me down and told me what to do. ‘Cause I drive them around and all.”

Billy looks at him in wonder, the words sinking into his skull until a grin spreads across his face.

“You’re something else, Harrington.” he says before he can think his words through, pats the guy on the shoulder and mutters a “thank you” before walking away.

As he enters the living room all six pairs of eyes are once again fixed on him and they honestly have got to stop that, he thinks, or he’ll break something.

“What now, dipshits?” he grumbles, folding his arms.

“Well… Dustin just made a good point.” Lucas starts, glancing over towards his friend who seems to lose some of his bravado now that he has to tell his point to Billy.

“Y-Yeah….so. What I was saying is that we shouldn’t take any risks.” Dustin begins, stumbling through his words.  
The entire room frowns at his vague explanation.

“Let’s cut the crap, Dustin” Mike says, ever the loudest mouth, and turns to Billy. “Last time, we thought the Mind Flayer was gone, but he was hiding in Will...dormant.”

Billy narrows his eyes as he figures where this is going to go. Steve joins the group in the living room, drying his wet hands on a dishtowel.

“So what you’re saying is…” Billy presses impatiently.

“We can’t be sure the Mind Flayer is actually gone from you.” Dustin reveals as if it is a logical conclusion and it probably is to them, but to Billy… it is a maddening thing to hear and he can feel his anger start to boil.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding.” He snaps and he sees in their faces they’ve caught on to his change in mood, they seem apprehensive.

“As far as we know the Flayed are all connected through the hive mind, just like the Demogorgons. So when a gate closes and the connection is lost, everything connected dies.” Max explains.

“Yeah their brains literally shut off.” Dustin adds.

“But you...didn’t die. In fact you recovered pretty quickly all things considered.” Lucas levels him with a suspicious glare.

“So we can’t be sure you are totally un-Flayed. I mean, technically you did die. So, you know, the host body dies and therefore the parasite should die too but after you were brought back by-” Max starts finishing their theory but before she can finish her sentence, Steve jumps in interrupting her.

“S-SO! So what you’re saying...is you need proof, right?” He spurts out before looking hopefully at every face that gives him a weird look for the sudden interruption.

“Eh...yeah.” Dustin replies, shaking his head clear of his momentary confusion. “Yes, we need to prove that you are totally clear.”

Billy rubs his temple in frustration and sighs deeply. This is just a bitter icing on the sweet cake that was supposed to be his day.

“So what, you’re going to interrogate me?” he asks, exasperated.

The party looks towards each other before turning to Steve.

“Where’s your biggest shower?”

Steve blinks sheepishly at them and mentally goes over the bathrooms in his house.

“Eh...in my parents’ ensuite I guess.” He replies after a few seconds.

“We’re going to steam Billy!” Dustin exclaims with a proud grin.

Half an hour later Billy is sitting on the massive king-size bed of Steve’s parents. He’s still seething inside and questioning how he even ended up agreeing in the first place. He’s fairly certain it’s Steve’s fault. Asking him to humour the kids with those big doe-eyes and honestly, how was he supposed to say no to those.  
The culprit of his sulking is leaning against the wall in front of him, waiting patiently while Dustin, Mike and Lucas fumble with the shower settings to make it as hot as possible… to really make it steamy.  
Max, Eleven and Will are standing by the door leading to the hallway, whispering between themselves.

“This is fucking bullshit.” Billy complains to himself. “I need a cigarette.”

“Not in my parents’ room.” Steve says off-handedly and pointedly ignores the glare thrown his way.

“Fuck you, Harrington.” He spits. “This is your fault. You talked me into this.”

“I didn’t know the great Billy Hargrove could be talked into anything.” Steve mocks with an infuriating smirk. Billy snarls and is about to shoot back a reply when Mike emerges from the bathroom.

“We’re ready.”

Billy groans and steps into the bathroom where the double glass door to a frankly huge shower is being held open for him. Before he steps in he takes in the size of the damn thing, and the fact it has a built-in shower bench. He turns around slightly to shoot a look at Steve who merely shrugs.

“European.” he says as if that explains everything...and it kind of does.

Billy steps through the opening and remains facing the wall while they close the door behind him. He studies the inside of the shower. It helps distract him from the steamy heat that attacks his skin immediately. The shower head is turned towards the wall so the hot water doesn’t hit his skin. The heat building in the confined space is one that makes it almost instantly hard to breathe.  
Slowly, he comes to turn around and stares at the three boys on the other side of the glass.

“How long is this meant to continue for?” He asks, already fed up with the situation.

“....until we are satisfied.” Dustin shrugs and honestly Billy would love to punch him but he bites back his bubbling rage. Instead, he fixes his gaze on Mike.

“This what I get for saving your girl?”

Mike glances back at Eleven and they share a sweet smile.

“No.” He says matter-of-factly before turning back to him with a sinister smile. “This is what you get for nearly killing her.”

“Mike, that’s not fair.” Steve says warningly from the doorway. Billy would have said something himself but seeing the other boy take a stand for him has him smirk and he sits down on the shower bench.

“Well then it’s for him threatening Lucas. Or him beating your face in. Take your pick!” Mike argues, throwing his arms in the air in frustration.

Billy grins. There it is… the reason for all this. Well, he’s known of course but hearing it finally spoken out loud is bringing him more amusement than he thought it would.

“Yeah, man… he’s an asshole.” Dustin chimes in, siding with his friend. “Why are you defending him?”

“So your plan is to kill me, huh?” Billy snorts, leaning forward on his knee, upper body half twisted to face the group outside the glass doors. He grins madly. “Because there are quicker ways for that.”  
The three pre-teens stare at him in horror.

“What? No!” Mike exclaims before turning back to Steve who is shaking his head at the figure inside his parents’ shower. “See?! He’s crazy!”

“Yeah, yeah…” Steve responds but there is a disdain in the way he says it. Not towards Billy...more towards what the kids are saying. Instead of arguing, he decides to step away and disappears around the corner.

Billy catches sight of the bat leaning against the wall when Steve moves and he is briefly reminded that they are ready to attack if necessary and that they are serious about this.  
He decides to use this moment of being stuck for contemplation, rather than winding others up. It feels unnatural to make that call, but has to gain some ounce of trust from these bunch of misfits if he’s to get any rest eventually.  
It’s going well for all of five minutes, which is when the pain starts.

It floods him so suddenly he doubles over, gritting his teeth to muffle the cry of pain but it’s loud enough still to draw attention. Billy desperately grips his chest which feels like he’s being impaled, or about to be...again. He gasps for breath and falls forward on his knees.

“Billy?!” Max cries out and then everyone starts crowding the shower. He turns his head to the side and where he sees worry in Max’ face, he sees fear in the others. They think he’s still Flayed. They think he’s confirming their suspicions.  
Another wave of pain hits him and his vision swims, unfocused. He doesn’t know how to show them that it’s something different. Either way they couldn’t help him. Not them… with their theories. No, he needs…he needs...

“Ha….Harrington!!”


	2. Redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being in close proximity to Steve has consequences for Billy and they are starting to show while their lives now forcibly intertwined by them living together settle in the new dynamics. The kids are still not convinced this was the right thing to do.  
> Oh and Robin is back.

Steve shouts at the kids to move out of his way and he approaches the door. Ever since his first encounter with the Upside Down Steve has noticed how he rapidly not only developed a stronger survival instinct for himself but also for others. His system goes in a sort of first-response mode whenever he hears someone in trouble in his close vicinity. It’s useful, so he isn’t too bothered by it...and he’d rather not stop to think about why such an instinct is even necessary.

“No, Steve! Don’t!” Dustin warns, fear forcing his voice up a few octaves.

Steve stares through the glass, visually checking Billy’s body. There’s no black veins or anything that’d tell them he’s actually still Flayed.  
That’s when he sees the end of white bandaging poking out from underneath Billy’s shirt. Panic shoots through him as he realises what is going on.

“Shit. It’s his injuries!” He yells at the kids and pushes them out of the bathroom before ripping open the shower door. With little help from Billy’s side, he drags the boy out of the shower and lays him down on the cooler tiles. As quick as he can, Steve shuts off the shower head where it’s pointed at the wall and returns to fuss over Billy.

Without thinking he begins to lift the shirt, encouraging Billy to help a little by lifting himself as much as he can. Eventually he gets the shirt pushed up and stops at the sight he sees.  
The bandaging has all but fallen away, having become wet in the process of the steaming and fallen loose from Billy’s chest. It reveals the huge, star-like shaped healing wound on Billy’s chest which is now an alarmingly red colour.  
Billy’s eyes are screwed shut and his chest heaves with the difficult breaths he’s taking.

Steve looks up to the party standing in the doorway but they’re all shocked to silence. His eyes slide back down to the angry scar-tissue and for a second he panics when his mind draws a blank.  
Billy’s skin glistens with sweat and water drops from the steam and when Steve very carefully reaches out to jar a response out of the guy, he nearly recoils at how unnaturally warm he feels. Like he’s running a mad fever, which could actually be what is happening.  
As quick as he can, he assesses the situation. The rest of his skin doesn’t appear burnt so that’s a good thing because then he can probably cool him down with cold water.

Steve jumps up and grabs an armful of towels from the rack in his parents’ bathroom. He dumps them in the shower, switches the temperature to cold and points the shower head at the stack of towels.  
As soon as the top one is soaked, he snatches it up and wrings out the excess water before rushing back to Billy’s side and spreading the towel out across his right arm, right shoulder and a few inches of his chest. He hears as much as sees the sharp inhale and hiss Billy makes at the cold sensation.  
Steve wastes no time grabbing the next towel and repeating the process on Billy’s left side. The next towel is placed on his abdomen and hips, below the healing wound. Two more are placed on his legs and one around his head.

All the while the kids are staring dumbfounded but they have the decency to look a little guilty. Once all the towels are in place, Max finally finds the courage to step forward and kneel down next to Billy, who’s heavy breathing is calming down rapidly as his temperature drops.

“Billy… uhm..” she begins clearly at a loss of words and she is stopped almost immediately by Billy raising his finger to indicate she hold her tongue.

“Save it.” He groans before opening his eyes and taking a deep, steadying breath. A heated glare levels the rest of the kids. “Satisfied?” He asks bitterly.  
There is some unintelligent mumbling amongst them until they decide it’s best they leave and they disappear into the bedroom and then the hallway.

Max looks between their retreating backs and her brother laying on the floor a couple of times before she mutters an half-assed apology on their behalf and disappears out the door as well.

Steve has been looking on from where he chose to sit down, back against the wall directly by Billy’s side, one knee drawn up and arm lazily resting on it. He stares ahead of himself once the kids have made their departure, not even changing his position when he feels Billy’s eyes on him.

“Those kids are your responsibility, you know.” Billy states, clearly pointing to the fact Steve is the one who opened his house to them.

“But you promised we’d raise them together!” Steve gasps dramatically before looking at Billy with an unimpressed look. He gets about as much in return.  
They look away eventually and remain in silence for about two minutes. It’s oddly comfortable, Steve notices. He imagined it would be incredibly awkward if they were ever stuck in the same room together after everything that happened between them. Awkward with an “I hope we don’t end up fighting” kind of tension.  
“Hey..” Billy says after a short while and Steve looks down questioningly at him. Billy’s jaw is tensed, as if he’s having a lot of difficulties either saying something, or not saying it. “...thanks.”

Steve waves him off but he gives him the courtesy of a smile.  
“No problem. Think you’re ok to move?” He asks, slowly rising to his feet. When Billy nods, Steve moves through the process of turning off the shower at last before holding his hands out for the other to guide him upwards.  
Steve sees the reluctance in the action but Billy does end up grasping his arms and hauling himself to his feet using more force and with more weight than Steve was prepared for. The latter loses his footing and stumbles forward and Billy, not having had enough time to gain his balance yet, stumbles backwards until his back collides with the wall with a soft thud.  
Steve stumbles the rest of the way, helpless to regain his footing, until he collides with a warm, naked, wet chest. While his right leg manages to brace itself at last somewhere next to Billy’s left, Steve’s left leg unfortunately ends up pressing between Billy’s.  
Steve hastily pushes himself upwards once he feels his stability return and once he hears the owner of the chest groan in what he has to assume is pain.  
Mortified, Steve moves back, accidentally bracing himself on Billy’s abs and looks him over. When he sees his face screwed up as it is, he immediately stumbles into apologies.

“Holy shit, I’m sorry! I-I...apparently wasn’t fully prepared for the force and… shit does it hurt bad? Should I call the hospital? Shit...shit you’re warming up again, hang on.” and he sprints to the pile of discarded towels where they’ve fallen off of Billy, checks which ones will do the best and hangs one towel over each of Billy’s shoulders and one placed over his head.  
All the boy seems to do however is stare at him, wide-eyed and lips parted in silent shock. And Steve, bless his heart, only attributes it to how much it must have hurt.

“Oh man...I’m calling the hospital.” Steve splurts and is about to dart out of the room before Billy grabs a hold on his wrist, finally coming to life again.

“No! No... I’m good, Harrington. Don’t...don’t worry.” Billy says but his voice is not as steady as it was before and it has Steve doubt, so he tries to draw a deep breath and slap on a smile. “It hurt initially, but it’s getting better.”

“Right…” Steve says, clearly suspicious. “Well, let’s go fix the bandaging at least.”

A couple minutes later they are in the kitchen. Billy sits on a stool without a backrest so there is easier access all around him, and he’s not wearing a shirt at all anymore and occasionally glares towards the living room where the kids have taken their seats. Steve busies around him; placing a bowl of some lukewarm, soapy water on the table along with a wet and a dry towel. Next to those lay the supplies needed to wrap Billy back up.  
Billy himself is growing more uncomfortable by the second and fidgets with the plastic of the stool.  
The thing is Steve has insisted that it must be nicer for him to wash the sweat from the steaming session off before they’d redo his bandaging. He can’t argue with that. Steve has also insisted that he doesn’t mind doing it, because there is no way Billy can reach his back and especially not in his current state.  
Billy has argued that he’s being ridiculous and that it is not his task and that if anyone, Max should do it...being family and all. She, of course, had chosen that moment to throw back his own claim that they, in fact, were not blood-related and that he could fuck off.  
Steve is having none of it.

“Listen, it’s medically necessary so there’s no argument here.” He says, arms crossed as he stares Billy down. “Plus...you are in my house and I don’t want to deal with the smell.” A teasing smirk spreads across his face when Billy glares up to him.

“Fine, nurse Harrington.” Billy mocks in return with a smirk, earning the same glare back he’s shot Steve. “Sponge bath it is.”

Steve dips the wet towel into the bowl of soapy water until it is truly soaked with the aromatic stuff to then proceed towards Billy’s back. Tentatively he places the soaked part of the towel against his left shoulder, when there is no response he takes it as a sign to continue and begins to swipe the towel from shoulder to shoulder before tracing down the protruding shapes of Billy’s shoulder blades. Steve’s eyes idly trace across the muscles moving under the skin ever so slightly and finds his mind wandering to the tan the guy had arrived with, that Californian sun kissed skin. There’s barely any traces left of it.  
The towel traces down Billy’s spine and Steve has to bite his tongue to stop from chuckling when Billy’s back arches inwards and a shiver runs through his body.  
Ever aware of other people’s discomfort, Steve decides now is the best time for a response to Billy’s earlier comment to distract him.

“Careful what you wish for, Hargrove. I’ve seen enough horror to know a nurse is often the opposite of healing.” he snickers as he focuses on cleaning the lower parts of Billy’s back, squatting down to do so. “And it’s guys like you that die first.”

Billy’s shoulders shake in the huffed laugh and Steve can see the smirk appearing over the guy’s shoulder.

“Guys like me, huh? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Overconfident, cocky, flirting with danger. Guy with a reputation.” Steve sums it up like they are well-known facts. Billy laughs a little more this time and Steve shuffles around to his front in his squatted position. Unbothered by the blue eyes fixed on him, he places the towel on Billy’s abdomen and begins to trace it up to his chest when a hand places itself partly over the towel and partly over his fingers, halting his movement.  
Steve looks up, his position placing his head to about the height of the other boy’s chin. When their eyes meet he is acutely aware of the close distance and the mischievous look in electric blue eyes, and that devilish smirk playing on the blonde’s lips.

“Flirting with danger?” Billy says and his voice is a little huskier than normal. It makes Steve subconsciously swallow. “Are you saying you’re dangerous, Harrington? That you’re bad news?”

Something stirs in Steve’s stomach and he’s not sure what it is, makes him feel kind of queasy but in an exciting sort of way. He focuses most energy in steadying his breathing, knowing fully well that if his composure slips for even a second Billy will have him cornered like a predator corners a prey. And when he continues to meet that electric blue gaze head on he thinks that it is as good a description of Billy as anything; a predator, albeit wounded. It is that fact that makes him more unpredictable.  
Steve mirrors the smirk but doesn’t move an inch.

“Why, are you flirting with me?” he counters.

Their gazes hold steady even when it begins to settle in what Steve’s words would imply. There is an abrupt shift in the air between them and like a well-oiled machine they come back to life; Steve stands up to walk over to the table and Billy takes the wet towel over from him to continue washing his front. Steve returns with the dry towel and begins gently drying off Billy’s back. Once he is done he exchanges the dry towel for the wet one which he returns to the table.  
They do it wordlessly.

While drying off, Billy glances over to the living room to make sure the kids are still busy with whatever they’re doing and did not catch on to any of it. Luckily, they don’t seem to be aware of anything going on in the kitchen.

“Lift your arms.” Steve’s voice sounds next to him.

“What?” Billy shoots back before even stopping to think about why. When he looks over to the other boy he is met with a confused expression.

“Lift your arms. I need to bandage you, don’t I?”

With a muttered “oh right” Billy lifts his arms to a point where his shoulders and arms form one straight line.  
Clean gauze is placed on the wounds that are still healing up. The red, raw patches of new skin and tissue slowly disappear under pure white gauze and the more he focuses on it, the more he feels like a freak. The gauze is being held in place by a minimal amount of medical tape until it is time to wrap the bandaging around him.  
Steve begins wrapping it around him after a few instructions of how to start, instructions Billy had received from the hospital before leaving. To wrap the bandage entirely around him, Steve has to lean in close. Close enough for his hair to brush against Billy’s skin and he feels a heat spread through his body from it. His heart thunders in his chest and he prays Steve doesn’t notice when his hand has to hold the bandaging in place on his chest.  
He wills himself to think about other things.  
“All done.” Steve says as he rises back to his full height. If he sees the breath of relief Billy lets out, he doesn’t say anything about it.

Billy stands up and tests his movements. Steve’s done a good job on wrapping him up again he nods appreciatively when the guy in question watches him expectantly.

“Thanks.” Billy mumbles while patting Steve’s shoulder entirely too rough. “I’m going for a smoke.”

“Didn’t your lungs take damage too?” Steve shoots back, hands placed on his hips in that way that makes Billy want to push him again, but not to the floor, preferably up against a wall.

“There’s only so much damage that can be done, Pretty Boy.” he counters before grabbing his pack of cigarettes from the kitchen counter and heading out the sliding glass door, ignoring the muttered, no doubt disapproving, response from Steve.

He makes it safely outside and breathes out a shaky breath once he is out of sight. He’s a little shaky when he pulls one of the cigarettes from the pack and lights it with a zippo. The nicotine rush that first inhalation gives him helps to calm him a bit and he sits down on a discarded lawnchair.  
His brain is a mess. First of all he woke up next to Steve after they had a heartfelt conversation, then the boy proceeded to help ground him through the entire day with his stupid calming presence. Next he saves him from a world of hurt only to end up somehow with a leg between poor Billy’s which had sent all the excess heat rushing down and he thanks his lucky stars Steve pulled away in time to not feel anything happen. Then that banter they had in the kitchen, the moment they had shared.  
And all of that in a single day. If this is what everyday is going to be like from now on, Billy is sure he’ll be dead before the weekend.  
How’s he supposed to push down this stupid thing he has for him and hide his secret if shit like that happens.  
Fuck...he’s a hot mess.

Steve moves into the living room after he cleared the dining table, breathing out a deep breath before flopping on his couch and closing his eyes..

“Honestly, Steve, I don’t know if it’s such a good idea to keep him here.” Dustin says. Steve opens his eyes to see that Dustin is not even looking at him. In fact, everyone is doing their own thing yet some nod in agreement.

“Last time he beat your face in. Plus Max’ stories about him… he’s bad to the core.” Lucas chimes in only to receive a massive punch to the arm from Max. He loudly exclaims his pain.

“Look, guys, I know how you feel about him.” Steve begins, leaning forward on his knees. “But he is not...bad to the core. He is not completely beyond redemption. Last night, we talked about what happened and it’s ok.”

“Wow, you talked to him about that stuff?” Mike jumps up with wild gestures and Steve looks at him as if it should be obvious.

“Eh, yeah, what do you think we do when you’re not here? Lock ourselves in separate rooms until someone comes to visit?” He replies in the tone he takes on when he feels like someone’s being oblivious to the obvious.

“You didn’t tell him about…” Mike follows up but glances around to make certain no one is listening in but the party. “The Upside Down?”

Steve glances between the expectant faces focused on him.

“...well yeah of course I did!” He finally brings out, unable to take the tension building in the silence.

“STEVE!” Dustin yells.

“Are you out of your mind?!” Mike grips his hair with both hands before turning to Dustin. “Why is he even involved again?!”

“Hey don’t look at me! If you guys had just answered the code red… plus he is my friend!” Dustin argues back with a glare.

“Stop it.”

“Oh yeah blame it on us again! Now he knows about everything and he could have still been Flayed!”

“I know, Mike!! I’m not stupid!”

“Stop it!”

“Maybe not but he sure is!”

“STOP IT!!!”

Eleven finally manages to get the arguing boys to quiet down but by then she herself is shaking with anger.

“Look at yourselves! You are friends! Stop fighting. Steve is opening his home to us. We need to be grateful.” she demands switching her attention to everyone in the room respectively. In their eyes the same message is reflecting; even without her powers you do not want to mess with her.  
“Billy has...good inside. Very, very deep inside. Give him a chance.”

“You’ve seen some of what he’s done, El, we can’t trust him.” Mike argues in a calmer voice because it concerns his girlfriend.

“I’ve done bad things, too.” El says matter-of-factly and stares Mike down as if they have switched to a mental conversation. It’s something Steve does not know...and she would rather Steve doesn’t learn about that.  
After a little while Mike sighs.

“You want us to give him a chance? Fine! But we’re not going to be nice to him just like that. He’s going to have to earn it.” Mike says defeated, and as he glances around at the other boys he finds them nodding somewhat reluctantly.

Steve smiles softly.  
“That’s very mature of you all.”

They seem to surge in pride at the compliment. It settles the last bits of tension immediately and Steve smiles a secret smile to himself, folding his arms behind his head. Yeah...pretty damn good babysitter.

There hadn’t been much to discuss so after hanging out for a while, the kids go home before dinner and the rest of the evening goes by uneventfully.  
The entire ordeal with the shower leaves Billy feeling rather exhausted early on in the evening and he retreats to his bedroom before the clock hits half past 9. His sleep is a restless one and he awakens at the slightest noise.  
Somehow he’d had the smallest bit of hope that his sleep would be as good as the night before but he should have known such hope was futile.  
The four nights after that do not get much better. In fact he has returned to his irregular sleeping and waking up from bad dreams almost immediately.  
On the fifth night a storm breaks loose over Hawkins. The town is lit up by lightning and thunder shakes the ground. Rain comes pouring down like it’s the last chance it will ever get.

Billy stares at the ceiling at 3:27am willing himself to fall asleep but feeling wide awake. When twenty minutes pass without any change he sighs heavily and rolls out of bed. Perhaps a drink and a walk around the house will settle him. He silently makes his way to the dark kitchen. Flashes of lightning light his way ominously.  
Billy nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees a figure standing by the glass sliding doors to the backyard but luckily he has grown so accustomed to Steve’s silhouette that his nerves are quickly settled.  
But something is off.  
Steve does not turn around, does not seem to have noticed him at all. He has his arms wrapped around his midriff and is staring intently out the window. From Billy’s point of view he can see the lines of a frown edged into his normally soft features. Steve’s entire body is rigid.  
He doesn’t look ok.

Billy approaches him softly, like approaching a frightened animal. He assumes Steve must know he is there but is not turning around and so, as he reaches a point where he can reach out, he does so.  
His hand moves slowly to graze Steve’s shoulder with the lightest touch.  
Steve gasps, flinches, jumps and whips around all at once and right then another lightning bolt strikes and in its ominous light, Billy can see pure fear in brown eyes.  
Steve smacks his hand away in reflex and staggers backwards, breathing ragged.

Billy blinks, dumbfounded. It’s as if Steve doesn’t even recognise him, as if he’s looking at him but seeing something else.  
The rumbling of thunder draws both their attention back to the window and from his peripherals Billy can see how those eyes widen and then settle back to their normal size as if he expected to see something that is not there in the end.  
Eyes scan the backyard and Billy follows suit, trying to figure out what’s gotten the guy so fucked up. His eyes glide across the lawn chairs, dripping with rain, until they land on the pool and Steve’s voice echoes through his mind with the stories he has laid on him.  
About Barb and the disappearance from his pool. About Nancy Wheeler finding monsters in the woods behind his house. About facing a monster more terrifying than he could’ve ever dreamed up. About being out alone in a junkyard, surrounded by creatures with nothing but bloodlust.  
Billy wants to reach out and pull him away from the window because surely staring out into the dark is only going to make you see terrible things and that is not going to help him, but as soon as he reaches out Steve flinches away and Billy hears his voice echo in his mind again.

_“Got tortured by the Russian army.”_

He’d shrugged after saying that. He had shrugged it off and gone about his business and suddenly Billy’s heart crumbles and he curses himself for not asking more at the moment. The guy had fucking shrugged...at being tortured. _Tortured._

Billy swallows the lump in his throat and holds his hands up in defense.

“Hey, Harrington” he begins, his voice as soft as he can muster it. “It’s me, it’s Billy. It’s only me here, no one’s going to hurt you.”

Steve blinks at him a couple of times before his face screws up and he shakes his head, expression hardening and jawline tightening. Awakening from whatever state he was stuck in.

“Yeah, I’m not blind.” He huffs in annoyance. “The fuck are you doing sneaking up on me?”

Billy has to bite his tongue. Steve has shown him nothing but patience when he was all snappy and angry, it is only right for him to offer the same...or as much as possible from him. Patience has never been his strong suit after all.  
No, he has to remain calm this time.

“You sure aren’t.” He answers non-committal. “Was getting a nightcap. Want one?”

Steve eyes him suspiciously and Billy wonders if they are thinking the same thing; why is he offering Steve a drink in the guy’s own damn house?  
Despite the absurdity, Steve eventually nods and the smallest bit of tension starts to leave his body as he shuffles his way to the living room.  
Billy smiles a secret smile after him and grabs two glasses plus the bottle of scotch Steve had presented him with before their ‘big talk’.  
Steve is settled on the couch and Billy joins him there, pouring both of them about as much as the glass allows him to pour. He figures Steve could use it and when he hands it over and it is being gratefully knocked back it seems he was right.  
He refills the empty glass and this time Steve slows down a little bit.

“How often do you get like this?” Billy asks bluntly and the absolutely scandalised frown he receives makes him question whether he should have worded that differently. But Steve… oh Steve knows what he means and his expression soon settles into a defeated look. Billy takes only a second to appreciate how he never has to explain himself with him. How Steve just gets him.

“...I lost count…” comes the quiet reply and Billy almost misses it. 

“What do you mean you’ve lost count?! That fucking often?? Dammit, Harrington!” Billy snaps, throwing patience out the window. Steve swallows hard but holds his ground. “What do you think you’re doing? Are you getting help for this?”

Steve doesn’t reply, just downs the glass and pours another. Billy follows the example because he needs it desperately at this point. As he drinks, his eyes stay trained on Steve who’s now suddenly trying to sink into the couch cushions.

“You’re not answering me.” Billy growls.

Steve remains silent and knocks back another drink, physically bracing himself and Billy knows enough.

“Oh fucking hell.” he breathes before glaring at the brunette and jumping up from his seat. “Are you out of your fucking mind? You were tortured, Steve. TOR….TURED. That’s not some shit someone should ever have to go through. And you’re not getting help for that? Or for the other traumatic shit you’ve been through?”

Steve does not respond once again and has the audacity to look away from Billy, something the latter is not happy about so he grabs him by the shoulders and forces him to look at him. 

“You got fucking tortured!” he all but shouts at him and then Steve snaps. The glare Billy receives is so heated it has him flinch and he is forced to back up a little as Steve stands up, using the full potential of the extra inch he has on Billy. He jabs a finger in the blonde’s chest, still mindful of the injuries there.

“You think I don’t know that, you asshole?” Steve begins, voice soft yet dangerous but soon that snaps too and he is yelling… he is spewing out his words. “You really think every time I close my eyes I don’t see it happen again and again? Don’t hear their fucking laughter… smell the stupid smell of my blood… see my life flash before my eyes again and a-fucking-gain. See that...that creature emerge from the fucking woods or the pool when I look outside for too long? Don’t you think I would love for it all to go away but who the fuck is ever going to believe me?! My parents hardly believe me when I tell them I didn’t break yet another fucking thing in the house.”

Steve’s eyes are glistening with tears of fury and of despair but he’s fighting so hard to keep them back as he continues to glare at Billy, finger pressing painfully into his chest.

“There’s always some fucking asshole like you who thinks he knows better, isn’t there? Who can tell me what to do or what I should have down. Well tell me where to go, huh? Where the fuck do I go, Billy?! The lab?! Because they don’t fucking have time for the minorly involved like me! I didn’t get fucking Flayed. I’ve not fucking been to the Upside Down. I’ve done nothing worthwhile to them. How about that?! As far as they’re concerned I am nothing! I. am. Nothing.” He draws out the last words to really let them sink in. A single tear slides down his cheek in pure anger.  
“I am nothing. So why did they have to do that to me, huh? I told them I knew nothing… told them I work for the fucking Icecream Parlor but they didn’t believe me! I am just a kid! I’m just a fucking kid…”

His shoulders slump, finger falls away from Billy’s chest and he cannot fight the tears back any longer.  
Billy stares at him, heart crumbling in his chest at the sight of Steve breaking in front of him. This hadn’t been what he had wanted to accomplish but he supposes that it was something Steve needed to get out of his system but the broken shell it leaves catches Billy off-guard and he doesn’t know how to handle it.  
Keeping up appearances be damned… he has to shut off his brain and follow his instincts.  
Steve wobbles and Billy wastes no time pulling him forward into a tight hug and just holds him there; one hand on his back and the other on his head, pressing him into Billy’s shoulder.

Steve stiffens, unsure… but he seems either unable or unwilling to fight. Billy assumes it’s probably both. The brunette slowly begins to relax into the embrace and when the tension fully leaves his shoulders it opens him up to even more vulnerability and soon he is sobbing miserably in Billy’s shoulder.  
They don’t say anything, not even when Steve wraps his arms around Billy’s midriff and holds on for dear life.  
Both of them feel that this is not on the basis of who they are to each other or what the world expects of them. This moment exists outside of society and even humanity. This is pure, down to the core, need for comfort. A need that has not been met in too long.

Eventually, Billy lowers them towards the couch, both of them shifting with the motions to get comfortable without letting go, neither willing to return to reality just yet.  
Billy has planted himself in the corner of the couch and Steve has tucked himself into his side, face still pressed into Billy’s shoulder.  
There is a damp spot there but Billy finds he doesn’t even care as he absentmindedly pats the boy’s hair to soothe him.  
Steve calms down rather quickly after that and soon the last of the small sobs disappear and are replaced by calm breaths.  
The moment stretches into an eternity, the world around them disappearing. Steve is so comfortably warm and such a comfortable weight pressed against Billy. He cannot remember the last time he felt this comfortable. He continues his soft petting and listens to the storm raging outside.  
_‘Let it rage’_ he thinks. It feels like nothing can hurt them.  
Twenty minutes pass by and Steve hasn’t even stirred. Billy moves his head in an awkward position to get a look at the guy’s face. When he does he cannot help but smile.

Steve’s eyes are shut, face completely at peace and breathing even. He has cried himself to sleep.  
Billy thinks perhaps he should wake him up but it doesn’t feel right to do so. God knows he needs his sleep right now and if this is how he can sleep the easiest then perhaps the right thing to do is to **not** wake him up.  
As careful as he can, he reaches over to grab one of the fluffy pillows and use it to prop his own head up to a comfortable position before closing his eyes.  
His body feels so warm with Steve’s warmth and as he closes his eyes and truly appreciates the feeling… he is drifting off peacefully before he knows it.

Steve doesn’t stir until well into the next morning. He slowly awakens to the warmth of the sun shining on his body and of the warmth underneath his cheek and stomach. He is sandwiched by the most comfortable warmths and he honestly never wants to get up.  
A yawn wretches itself from him and he stretches slightly.  
The warmth under him moves and stirs as well and….groans.  
Startled, Steve pushes himself up to blink down at what he has been lying on only to see sleepy blue eyes blink back up at him.

Steve feels a heat rush to his head as he realises he’s been sleeping on Billy Hargrove’s chest all night.  
What….the...hell. As if things could not get any weirder.  
He realises he must have fallen asleep after his crying session, which on its own was embarrassing enough, and trapped Billy there on the couch with him. Frantically he sits up and gives Billy space to move as well.

“S-Shit I..!” Steve begins, biting his lip as he searches for the right words but Billy holds up his hand.

“Harrington.” He says to stop him from speaking and get his attention fully on him. “We can pretend this never happened. It stays between us.”

Somehow Billy knows exactly what Steve needs to hear and he lets out a sigh in relief.

“Ok...ok good because…” He doesn’t realise what his mouth is planning on saying until it’s out. “...you know I’m not…”  
He trails off… but the implication is out there and judging by Billy’s surprised and unsure face he knows exactly how that sentence would have ended.

“Yeah...no, neither am I.” the blonde answers so quickly Steve feels bad. He does not even know why he felt obliged to say that and an unsettling feeling in his stomach makes him feel queasy about it.  
But Billy actually fucking smiles and it’s almost reassuring.

“There wasn’t really anyone else you could have called for a fucking hug. Especially not in that storm!” He says and yeah, yeah that explains everything, doesn’t it?  
Steve smiles brightly and nods.

“Exactly!” He agrees before standing up and stretching out some more. “Coffee?”

“Fuck yeah.” Billy breathes as he too stands up. “Be right there.”  
And he disappears down the hallway towards the guest room he has taken residence in.

Steve stares after him and only when he hears the door shut does he shuffle towards the kitchen and mindlessly starts the process of making coffee.  
The storm definitely explained why he couldn’t have called for help from anyone else, but then why did he feel like he’d just had the best sleep in years?  
Better even, dare he admit it, than with Nancy after the whole ordeal that very first time.  
But it isn’t like that, is it? There is no romantic aspect involved like there was with Nance. He may not have wanted to blurt it out just like that but he meant it; he is not gay.  
The prospect of sleeping on another guy’s chest has never seemed appealing to him whatsoever. Yet it just sort of happened this time and he cannot bring himself to regret it.  
Why is his head such a mess to begin with? This is all rather simple, isn’t it? Billy noticed what he needed last night and selflessly provided it. It wasn’t about who they were and what they were, it was about getting through. And he got through.

But Billy Hargrove did a selfless thing? That is what feels so odd about it. As far as he knew the guy Billy would never do a selfless thing, he needed to be able to get at least something out of it.  
He feels like he should be connecting dots but then the coffee is done and he doesn’t really care anymore.

They don’t talk about the ‘incident’ and things move on normally. A new development however is that they somehow become more and more comfortable with being in each other’s personal space. Gradually it goes from lessening the space between each other as they pass by to accidental touches like a bump of the shoulder when passing each other a little too close, to touching on purpose. Always friendly and playful.

In the kitchen, Billy will place a hand on Steve’s back when he reaches past him to grab something on the boy’s other side.  
Steve will lightly punch his arm if Billy makes a snarky remark to one of the kids, or lean on his shoulder to steady himself when Billy sits at the dining table and Steve places something down on it.

On one occasion in the kitchen, while Steve is doing the dishes, Billy reaches for his coffee mug but accidentally places his hand a little closer to Steve’s side than he intended.  
The latter jumps and makes the weirdest noise and little bits of foam go flying up in the air. Billy stops and stares at him in surprise and Steve stares back both mortified and hopeful. Hoping Billy doesn’t catch on... but he does.  
Steve is ticklish.  
The grin that spreads across his face has Steve gulp and what ensues is a tickle-and-foam fight.  
Billy thinks there might be more noise at that moment than the kids make when they come by but they are both laughing and it feels good.

Nevertheless they both don't sleep well. On some days they will end up falling asleep in the middle of the day in front of the television. Both situated on the couch. They will sleep soundly then, but during the nights the horrors return.

A week goes by since their ‘incident’ and on that Saturday the house is packed full. All the kids are there, Nancy and Jonathan decide to join them and, a little later than everyone else, Robin walks in through the backdoor.  
Billy watches as Steve lights up and rushes to wrap her in a warm hug before offering her a drink. She grins back at him and they both look so relaxed. He thinks he knows what is going on. Good for them.

He pointedly ignores the looks he keeps getting from Nancy who does not seem to be exactly sure what she should think about him but who luckily keeps getting distracted by trying to manage the kids. And honestly, why does she even try? They’re rebelling teens now and will do as they please. As long as they don’t break anything things should be fine, right?  
Billy heaves a sigh and his eyes meet with Jonathan who looks as uncomfortable in this whole social situation as he feels. They briefly exchange a look and there is a silent understanding between them.  
As far as he had heard Jonathan was the town freak but he seems pretty chill actually. Perhaps a little out of the ordinary.

The kids are making a ton of noise, spurting out theories about the Upside Down, about Hopper’s whereabouts and about hypothetical ways in which they would free him.  
The Byers’ brought their Atari and both them and Dustin pull about every game they own so they all end up taking turns playing on that but Billy’s has had enough of the noise.

He stands up and walks over to his jacket where it lies on a chair and snatches his pack of cigarettes from them. He can feel Steve’s eyes on him as he takes one of them between his lips and makes his way to the backdoor and he relishes in the attention, despite the judgement he can feel in the look.

Billy slides through the opening and b-lines for the furthest lawn chair on which he plops down unceremoniously. He lights the cigarette and stares out into the forest.  
It looks oddly calm in the daylight for all the horrific stories he has heard about it. He can see quite far through the trees and there doesn’t seem to be anything odd about it. The only sound being the birds chirping.  
He loses track of how long he spends in that lawnchair, relishing in the silence and calmth. He is vaguely aware he lights another cigarette. Soon after that he hears footsteps approaching him and the scratching of a lawn chair on the floor as it’s being pulled up closer to his.  
He glances over and is surprised to find Robin lounging in the seat, also staring into the serenity of the forest.

“He told me to say if you light a third he will throw away every cigarette in the house.” She suddenly says and the further she gets in her sentence the wider her smirk gets. Billy’s eyebrows rise in surprise.

“Really now.” He mutters before leaning his head back and tilting it to look towards the glass doors and sure enough he sees Steve glancing over with an unreadable expression.  
Billy grins and shoots him a wink which is rewarded with an eye roll before he disappears from sight. The blonde chuckles and shakes his head, settling back down only to realise Robin is watching him studiously.

“What do you want, Buckley?” he asks perhaps a little harsher than he means to, but Robin doesn’t seem to be put off by it.

“Wondering what you’re up to, Hargrove.” she throws back, eyes boring into his skull. He scoffs.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean.”

“No one seems to trust you much. Well, apart from Steve. They act like they can’t read you but you hold the record here for the most expressions in a minute.” She snorts before looking ahead of herself. “So I’m just checking what you’re all about.”

“I’m just looking for some goddamn peace and quiet, that’s what I’m all about.” he bites back sarcastically. Once again Robin is not put off by his attitude and Billy is mildly impressed with her.

“We can shake hands on that.” She responds and they settle in a remarkably comfortable silence for a while.

They stare out into the forest, watching idly as two squirrels chase each other around. However, the silence gives Billy the opportunity to think and overthink and in the end he just has questions he wants to ask.  
Robin feels like an enigma to him. There is something mysterious about her that makes her seem so present yet so far away. Like you think you might have her but you never truly do. There’s something about her that he recognises but he is not sure what it is.  
Screw peace and quiet. He’s asking some questions.

“So...you’re Harrington’s new girl, huh?” He begins casually. He is prepared to hear about anything but the hysterical laughter that follows his questions.  
His head snaps towards her in confusion and her eyes are almost screwed shut in her laughter but she looks at him and there’s something in her eyes that tells him she can see all the way through his soul. There is an understanding there… a “I know exactly why you’re asking this” and it makes him uncomfortable but he can’t drop it now.

“No. We’re just friends.” she says once the last of her giggles die down. He raises an eyebrow at the response.

“And that is so hilarious because…?” he questions directly and without patience.

“No reason.” She says shaking her head with a grin before settling back against the chair.

“Hm.” he hums filled with suspicion. “You wouldn’t say.”

“Because we have fun together?”

“Because of the way he lights up when he sees you.”

“Yeah we sort of became best friends after everything.”

“Sure.” Billy says but he is not convinced and the word just sounds bitter coming from his mouth.

Robin’s eyes settle on him once and he makes a point of not returning her look. Seconds seem to take hours suddenly and his heart rate quickens for a reason he is not aware of himself yet. The sounds around him stop and everything seems to freeze when from his peripherals he sees a grin spread on Robin’s face.  
When he looks over questioningly he sees the mischief and joy sparkle in her eyes as well as something else. Perhaps surprise?

“You have a thing for Dingus!” She exclaims so sudden that his eyes widen and his mouth opens to protest but no sound comes out and so her mouth drops in a dramatic gasp and she nearly jumps out of her chair. Apparently it had been a suspicion but it is now confirmed for her. “Holy shit… you do! Holy fucking shit, Hargrove.”

Billy feels the anger rise in him and he grits his teeth.

“The fuck, Buckley. Are you _that_ afraid of competition you gotta make shit up?” He hisses at her, voice dripping venom.

Robin is absolutely unimpressed and this time it is infuriating him more than anything. She grins widely and shakes her head, looking around to see if they haven’t drawn any attention but they are all alone.

“Calm down, Billy. I am not competition.” she says and the sentence makes her snort.

Billy’s hands clench into fists. How dare she twist his words around, making it sound like he thinks she is competition. Who gave her the fucking right to patronize him.  
He is fuming, absolutely fuming when he swings his legs to the side of the chair so he can lean forward. All intimidation and hostility.

“You fucking listen here..” he begins, snarling.

“I’m gay.”

Billy freezes, anger melting and getting replaced with shock and surprise.

“....What?” he asks as if he hadn’t heard her the first time. Suddenly he feels out of breath and she just smiles at him all knowingly and as if it wasn’t a really weird thing she just said.

“I like girls. I’m gay.” she says again and she watches him so calmly, not at all afraid of his reaction it seems.  
He leans back, rubbing a hand over his face as his brain tries to wrap around what he just heard. All of the sudden he feels stupid and petty and slightly embarrassed by his reaction.

And the world keeps turning around them...despite them. Robin’s confession hasn’t changed a thing about it and when Billy searches within himself it has also not changed his outlook on her.  
In his head he can hear his father’s voice calling all sorts of horrible names. Shouting that it is unnatural and wrong and most of all a disgrace but he looks at Robin and she is smiling and she is at ease. And the world is still turning and everything is...fine.

He glances towards the double glass doors and his mouth opens slightly.

“Yeah, he knows.” she confirms before he can even ask the question on his mind. “And he’s the most supportive person I have ever met despite the fact he had developed a crush on me.”

And Billy snorts because of course he had. His eyes linger on the glass a moment longer before he pulls them away to look at Robin again.

“And you have yet to deny my claim about you.” She says with that infuriatingly knowing smirk of hers that is he becoming much too familiar with.  
Billy sighs and thinks about how he can brush that off. He is not ready for anyone to know about him, he is not even exactly ready for himself to fully embrace it. He can’t have people know this about him because if it came out then surely his world would end.  
He opens his mouth to protest and deny, to try and make it sound accepting of her and appreciatively but still a firm denial.

But he can’t get the words to leave his lips. So he slumps his shoulders in defeat and when Robin nods her understanding he feels like a weight has suddenly lifted from him and he breathes out shakily.

“You’ve worked very hard haven’t you? So no one would suspect a thing?” She asks suddenly and she sounds...sad… but like it is familiar to her.

“Yeah…” he whispers, eyes boring into the tiles beneath his feet.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers back and he knows what it is for because he knows now that she knows what it is like for someone to come close to figuring out such a secret. For someone to rip it out of you. “You know I’m not telling anyone.”

“Yeah, I know.” he says and he honestly does. Just like he would never tell anyone about Robin, and he knows she knows that.

They sit in silence for a while and despite the warning, Billy lights up his third cigarette. He fucking needs it.  
He can tell that Robin still has questions and honestly he has gotten a surge that he can tackle the world, inexplicably so. Because something has shifted between them and he feels that they are friends now for better or for worse because they are bound by this thing. This secret.  
And he would break anyone’s leg that dares ridicule her for it or for anything.

“Ask.” He tells her sternly and it is the only way he can give her his consent to ask the question they both know are uncomfortable.

“Are you fully… or do you go both ways.” she asks first, having the decency to look elsewhere but directly at him.

“Fully.” He states simply, inhaling deeply. His heart is hammering wildly in his chest but he can do this. Chasing desperately after that weightless feeling he experienced initially.  
Robin nods.

“So how long have you had a thing for Dingus.” she asks next and his eyes shoot immediately towards the door as if he’s afraid to find Steve suddenly plastered to it and able to hear everything they are saying.

“The first time I saw him I knew I was fucked. It only got worse after that.” he confesses silently. “Who was your...revelation?” he asks in return because he knows that there is always that one person that really confirms it for you. That awakens those feelings that you just can’t get around.

“....Tammy Thompson.” she says quietly and he hears the hurt in her voice. He’s about to ask why when she continues speaking. “But she only had eyes for Steve.”  
Of course she did.

“Tammy Thompson though?” he says, steering away from the part that must hurt the most. It works, because she grins and chuckles.

“Yeah, yeah I know!” she laughs slightly.

Another silence stretches between them but there is a tension now that wasn’t there before and Billy is not certain how to address it. There is something pulling, wanting something. They look away from each other and Billy is about to make some excuse to leave when Robin speaks up again.

“Do you hug?”

Billy is taken aback by the question and he takes a while before it fully registers and he has an answer formed.

“No...no I don’t.” He says and Robin nods and stands up. He sees the pang of disappointment there in her features and something spikes in him. “But you might be the exception.”

Now it is her turn to look surprised but he pays it no further mind as he rises from the chair and pulls her into a hug. She immediately returns it and honestly it is much nicer than he had anticipated. Perhaps he has been missing out.  
They hug for a while and he feels warm and somehow secure. As they pull away he is even smiling, a gesture she returns.

“I’m glad you made it.” she comments and punches him lightly on the shoulder. However, Billy just pulls a confused expression and hums in question.  
She steps away from him a little bit before going off into her explanation.  
“I was there in the mall, you know? I saw the whole thing too. Was even there when they brought you into the hospital with Dingus and Max.”

Billy’s eyes grow slightly wider in understanding.

“Oh, that must not have been pretty.” he comments with a wince.

“No, you’ve looked better.” she jokes and smirks at the glare she receives. Clearly he did not mean his appearance.  
She begins to walk towards the pool to walk around and back to the house.

“But the hardest part by far was watching Steve try to bring you back to life. Top 3 most horrible moments in my life.” she says casually as if she did not just drop a bomb on him. And when she turns around and sees his face the shock in her own betrays she was previously unaware of it.

Billy freezes in shock as the words echo through his head. Steve tried to bring him back. It’s thanks to Steve he is standing here now. He sinks back down on the lawn chair, not trusting his knees to hold him. Steve fucking Harrington revived him, pulled him away from Death. And the guy hadn’t even told him!

“Oh shit.” Robin says, panicking. “You didn’t know.”

“No…” he answers shakily, sounding nothing like himself anymore. “He did that..?”

“Yeah…” Robin looks down at the floor, memories haunting her features. “Even fought off the paramedics that tried to stop him. Which was a good thing...because it was right after that you finally breathed again.”

Billy places his face in his shaking hands. Shit… fuck. Steve had fought for him. It shouldn’t change anything about the situation but it changes everything and he is unsure of how to deal with it.

Robin shifts her weight from foot to foot in nervous fashion.

“I eh… I will leave you alone for a moment.” she says and makes her way quickly into the house.

He is alone and suddenly the chirping birds chirp too loud and he hates the world for the fact it keeps turning as if nothing has happened but it’s finally settling in that he died.  
Life had left his body and it was Steve Harrington that brought him back. That fought tooth and nail to get him to breathe again. Because he believed in him? Because he cared? Why?  
Whichever it was, he must be regretting having a moment of weakness like that because why else would he not just tell Billy that it was him that had given him CPR?  
Fuck, this is a mess. He should feel happy and grateful to the guy and he does! He honestly does. But part of him is feeling like his heart is being torn out of his body.

The glass doors open with such force that it startles Billy out of his thoughts and he lifts his head from his hands to look over, only to meet eyes with a frantic, wide-eyed, heavy breathing Steve.  
They stare at each other for several moments before they both come back to life.  
Billy jumps up from his chair and walks over at the same time as Steve leaves the door and walks over to him.  
They meet about halfway down the pool and stop with about a foot left between them.  
Billy’s face is all “why” and uncertainty and frustration whereas Steve’s face is pleading and apologetic and frantic.

“I’m sorry I did’-” “Why didn’t you t-”

They talk at the same time making them both incomprehensible.

“You first.” Billy insists, readying himself for the worst. Luckily Steve wastes no time going off into his apology.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you it was me!” he seems to be searching for the right words to use. “I wasn’t sure how you’d take it and… I don’t need you feeling like you owe me anything. I despise the fake kindness people vomit over you when they feel they owe you something.” Steve goes off, maintaining eye contact because he has never been one to break it even if the subject was uncomfortable.

“You really think _I_ would be fake kind to you because I’d feel I owe you something?” Billy snorts at the notion and smirks, trying to lighten the mood. “Bold of you to assume I know how to be kind.”

Steve laughs, relaxing just a little.  
“Yeah, could’ve known.” he replies in joking fashion.

They laugh a little bit together and the tension and the bad feelings disappear from within Billy. It can’t have been that Steve didn’t want him to know because he was embarrassed or regretted anything, if that had been the case then he’d surely read that in his words. Nothing indicates towards that and Billy carefully allows himself to be a little relieved.

“I want to know what happened.” He states suddenly after they finish laughing and Steve visibly clenches his jaw before nodding.  
Wordlessly, Billy offers him his lighter and a cigarette because he knows...he senses it. Steve takes them without hesitation and lights it up before inhaling deeply. Without having to indicate anything they walk to two chairs closeby and sit down.

“So, the monster went down…” Steve begins dutifully. “And it seemed to be just in time too. It looked like it was trying to skewer you. Anyway, it fell down and everything was silent until we heard you scream. I was faster and closer than anyone else so I arrived first. I had to pull Max away and tell Robin to hold her away because you were trashing in something like a seizure. Eventually you stopped, you looked up and you apologized to me....and then just breathed out and went slack.”

Steve stops talking, his voice wavering on the last words as he relives them. Billy bites his tongue and looks away, not down with seeing those emotions in Steve’s eyes. He heard the other inhale deeply before continuing.

“Everyone was in shock and Max...Max was beyond consoling. And it just struck me that your last words had been to me and not to her and that was just not going to happen. A-And you’d apologized but I couldn’t say anything in return. So we went from you beating my face in, to you dying in my arms. And I couldn’t… I just..”

His voice wavers again and Billy instantly reaches out and places a hand on Steve’s knee in comfort. He watches as brown eyes settle on the hand but refuse to meet his gaze. However, his breathing evens out.

“So I yelled at you to get your ass back and I began CPR. Never done it in my life.” Steve confesses.

“You yelled at me?” Billy snorts in amusement because somehow, despite the gruesome details, that image is kind of funny. Steve gives a weak grin.

“Yeah, had to try something.”

“So then what? Robin said something about paramedics.” Billy presses on, keeping his hand as a comforting pressure on Steve’s knee.

“Y-Yeah. I guess Jonathan had told them how long it’d been… and they tried to convince me you weren’t coming back. Tried to pull me away.” a sly smile appears on Steve’s face and he looks up at Billy from his lashes. “But you know, figures you were taking your sweet time getting back and I was right.”

Billy grins back at him before both their faces fall. The blonde searches within himself for how he feels about that. What he should say to Steve. Remarkably he doesn’t necessarily feel like he owes him anything, at least not primarily. No, when he analyses it he feels something else entirely.  
He feels guilt.

“Look, Harrington. I am….” he takes a deep breath to steady himself. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Steve stares at him wide eyed in surprise. Clearly he had not anticipated that response to even be a possibility. Billy looks right back into those eyes and he smiles fondly at the guy before he breaks out into laughter.

“What?” Steve asks, scandalised by the sudden outburst, as if Billy was making fun of him.

“You with your big brown eyes. You look like that baby deer from that fairytale movie shit.” Billy remarks continuing his laughter.  
Steve looks absolutely confused and digs through his memory for several moments before his face lights up in realisation.

“Oh, you mean Bambi?” he questions and Billy nods fervently.

“Yeah! You look like Bambi.” he says with a shit-eating grin and Steve glares him down.

“Fuck off.” He says in a weak form of protest. Trying to steer away from the comparison he focuses back on the subject at hand. “Why would you apologise?”

“Can’t have been easy.” Billy says simply with a shrug. “Watching someone die is traumatising shit but to have to bring them back to life…”

“Y-yeah. I’ll be a happy man if I never have to do that again.” Steve confesses and Billy can only nod in understanding.

“So why didn’t you tell me before?” Billy questions, a bit sterner than his other questions.

“Like I said, didn’t want you to feel like you owed me anything.” Steve shrugs but when he looks back to Billy he winces softly at the hard stare he is leveled with.

“You said something about not knowing how I would take it. What do you mean by that?” Billy clarifies. Steve fidgets in his chair suddenly very uncomfortable and Billy could swear his face seems a little pink just then.

“W-Well, I had to do the full CPR of course.”

“Yeah?”

“So...I eh...well you know, me being a guy.”

“You are?”

“Shut the fuck up, Hargrove.”

They stare each other down for a couple a seconds before the uncomfortableness takes over Steve again and he swallows hard.

“I had to breathe into you.” he blurts out. “I didn’t know how you’d take that part…”

Billy blinks at him for a while until the image forms into his mind and suddenly he understands what Steve was so afraid of, his memories taking him back to that morning they’d woken up wrapped up in each other.  
_“I’m not…” “Neither am I…”_  
Oh. Steve probably thought he would completely freak out and what not. Billy winces inwardly.

“Hey, I know why you had to do it. I’m not a complete idiot.” He says, trying once more to lighten the mood and help Steve relax. Somehow he feels more and more inclined to do so. Steve smiles slightly. “It’s fine, Harrington. Honest. You brought me back to fucking life. The fuck would I complain about? Plus, I can say I got to kiss King Steve.”

The last is obviously a joke. They are not living in a time where such things are acceptable to say. Not really.  
But Steve gets it, he always does. And Steve apparently supports gay people, although Billy is not sure that extends to males, so he is surely at the very least not going to shun him for such a joke.  
And indeed, Steve rolls his eyes and smacks him on the arm before standing up.

“Coming inside? Gotta see if they are leaving the house in one piece.” He says, not commenting in any other way on the joke made.

“Sure.” Billy says as he rises to his feet and stretches himself a little bit.

Together they begin making their way towards the door when Billy is suddenly struck by another mischievous thought. The shit-eating grin is on his face before the words even leave his mouth.

“Oh one more thing.” he begins almost innocently.

“Yeah?” Steve answers and turns around to pay the proper attention but when he sees that grin he is already sighing in defeat and mock frustration, mouthing an “oh no”.

“Who’s the better kisser? Me or Wheeler?”  
Steve glares at him but there is no real heat behind it and it only fuels Billy’s pride at getting a desired reaction from him. He walks past the brunette to open the door and hold it for him in mock chivalry.  
Steve’s glare holds steady, jaw clenched shut until he is in the doorway, standing closely next to Billy.

“Well you were hardly responsive.” he shoots back challengingly and Billy’s heart leaps at the first responses that come to his mind but Steve continues. “But if I say you, will you drop the jokes?”  
And honestly it could seem he is uncomfortable with the jokes but he smirks. He has this huge smirk on his face and Billy knows he is joking with him just as much as he is. It’s too perfect.

“Maybe.” he teases back. Steve mulls it over mentally and takes a deliberately long time to answer before smirks.

“I’ll take that chance. You.” He answers before walking into his kitchen. Billy follows him like a lost puppy, or more like a starving animal and he is grinning. Couldn’t wipe it off if he tried.

“Thanks, Bambi!”

“Shut. The fuck. Up. Hargrove.”


	3. Contemplation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are getting more and more comfortable with each other which is not necessarily a good thing. Perhaps it's time for both of them to think a little about what they want out of their current situation before something comes along to fuck it up for them. Because in Hawkins, Indiana...something always comes along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me ridiculously long, so sorry if you have been waiting to read it! I got stuck somewhere around the middle and didn't know how to continue. But we're back on track!! Enjoy! Hope it was worth the wait.

Patterns on a wooden desk never looked more interesting as they did now while someone is reading through his resume. It shouldn’t be as nerve wracking as it is, he thinks, he is supposed to be the cool and immovable one. Everything was different now though.

It does not need to be pointed out that being possessed by an interdimensional being is not exactly good for your health. There is some internal damage done that will never properly heal, mostly from the excessive bleach drinking. Still, he got off quite lucky.  
However, spending time in the hospital and then not being allowed to move much due to your injuries after being released also has an effect on your physicality, and it pained Billy to say that he was starting to fall out of shape. This was bringing quite the blow to his mental state which had always been a little too reliant on what other people think when they look at him. Finding work, which previously never concerned him, now was a daunting task and he is wondering if he’s up to do it, both physically and mentally.

“Your resume looks fine for a guy your age, Mr. Hargrove. However I don’t see any experience as a mechanic here.” The owner of Tyre’s Auto Repairshop looks him up and down, assessing him. Billy shifts in his seat.  
The owner is a man in his early 60’s and he has the typical rough looks of someone who’s been doing hard manual labour his entire life. The creases in his skin attest to experience and his hands are calloused more than Billy thinks he’s seen on another person. He smells like oil and gas and there are grease stains all over his clothes but it’s in his posture that Billy can really tell why he is looking for a new pair of hands to help in the shop. The man walks a little hunched and with the kind of pacing and footwork that suggests pain if he does not do it in a particular way. Clearly, the years of excessive labour have aged his body quicker than the man himself would’ve liked, because he had the spirit and mentality of a 30-year-old man.

“Eh yeah, I’ve always tinkered with my car. Learned how to fix anything wrong with it etcetera. I know what I’m doing when it comes to cars, sir, I can assure you that.” He answers as confidently as he could. The man nods thoughtfully and eyes him in a way that looked like he was trying to read his soul and his thoughts by sheer force of will. Billy feels scrutinized and it was starting to add to his anxiety about being there in the first place. Still, he holds his posture and is like a brick wall, like nothing can break through him.

“And what car would that be?” he asks professionally but curious. Billy gets a small smile on his lips when he thinks about his car.

“1979 Chevrolet Camaro Z/28”

The man leans back but has a look of appreciation on his face. He regards the resume once more and when he looks back to Billy there is something in his eyes, something like recognition and...a spark.  
“You know what, Mr. Hargrove. How ‘bout you come in for a trial day, we’ll see how you do. If you can do it, you’re hired.”

Billy lets out a breath he did not know he was holding.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Family Video is a deserted place on tuesday mornings. The only sounds being the gentle buzzing of the vending machine and the rustling of the papers of whatever forgotten magazine Robin had managed to find in the office.  
She sits at the table in the office behind the register, feet propped up on the desk as she idly flips through the pages with a certain disinterest yet attention that she has trademarked as far as Steve was concerned.  
The brunette tears his eyes away from his colleague and back to the blank paper on which he starts drawing shapes and patterns by instinct rather than by insight.

“‘The key to a woman’s heart is through her ears, be her shoulder to cry on and listen to everything she has to say and you are sure to pave your way into her heart.’ I might actually throw up.” Robin reads from the magazine as she leaves the office to stand next to Steve. She tosses the magazine behind her carelessly and leans both her arms on the front desk, staring out at the empty parking lot outside the windows.

“Been there, done that, got the scars.” Steve mutters almost bitterly to which he receives a pat on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry my friend, I foresee love in your future.” Robin says with the kind of smirk that has Steve wonder whether she is trying to cheer him up or mock him. “Maybe you just need to broaden your horizon.”

Steve frowns...then frowns a little deeper.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Robin shrugs but before she can give a proper answer they are interrupted by the sound of a roaring engine. Their heads simultaneously snap towards the door and their attention is held there by the sight of a motorcycle, shining black and looking good as new, pulls up in front of the Video store. The person riding it is completely covered in leather which sits so tight around the body that every curve is accentuated.  
It’s a woman.  
And now they are both drooling.

The woman steps off elegantly and Steve swears that when she removes her helmet it’s in slow motion. Blonde, shoulder length curls fall from their contraption and as she shakes them out a little Steve can feel that familiar feeling start to bubble. He wants her.

Robin’s staring too because damn this woman just demands attention with the way she holds herself. She enters the store and festers both employees with a piercing look from ocean blue eyes. She looks like she owns the place the way she stands there at the beginning of the store, seizing them up with her eyes only before she grins, winks, and makes her way to a couple of shelves.  
Robin can finally tear her eyes away and breathes out softly before glancing over at Steve. She knows that look on his face all too well; he’s going to make a move. She can’t blame him for it, if times were different she would have done it herself.  
However, Robin can’t shake the feeling of familiarity when she sneaks another peak at the woman. There is just something about her...like they already know her.

The closer she comes the more Robin can see; the dark eyelashes, black eyeliner, the Mötley Crüe band shirt that reveals itself when she unzips her leather jacket a bit. Robin squints her eyes, gripped by the question of why she seems so familiar.

“Hey you! Pretty boy! Do you take credit card?” The woman calls out all of a sudden, pointing towards Steve who is just staring at this point.

He tries to find his words, scrambles for them in his head but she is so gobsmackingly beautiful that his brain short-circuits.

“Yeah, we do.” Robin interrupts with a grin, shaking her head at her colleague who seems to be turning red juuussst a little bit. The woman returns the grin and nods before returning her attention to the shelves and suddenly Robin knows exactly why she is so familiar.

Steve on the other hands looks lost, not understanding what apparently is so funny. He is about to ask her when a couple of VHS’ are slapped onto the front desk which snaps his attention back.

“Hi welcome to Family Video!” he blurts out like he’s held at gunpoint. “How can I help?”

The woman snorts and looks him over.  
“Give me all your money, Sweetcheeks.” she says with a sudden dead-serious face.

Steve’s face falls from the uncomfortable professional smile to horrified within seconds but then the woman bursts out laughing.

“Nah man, I’m just busting your balls. Just wanna rent these while I’m in town here.” She grins widely and even chuckles when she sees Steve breathe a sigh of relief.

“R-Right! Can do!” He responds quickly, voice an octave higher than he wanted it to be so he quickly clears his throat. “No problem.”

Steve grabs the required forms and begins writing the information down. All of the tapes are either horror or thriller.

“So you’re watching these all alone in your motel room…? Do they even have VCR there?” Robin asks curiously, leaning casually on the desk.

“Nah, staying with relatives.” she answers with a smirk. “But I will be watching these alone.”

“Need someone to keep you safe during?” Steve asks with what he hopes is a very charming grin. The woman laughs.

“Think you underestimate me, doll!” She continues to laugh but then she leans forward and lowers her eyelids. “But if [i]you[/i] need someone to keep you safe..”

“Ok.” Steve croaks out and swallows visibly.

Robin rolls her eyes and finishes up while they are engaged in a staring contest. She places the films and the receipt on the counter and smiles.

“Have fun.” She says and gives her best professional smile.

The bell by the door rings, indicating someone else entering the shop. He walks straight up to the counter and slaps the piece of paper looking like a resume down on top of it before glancing over at the VHS’ lying in front of the customer.

“Stop littering my workplace, Hargrove.” Robin comments with a smirk.

“It’s just one sheet.” Billy scoffs meeting her gaze briefly. Her smirk only widens.

“Wasn’t talking about the paper.”

“Fuck you, Buckley.” He turns his attention back to the videos. “Texas Chain Saw Massacre, seriously?”

“What of it, Blondie?” The woman turns to look at him, raising one eyebrow. He faces her just the same, unfazed.

“Bit obvious, is all. I mean, the leather look, the bike… picking one of the most talked about horrors.” He does not need to speak his mind further, it is clear in his words how he regarded the woman.

Billy and the stranger stare each other down for a while and Robin can barely contain her laughter at how absurdly mirror-like this whole thing is.  
Then the woman glances over to Steve who is grinning slightly as he glances to Billy. She waits for the attention to return to her but when it doesn’t… she heaves a sigh and grabs the video’s.

“I think I’ve outstayed my welcome.” She whips her hair back in a display of disapproval and exits the store.

“Wait!” Steve stares after her all confusion and big eyes, then looks from Robin to Billy for any answers as to what just happened but Robin just laughs and Billy shoots him a wink.

“Another one bites the dust.” Robin begins singing softly.

“Yeah... so anyway…” Steve looks from the resume up to Billy. “How did it go?”

“They want me in for a trial day and if I ace that, I’m in.” Billy answers with a hint of smug pride in his voice.

“That’s great!” Steve responds with genuine happiness for the other guy.

“Did you expect any less, Pretty Boy?” Billy responds with a smug grin.

He rolls his eyes at the typical response, but then there is something of recognition ghosting through Steve’s eyes which he visibly shakes off by shaking his head.  
Robin scoffs loudly.

“Was there a universally sent note that I missed? Is that what we call Dingus now?”

“What?” Both boys say in unison but Robin proceeds to ignore Steve because he knows what it’s about anyway.

“That lady called him the same thing.” She explains, pointing towards the place where the motorcycle had been parked. Billy raises his eyebrows in surprise and picks up his resume from the counter before folding it and putting it in his pocket.

“Really? Must’ve really been into you.” Billy tells Steve before licking his teeth and walking towards the door to leave. “See you at home.”

Steve’s brain short-circuits.

“Eh… yeah, see you… wait...what?” He runs a hand through his hair to make sense of what his brain is telling him, which dots it’s trying to connect. Once again he is all wide-eyed and confusion but Billy pays it no mind and he heads out of the store.

Robin waves after him sarcastically.

“Wait a minute…” Steve mutters to himself but it is loud enough for Robin to hear, who whips around immediately. Does he really get the hint? It wasn’t exactly the most subtle of hints, but to think he may have actually connected the dots fills Robin with a kind of nervous feeling. This could go horribly wrong.  
Is she rooting for it to go right? She has asked herself that question and is not entirely sure of the answer. Most of all, she wants Steve to be happy. He’s her best friend after all so of course she wants that, and the manner in which he reaches that ultimate happiness does not matter in the slightest to her.  
The part of her that she has to hide away from the world to avoid the relentless judgement feels some kind of sympathy for Billy, and all she can hope for is that he does not get rejected and shunned when it all comes out because somehow she has a gut feeling that to Billy...there is only Steve and he will let the guy feel that. At least, as far as she can see. She might have to grill him later.

So Robin looks at her friend all careful hope and anticipation and she’s almost leaning in for the answer when he turns to face her, face filled with curiosity.

“Was she really thát into me?”

Robin groans and slumps over the counter, hitting her face on the surface.

“I’m serious! Maybe I can track her down, or I can call the number you registered her with.” Steve goes to take a look at the sheet with the information on it but Robin beats him to it and slams her hand down to keep it firmly where it is lying.

“You really want to be thát guy?” she asks accusingly.

“What guy?”

“The creepy stalker guy. The guy parents warn their children about.”

“I’m not a stalker.” Steve says incredulously as he tries to pry the paper from her hands.

“But you want to ring up the place where she’s staying. Do you even know her name?”

Steve stops to think, frowns deeply as he is trying to relive the entire conversation to figure out her name.

“Didn’t think so.” Robin says after a long moment of silent gaping from Steve’s side and she proceeds to take the file to the office to store it away.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

They eat dinner together at the dining table, something they have been doing more and more often. They have no idea when it happened but they slipped into the habit seamlessly and it was remarkably nice.  
At first they didn’t talk much, finished up quietly and one of them would do the washing up. After a while they started talking. It started awkwardly with just questions about the day they’ve had, or sharing something they’ve seen or heard. One day Steve is talking about something one of kids did and Billy makes a remark in the general direction of “as if you were any better as a kid” and they end up talking about the past but only ever as far as highschool. There is an unspoken rule that they don’t ask about anything further back in time.  
Nowadays they talk about experiences before they met, and experiences while they knew each other. About parties, about school, about work and friends.  
They take particular joy in roasting Tommy H every now and then.

Dinner and chores is how they start hanging out more in each other’s space but pretty soon they find themselves looking for excuses to spend more time together. Like one will bring home a movie they both want to see. Or Steve might ask Billy if he wants to shit on stupid TV shows with him.  
As far as Steve is concerned it is friendship. It turns out they work pretty well together without the influence of peer pressure even though they are complete opposites in some regards. Billy is fiery and has a short-temper, he resorts to anger a lot quicker whereas Steve is calm and collected and will remain so until there really is no other option. Billy cares a lot about himself and Steve cares a shitton about others. Enough for both of them.  
In a lot of ways their personalities complete what the other lacks, more so Steve to Billy than viceversa.  
After the collision with the Upside Down before the last one they had, Steve had found himself alone. It had marked his break-up with Nancy and when all things were quiet again and it was time to go home, there had been no one there for him.  
There have been nights back then where he laid awake, staring at the ceiling and hours would pass by without him noticing. He had tried to keep himself socially active but his mind would drift and people started to notice he wasn’t all there. It didn’t help his already damaged reputation from losing Nancy Wheeler to the ‘village freak’ and the seemingly upperhand the new guy had gained on King Steve.  
But now, with Billy in the house, it keeps him on his toes and it keeps his brain distracted. Billy’s been through the same shit and it’s creating a push and pull dynamic between them where they can wordlessly lean on each other if necessary but will push each other to go on all the same.  
Steve has no idea when it happened, but he stops hating coming home and starts looking forward to it.

And Billy, well Billy counts himself blessed. It feels like a domestic bliss he has never thought he could have, let alone with Steve Harrington. Sure, it’s not in the way he truly wants and there are occasions where he has to tell himself again that no, he can’t put his arm around him when they are sitting on the couch. Can’t kiss his cheek when he’s making dinner for the both of him.  
Can’t push him up against the front door as soon as he enters the house because Billy’s been alone all day and he got wound up and needs a release.  
These things tend to creep up on him but he’s managed to hold them back.  
Nevertheless he lives in a false version of how the situation really is. He’s secretly living a fantasy, his fantasy... and he’s going to stop fantasizing. Any day now. But it’s so nice, so maybe just a few days more.

There is a line between fantasy and reality. But lines tend to get blurry sometimes.

Billy had landed the job at the repair shop and he’s been working several shifts. Life starts to become more normal. His wounds flare up occasionally, still in the healing process, but all in all, things are settling down.  
Apart from the restless nights. Ever since their last sleep on the couch together, the restless nights had returned and he is getting minimal sleep. It had not cost him greatly yet, but it was taking away some of his observation skills. And so he fails to notice the growing bags under Steve’s eyes.  
On a particularly bad night, Billy rolls out of bed and decides he needs to get himself something to drink. His mouth feels like the desert. Shuffling through the hallway, he rubs his face in frustration. Blinded by his hands, he shuffles towards the kitchen, able to find it without having to see. However, a sound like fabric rustling on fabric stops him dead in his tracks and he freezes.  
Immediately all the muscles in his body are tensed to the max and ready to fight. With laboured breathing he slowly moves his hands away from his face to see what he is up against and he is about to pounce in the general direction of the sound until he sees the shape on the couch and in the dim moonlight shining through the windows he can make out Steve’s figure.

“Christ, Harrington, I almost ripped your throat out.” He breathes in relief and wills himself to calm down. His voice sounds hoarse and he remembers then why he came out of his room in the first place. Billy proceeds to grab himself a glass and pour some water before walking back towards the living room.

“Can’t sleep.” Is all Steve says but the exhaustion and frustration dripping from his voice says more than the words actually do. Billy takes a seat in one of the chairs.

“You and me both, man.” He replies. A sigh fills the space between them.

“Thought it’d get better if I sleep out here. The last proper sleep I’ve had were those two times on the couch.” He explains and Billy hums in response.

“Doesn’t work?” He asks but the answer is clear and right in front of him.

“No. I don’t know what it is and I’m at the end of my rope, man.” The hint of desperation in Steve’s voice makes Billy flinch inwardly. It is enough to drive him to say the following:

“Maybe it’s cause you weren’t alone those times.”

Steve bolts upright and swings his legs over the edge of the couch before fixing big brown curious eyes on Billy. He looks like a light switched on just now and Billy doesn’t know how to feel about it or what it means.

“You think so?” Steve wonders. “I mean yeah, it’d make sense, right? It’s the only thing that is different.”

“I guess.” Billy replies nonchalantly before lifting his glass to his lips.

“Come sleep with me.”

Billy chokes on his water. He gurgles and coughs and forces himself to put the drink down immediately. His mind both short circuits and races through various scenarios he’s only ever dreamed about.

“What was that now, Harrington?”

Steve sports a shit-eating grin when he makes eye contact again. The little shit is more than amused at his reaction.  
“Damn, Hargrove, where’s your mind at?” And he’s grinning so damn wide like they are both in on the joke and Billy has to tell himself to calm down and not do anything irrational. He slaps on his best grin in return and shakes his head.

“Fuck off.” He says back teasingly and wills his head and heart to quiet down. Steve laughs and the sound on its own, so full of careless joy is enough to calm him down and make the world stop for a second.

“But seriously, man. If it’s not too weird for you… I can put a camping bed out in my room or something.” Steve explains and his smile starts wavering as his bravour diminishes. He’s questioning whether this is too weird a request perhaps, feels that it probably is and he opens his mouth to take his words back but Billy beats him to the punch.

“Sure, whatever.”

And the process of thought for Billy has not been any less turmolous. He should be making fun of Steve, should be laughing in his face and telling him “fuck no” and add a word that he’s hated so passionately whenever it got used against him. That is what the person he was would do, before shit hit the fan and before he ended up in this weird kind of redemptive arc.  
But he doesn’t want to do that, and he’s so goddamn tired. Perhaps the reasoning behind this whole idea is not so batshit crazy as he would like it to be.

“Really?” Steve asks and there is a relief washing over him, Billy can tell.

“Might as well test your damn theory. I’m not getting any sleep either, so what have we got to lose.” He answers and shrugs. It’s a classic tactic to push the blame onto the other person. Make it seem like it was their idea so you can keep your hands clean. It’s a social protection strategy he’s often incorporated in his daily life, even though he was always the one to do stupid things, he always managed to make people feel like it was their idea.

Without wasting any time, Steve stands up and starts walking towards the stairs. He doesn’t look back until he’s reached them.

“Coming?”

Billy throws his drink back and stands up, following Steve at a respectable distance. He’s walking up the stairs that eventually lead him to Steve’s room. Flashes of his fantasies dance before his eyes. Of Steve grabbing his hand to lead him up. Of locked doors and lights being shut off and intimate dances in the darkness. Of limbs tangling and the world disappearing.  
Perhaps he’s more soppy and romantic than he’s ever thought, but perhaps it’s just what Steve does to him with his impossibly fluffy hair and brown eyes and his damn kindness.  
He’s caught a glimpse of his freckles when they were still forced to take showers together after PE and the image has never quite left the forefront of his brain.

Steve leads them to a door and opens it wordlessly to let Billy in. The latter immediately takes the opportunity to take a good look around at the room. When he lays eyes on the wallpaper that perfectly matches the curtains he cannot contain the snort that escapes him.  
Steve punches his arm playfully and shoots him a glare.

“Shut up, Hargrove.” He grumbles. “I’m gonna look for that bed.”

Billy hums noncommittal and ventures further into the room. There are photos hanging on the wall by his desk, some of which contain images of his earlier childhood. There’s a photo in particular that has Billy crack a smile. It’s Steve and Dustin, the latter is dressed in a suit and his hair is done to a way different standard than how he normally wears it. They are standing by the Beamer and are laughing like someone’s just told a joke, which is probably exactly what happened. It’s so genuine.  
There’s a photo of Steve and Nancy on the wall too. Taken during christmas, Billy decides based on the decorations in the background. They are sitting at a dining table, happily chatting.  
Billy’s not sure how to feel about the fact it is still hanging on the wall when they are broken up for a little while now, but it is not his place to say something.

“I think it’s actually up in the attic and I-” Steve’s voice sounds through the room as he re-enters it. Exhaustion is back in his voice and Billy can feel what he means to say with it before he actually finishes; which he doesn’t either way because he’s distracted by the spot on the wall where Billy is looking.

A heavy feeling fills the room when Steve approaches and stands next to Billy. His eyes shine with reminiscence and a kind of sadness that is common of a healing wound in the soul.

“I should probably take that down.” he mumbles to no one in particular.

“Why haven’t you? Outta sight outta mind, right?” Billy says, sounding careless about it.

“Yeah well, we had good times, you know? She’s my friend. I don’t want to erase that.”

“You’re talking like a soppy movie.” Billy bites back a bit meaner than he intended and the lack of response in Steve fills him with an awkwardness. He shuffles on his feet a little bit before deciding it’s probably best to just change the subject. “So no camp bed, huh.”

“Eh, yeah. I mean I can go look for it..” Steve’s entire body is screaming _‘I don’t want to’_.

“Nah, don’t bother.” Billy waves him off and unceremoniously plops himself down on the left side of the bed. Steve watches him before shaking his head, shrugging, and walking over to the other side of the bed.

Billy’s heart is slamming inside his chest as Steve climbs under the blankets. The bed is big enough for them not to touch but there is still the undeniable presence of another warm body next to him. He hopes more than anything that Steve will not think of this as too weird. At the same time, they have fallen asleep in each other’s arms on a couch and they bounced back from that easily.  
Regardless of how Steve thinks about this, he knows that this will be the most challenging thing for him, but at the same time it is as close as he’ll ever get to being with Steve and he cannot let that opportunity pass, not even for his stubborn pride.

Steve on the other hand spends his thoughts on hoping this will not get him beat up if Billy at some point starts to feel like this is taking it too far for normal friendship. He cannot remember ever feeling like it was ok to share the bed with a friend, a male one at that, but then again the situation never arose before. He feels a strange nervousness gnawing in his stomach but puts that on the worrying about his fate.

Billy shuffles to get the blankets out from underneath his body to get under them and then they are both lying there, staring at the ceiling not saying a word. Steve feels like he should say something, anything at all but his jaw is locked tight and the more time passes the more awkward it feels to break the silence.  
In the end it’s Billy who clears his throat and speaks.

“Goodnight.” he says in a gravelled voice layered with exhaustion.

“Night.” Steve answers him and both boys roll onto their sides, backs towards each other.

Steve feels the effect of having Billy near him immediately; the shadows in his room stop dancing and mocking him, the sounds that made him jump earlier are now nothing more than natural sounds of the outside world. He doesn’t feel the inexplicable urge to grab his bat anymore, instead his body relaxes on the mattress and his eyes close on their own. He’s not quite asleep yet, but he will forever hold on to the fact that he is, should anyone ask, when he turns onto his other side and faces Billy almost at the same time as Billy himself does. He doesn’t open his eyes but knows that they are facing each other and then sleep grips him, effective immediately.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The theory regarding their sleeping gets proven right and they make the agreement to keep their arrangement going for the sake of getting a good night’s rest. Their nights improve and in effect so do their days.  
The routine is blurring the lines for Billy more and more and instead of fighting it he finds himself relaxing into it. It’s happened more than a few times that he’s had to give himself a slap in the face to wake him up and remind him that Steve is not actually his and there are still boundaries he can cross that he shouldn’t.  
But the way they are co-existing makes it very hard.

It is a friday night and Billy is home alone. Steve should’ve been back already but he figures his shift ran late or maybe he and Robin are hanging out afterwards, something like that.  
Billy ate dinner by himself and turned the TV on at some point but he has no clue what is on. His eyes keep shifting to the window, hoping to see the headlights of the Beamer pulling up. He’s not worried, he tells himself, he doesn’t really care.  
The fuck should he care for anyway? Steve is a big boy and he can make his own decisions. In a huff he turns back to the television and forces himself to hear what they say.  
The clock strikes 11pm when bright headlights shine through the curtains in front of the window. Billy tries to pay them no more mind than he pays the feeling in his stomach of relief and...something else he refuses to name. He feels a smile tug at the corners of his mouth and tries to fight it down. The last thing he wants is to sit there grinning like an idiot when Steve walks in the door.  
Something that seems to be taking an awful lot longer than usual.

The door finally opens with a loud noise and there are some muffled vocal sounds streaming into the house. The door slams shut again and Billy looks towards the hallway with a frown. He’s about to ask if Steve needs any help or something because he appears to be struggling when the other comes into view and Billy’s heart drops.

Steve is oblivious to the world around him, all he is focusing on is the curly-haired, blonde woman from the video store and the heavy tongue battle they seem to be engaged in. His hands rest on her hips as he pulls her in flush against him. Small noises of pleasure and effort sound from both of them.

All Billy can do is stare as he shatters into a million pieces. He should’ve known of course...could’ve known. Steve at heart is a ladies man and this was bound to happen eventually. He just never thought it’d hurt this much. Nevertheless he has neither the time nor the liberty to let any of that affect him when Steve eventually figures out that he is sitting there on the couch. Should be any moment now….right?

Steve presses the woman up against the wall and sneaks his hand under her shirt, traveling up her back with the clear purpose of going for her bra. She doesn’t deny him the access and it is made abundantly clear where this is going and then Billy’s had enough and clears his throat loudly.  
The two break apart and whip around to look at him. Steve’s face goes from surprise to a grin.

“Oh sorry man!” He wraps an arm around the woman’s waist looking between her and Billy. She mostly has eyes for Steve but every now and then Billy swears she looks at him and there is a mean glint in her eyes. “Billy this is Shannon, Shannon...Billy.” Steve introduces.

“Pleasure.” Billy grunts before rising to his feet. “Well I better leave you to it.”  
And he sticks his hands deep into his pockets and walks to the bedroom that was appointed as his, completely ignoring the calls from Steve saying he doesn’t have to leave and that they can just go upstairs but he doesn’t want to hear it. All the while he keeps his face perfectly in check but his ears are ringing and his eyes burn and he curses himself for letting the lines blur so much. He should’ve been stronger. Should’ve been tougher on himself. Stupid stupid STUPID for leaving his heart open like that. Maybe his dad was right, about everything.

He knows deep down that Steve would never reciprocate his feelings and he’s now noticing he’s been playing pretend with himself that he might, only to get a splash of cold water to his face.  
He needs to get out of the damn house. He needs to go away for awhile and calm his head down. He needs someone there though, someone who won’t judge him and who he can actually speak to if he feels the need to.  
Although.. _’talking about your feelings is for pussies... and fairies’_ The voice of his dad tells him.  
He rushes through his room, grabbing his leather jacket and his shoes and throwing both on, cursing himself more when he needs to stop to accommodate the healing scars on his body.  
There is no way in hell he is going into the house again. He doesn’t know where they are making out now and he doesn’t want to find out so he climbs out the window.

No car, no bike no nothing… Billy is forced to go around on foot. He wanders through Hawkins feeling lost and angry. First thing he does is break into the school and snatch away the boombox he knows they have there. Then he finds himself at Robin’s place. He determines which room is hers and starts throwing pebbles at it until her face, groggy and annoyed, appears at the window.  
She opens it and squints her eyes against the darkness.

“Hargrove??!” She exclaims before slapping a hand in front of her mouth and listening to see if anyone inside her house heard her. “What the hell are you doing here?” She hisses.

“Shut up and get down. We’re going out.” Billy grunts back before lighting a cigarette. He looks at her expectantly and she looks back incredulously. They have a silent argument about it for a few seconds before she sighs and caves.  
After throwing on some normal clothes and shoes she lets herself out of her window before walking up to him just as he puts out the butt of his cigarette with his shoe.  
Silently, they start walking and instead of using the normal roads, Billy leads them through a small part of the forest towards the open fields of the farms. Somewhere along the way Billy smokes one whole cigarette and lights another.

“What is going on, Hargrove?” Robin asks as they cross the last open field so far back that no one can possibly see them. “Given everything that’s happened this is an awful idea.”

“Steve brought a girl back.” He mutters around the cig between his lips. He doesn’t look at Robin but he can feel her eyes on him so he shrugs. “Had to get out of there.”

“He told you to get out?” Robin asks incredulously but when Billy shakes his head she knows enough.

“It’s the blonde one from the store.”

“So he did pursue her.” Robin answers, not knowing what else to say. “So what are we doing here? ...with a boombox?”

“Blowing of steam.”

On the one hand Robin is kind of flattered that she was the one he came to even though they don’t know each other that well and on the other hand she is kind of worried by the effect this is having on him. Surely he must have known.

They reach the end of the last field with the forest lying around it. There is a neat pile of tree trunks along with some tools in the far corner and Billy puts the boombox down before walking straight to them.  
He produces a pocket knife and proceeds to cut the rope holding the pile together, letting them fall down freely. Robin watches with a frown.

“What the hell are you doing? How’d you even know this was here?” She questions.

Billy shoots her a grin but leaves it at that. He thinks he’d like keeping her in the dark, keeping it mysterious.

“Help me make a structure here.” He says before placing the pocket knife back in his pocket. “Trust me.”

“Not as far as I can throw you.” Robin answers but sets about doing the task nonetheless.

They start dragging logs to form a square structure, building upwards to create a taller structure. They build as high as they feel is safe for them, it turns out to be taller than themselves.

“Have you completely lost it?” Robin asks at some point

Billy snorts.

“No. But I need to wreak some destruction to calm myself. Has to be controlled destruction though…” He explains and Robin can hear the depth in his voice, the pain. “Figured I’d do you a favor at the same time and let you live a little.”

Robin is about to make some snarky comment back but Billy is already off, having produced a bottle of lighter fluid from his pocket and sprinkling it over the structure generously. She can’t wrap her head around the bizarreness of it all and how she ended up there in the first place. Billy seems to really need this and something in her gut tells her it’s ok, so she refrains from interrogating him for a little while longer.

“Press play and turn the volume up.” Billy says, pointing to the boombox.

“Please and thank you.” Robin grumbles back as she walks over to where Billy left the boombox, her back turned to the wooden structure. She crouches down and squints in the dark to see the buttons and work out which are which in the moonlight. She finally finds the play button and turns the volume to the max. Her brain peaks when she recognises the first tunes of Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love A Bad Name”. She grins a little and shakes her head but the grin fades when she begins to see an orange glow in the reflective parts of the boombox.  
Robin whips around to find that Billy’s lit the structure on fire and it spreads up the wood rapidly, engulfing the structure in bright orange-y colours.

“Are you mad? What if someone sees this?” She exclaims but at the same time she is absolutely mesmerized by the magnificence of it all.

“We’re far enough out that no one will see this easily, and when they do… we’ll be long gone.” Billy says and lights his fourth cigarette of the night. That alone proves to Robin how badly this is hitting him. She found that while he likes going against Steve’s words a little bit in terms of his smoking habits, he doesn’t ever go above two or three because he cares.  
He cares what Steve thinks about him and he absolutely loves that he can make Steve give him those stares that prove the other gives a shit about him.  
But Billy doesn’t care now.

He stands near the burning structure. Warmth and brightness making his eyes water but the heat feels so good. The sensation so unlike anything else and it numbs the pain for a moment, so he relishes in it.

Robin approaches him carefully, like approaching a wounded animal, her arms folded over her chest.

“Why’d you come out?” 

The question catches her by surprise. She did not anticipate him asking the first question and was fully ready to be practically the only one speaking.

“You seemed to need it.” She shrugs.

“So you just go with anyone who shows up at your window. Fuck, Buckley, expected higher standards from you.” He mocks her, she knows, but he doesn’t look like he’s mocking.

“Only with confused, lost little boys who need my expert guidance to keep their life from going off the rails because they don’t have any self-control or worth for that matter when it comes to a pair of big brown eyes.” She shoots back and it is a bullseye, Billy remains quiet for a while as he smokes his cig.  
Robin watches the fire grow, the smell attacking her nostrils and making them itch.

“Why’s this getting to you? You must’ve known this was going to happen sooner or later. He’s been with at least two different girls in the time that you’ve come to this town.” Robin questions him, her voice hard because she is slightly disappointed and annoyed, she realises, that she has to be out here for something that even a blind man could see coming. For Billy to be all like this over it is illogical to her.

“You think I don’t fucking know that?!” He’s shouting now, but Robin doesn’t flinch back. “I knew all along that King Steve could walk into that fucking front door with some bimbo any given day and I don’t give a fuck.”

Robin squints her eyes at him long and hard because he is full of shit and she knows it. A silence stretches out further and further between them until Billy finally turns to look at her. Their staring contest and silent argument lasts for about a minute before Billy sighs.

“I let myself get a little too comfortable with the situation. The way things have been, it’s almost been too easy to forget he is actually never going to feel anything for me.”

“Because you’re living together?!”

He wants to tell her why. Wants to let her know what the past few days alone have been like for him. But he also really, really doesn’t want to. He’s a mess.

“Can you fucking drop it Buckley! I don’t need to talk about this shit, I just need to be here!” Billy yells and in pure anger he kicks one of the logs hard enough for the increasingly compromised structure to reassemble itself and pieces of burning wood come flying off. Sparks fly in his direction and burn small holes in his shirt. He carelessly smacks at the spots on his shirt to prevent anything from catching on fire.

Robin shakes her head but she sits down wordless on the ground while the music is barely louder than the roaring of the fire or the screams of anger Billy releases into the air.  
They stay there until midnight blue sky begins to turn lighter and the fire has burnt out.  
Billy walks in a slow pace towards the Harrington residence. Dread grips his heart while he tells himself he really does need to go back. Where else would he go right now?  
With heavier growing steps he approaches the front door and silently turns the lock. At least no one will be up at this point if the evening had gone as planned for Steve.  
The door opens and closes softly and he tiptoes out of his shoes to keep from making any further noises.  
All seems to go smoothly until: 

“Where the hell have you been?”

Billy curses inwardly, body going rigid before he slowly turns around to face the owner of the voice.

“What’s it to you, Harrington.” he spits back, exhausted and absolutely not in the mood for this conversation.

Steve looks a mixture of angry, worried and relieved and Billy can’t help himself from making the mental reference to a worried parent.

“I came to check in your room if you were still awake after Shannon left and you were gone. WIndow open…” Steve steps a little bit closer before recoiling, scrunching his nose up. “Jesus, Hargrove, you stink! Get caught in a fire or something?”

“Something like that.” Billy grumbles in response and pushes past him. “I was out. Didn’t know I had a fucking curfew.”

“That’s dumb-”

“What do you want then, Harrington?! Get off my dick! Fuck!” Billy exclaims, throwing his arms up into the air in exasperation. “I’m taking a shower and then I’m going to bed.”  
And he stomps off.

Steve’s left gaping. What the actual fuck just happened and why did he get such an outburst? Billy seems to be absolutely fuming. He has to try and say something...anything, just to check if it really is at him. He hurries to the beginning of the hallway leading to Billy’s room.

“Yo!” He calls out and Billy stops but doesn’t turn. “You can sleep upstairs if you want, you know. Shannon went home.”

He’s met with a few seconds of silence which seem to feel like an eternity. When the answer does come, Billy still doesn’t turn.

“I don’t think we should be doing that anymore. It’s fucking wrong.”  
The door slams shut and Steve is at a loss. He is nailed to the ground, wondering where he went wrong and what he could’ve possibly done to deserve this kind of reaction. And “wrong”? Where the hell is that coming from? As far as he knows they have an understanding that what they are doing is nothing weird and is purely out of a need for sleep and mental health.  
The mental and emotional slap to the face leaves Steve’s head spinning as he climbs the stairs to the first floor. His bedroom is empty, the sheets are still in a mess on his bed but he can’t be bothered about that. The silence is deafening.  
With a sigh he pulls the bat out from underneath his bed and props it up against the wall near his bed before climbing under the sheets.  
Business as usual, he tells himself with a heavy feeling on his chest.  
Business as usual.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They stop eating together. Billy takes his food to his bedroom every single night and washes up his own dishes plus whatever is left on the counter. He doesn’t accept Steve’s help with it.  
When he’s asked to watch some TV show together he refuses. Steve has been left in the cold overnight.  
Billy goes to work and comes home but never says more than he has to to Steve.  
Steve doesn’t look forward to coming home anymore.

The decay in his mood has not gone unnoticed by Robin who has to watch his mopey face all day in the Family Video. Dingus seems in a worse mood than she’s ever seen him in. Not even the children seem to completely cheer him up when they come over to make their day a little harder. They’re sweet...but boy are they a handful.  
She sees Steve crack a smile at their stories and their jokes but it doesn’t linger for all too long.

They ask him if it’s okay to have a movie night later that week at his house. Of course he doesn’t deny them anything and so the date is set.

“You’re helping.” Steve says to Robin while they wave the kids out of the store after they have made their selection of movies known to them.

“Ab.so.lute.ly NOT.” She tells him firmly but she already knows she will be there helping because that is Steve’s power; he’ll convince you into helping before you are even aware of it happening.

And of course this time is no exception. So Friday afternoon Robin rings the doorbell of Steve’s house, slightly anxious because she is there with a double motive. Steve has been so down and as his best friend it is her obligation to change that. She has made a few observations that have led her to come up with a likely answer to at least the what of the situation. Now all that she has to do is figure out the why and the how to fix it.

Steve opens the door and greets Robin with a small smile before stepping aside to let her in. She walks into the house, noting the take-away menu for everyone’s favourite pizza place is lying next to the phone and the dining table is littered with unopened snacks and soda. So there is not much they need to prep, good.

“Where’s your other half?” She asks innocently while she looks over the snacks. When she glances over to Steve she is met with confusion.

“Huh?”

“You know.. your live-in. You’ve been practically joined at the hip for the last couple of weeks.” The interrogation has begun. She pours herself a glass of coke to keep herself preoccupied and looking nonchalant.

“Oh...working or something. Who knows.” He answers almost bitterly.

“Trouble in paradise?” She asks with a small smirk. Steve sighs in exasperation.

“Are you done with the damn jokes?”

Robin holds her hands up in defense.

“You know I’m not judging! Just you’ve been acting awfully heartbroken lately.” She says.

“Judging? Heartbroken? What the hell Robin? We are friends, ok. Or so I thought but apparently it was all too wrong for him cause I’ve been getting nothing but the cold shoulder!” He is visibly upset and angry now so Robin knows she is hitting the right marks. But also...she’s hearing things she didn’t quite expect.

“Too wrong? What do you mean, Steve? What was wrong according to him?” She asks but this time she is remarkably nice about it. Steve sinks into one of the dining chairs and rubs his face with one hand. Clearly he is hesitant so Robin gives him the space to think about what he wants to say, but the fact he is this hesitant makes her incredibly curious.

“Uhm…” he begins, voice rather soft and wavering. “Well eh…. He’s been sleeping upstairs and then I took Shannon back here. He disappeared to his room but when she was gone I went to look for him and he was….gone. He came back early in the morning and I told him he could sleep upstairs cause she’d gone and he said we shouldn’t be doing that because it’s wrong.”

Robin takes a moment to process this, pinpointing it as the night Billy came to her.

“Sleeping upstairs?”

“Yeah……” he pauses. “....in my room.”

“Oh..”

“With me.”

“Ooh….?” Robin looks at him in curiosity. Now there is something she wasn’t quite prepared for. Of all the things she did not expect to hear that they had been sleeping in the same bed for a while. “Why?”

“It’s the only way either of us can get any sleep. We’ve tried everything.” he shrugs as if it is nothing unusual.

The puzzle pieces are falling into place for Robin slowly but there are still some things she seems to miss. So Billy, after the whole ordeal, most likely went back to shutting himself off from Steve. That much kind of makes sense to her given the nature of Billy’s character, but Steve...well Steve seemed to be very much more affected by it than she would’ve ever been able to predict.

“Steve, please don’t take this the wrong way but… have you ever been attracted to a guy?” She blurts out before she can think too much.

Steve stares at her, mouth agape and a whole rollercoaster of emotions flashing through his eyes.

“No!” He finally says firmly.

“You took a long time to answer.” Robin points out and Steve’s glare hardens.

“What is your point?” He is clearly angry and it is key now that Robin says exactly the right words. She knows Steve is a very accepting person but she has no idea how he will respond to this kind thing. After giving herself some courage mentally, she sits down in a chair opposite him.

“I’ve come to know you quite well and as your friend it is my duty to report my observations, even if they don’t align with what you want to hear.” She begins and when she sees she has his undivided attention, she continues. “In the time after Starcourt I’ve been seeing some signs in your everyday ehm… attitude if you will.”

“What are you saying?” Steve demands, head threatening to lose track of the conversation with the evasive way she is speaking.

“You display the symptoms of having a crush. A big one at that. You’re excited to go home, you talk about him a lot. Like….a LOT Steve. Whenever he’s in the room you sneakily look at him quite a lot and when you guys make eye contact you are grinning. I know you’re not aware of doing it but you have been checking him out.” Robin takes a deep breath before she continues, which she has plenty of time for because Steve is stunned to silence. “Take away the fact you’re both guys and look at it objectively… and the results don’t lie. On paper it is most definitely a crush.”

Steve makes a helpless noise as he wills words to leave his mouth but nothing much comes out.

“Trust me, I didn’t want to believe my own eyes for a long time. I was like ‘no way in hell’, you know?”

“S-So… you think.” Steve begins and then frowns as if the words don’t make sense in his mind. “You think I have a crush on Billy Hargrove?”

“Ehm… yeah that was kind of the moral of the story.” She answers.

Silence once more for almost a full minute until Steve bursts into laughter. Robin watches him with raised eyebrows as he nearly doubles over in his seat.

“That’s the most bizarre thing I’ve heard since Dustin told me a baby Demodog ate his cat.” He rights himself and takes a few deep breaths. “I am not into guys. And even if I was, Billy is about the straightest person on Earth. All that scenario would end in is me getting beaten to a pulp...again.”

Steve rises from his seat and begins taking bags of snacks to the kitchen where he opens them and puts the contents into bowls he gets from one of the cupboards.  
Robin watches him all the while. Some might consider what just happened to be an absolute failure and something she should feel ashamed for but she knows that she’s planted a seed in his brain now and only time will tell if the answer he gave her was his actual answer.  
Too often has she heard or seen people not actually being aware of their feelings before they gave it some proper thought.

She doesn’t satisfy him with an answer to his words and insteads helps put glasses ready on the coffee table in the living room and place the bottles of soda in a strategic place.

Pretty soon people start pouring in until the entire gang of kids and young adults is complete. Well… complete with one exception.

“Guess he thinks he’s too cool for us, huh?” Max remarks bitterly while tossing some crisps into her mouth.

“Who knows.” Steve shrugs. “Did tell him about tonight.”

“I say good riddance.” Mike comments as he stretches and wraps an arm sneakily around El’s shoulders.

“I second that.” Lucas chimes off.

“Guys can you shut up! The movie is starting!” Dustin exclaims from his spot on the couch.

Steve has taken a spot in a comfy chair in the living room. Leaving the couch open to the Wheelers, Mike and Nancy happily claiming it for them and their partners. Robin sits in the other comfy chair in the room, situated by the window.

There are pillows fights, food fights and a drink is spilled. Pizza is ordered and a second movie is put on but everyone is having a good time, laughing and talking when they are not actually watching. Dustin is giving all kinds of criticism on the movies special effects and how they could’ve made that a whole lot better.  
When not engaged in conversation, Steve finds himself staring at the screen but lost in his own thoughts. Robin’s words echo tauntingly through his brain and he tries to tell them to shut up with all his might. The idea is just so preposterous it’s not even worth entertaining.  
Clearly his brain thinks differently.

Suddenly the front door opens and shuts loudly and it has everyone frown in the general direction of the hallway.  
Voices, giggling and laughter greet the party before two figures stumble into view.

Steve’s jaws lock up and he is overwhelmed with a feeling he can’t quite put a name to.

“Ew, gross.” Max says loud enough to draw the attention of Billy and the brunette girl that seems to be all but attached to his face.  
They break away from their intimate embrace. The brunette stares wide-eyed at the group of people gaping at them while Billy looks into the living room with a cocky grin. His arms are still encircling her body, one hand resting on her butt and the other on the small of her back.

“Forgot about your little nerd gathering.” He snickers before giving the girl’s butt a squeeze, making her squeal.

Robin sighs and rubs her temple, averting her gaze from the obvious show that is being put on in front of her. Her eyes land on Steve and her gaze lingers there. Steve looks like he’s going to be sick.

“Get out of here, dirtbag.” Max waves Billy off with a scrunched up nose. “And keep it down, we’re watching a movie here.”

From the couch Nancy and Jonathan watch the scene just sort of at a loss for words at first but Nancy being Nancy her brows furrow in frustration and she opens her mouth to openly complain but is promptly stopped by a handful of crisps shoved into her mouth by Jonathan after which he shoves the bowl into her hands to keep her occupied.  
When she goes to put the bowl down her eyes land on Steve’s face and she’s confused to find that this seems to be affecting him very much.  
Could it be that… this girl is someone Steve was pursuing? That has to be it right?  
Nancy looks around the room and her eyes meet Robin’s who clearly saw that she’s seen and they share a curt nod.

Billy flips Max off in response and pulls the girl along by her waist.

“Come Rachel, I’ll show you my room. Every inch of it.” He says loud enough for the others to hear and cringe loudly about it.  
The girl, Rachel, punches him in the arm lightly in response to that kind of talk. Only when they all hear the bedroom door slam shut do they explode into a symphony of ‘eews’ and ‘ughs’.

“I need to rinse my eyes with soda.” Lucas says while furiously rubbing at his eyes.

“Oh let me help with that.” Max says teasingly and brings her glass of soda above his head and teases to tip it.

Steve promptly stands up and disappears into the kitchen only to reemerge with an open can of beer in hand and another closed one in his pocket. As he sits down he refuses to make eye contact with anyone and focuses instead on the movie that is playing. Neither Nancy nor Robin make a comment about it and luckily the rest did not even notice his change in mood.

The night goes by uneventfully. Steve remains quiet for the majority of it and basically only speaks when he has to see someone out. Robin, at some point, asks in looks alone if he’s doing alright or if he needs something but he shakes his head.  
Jonathan offers to drive the children home and when the last batch of kids are loaded up it’s just Steve, Robin and Nancy left for clean-up duty.

There is only so many minutes of dead silence that Nancy can stand before her journalistic nature takes over and she simply has to ask questions.

“Steve…” She begins and stops him from walking into the kitchen with an empty bowl by placing her hand on his arm in a gentle gesture.

“Hm?” he hums and looks at her. A part of her, she knows, will never quite get used to him looking at her without that love and admiration in his eyes. Those are tainted now by what she’s put him through.

“I know you and I know what’s going on.” She says and gives him a no bull-shit look. She may be imagining it but he seems to tense a little under her touch after those words but he’s doing a pretty good job of hiding any such reaction in his face.

“Nance, you’ve got to stop butting into my life. It’s not your job.” He says and shakes her hand off and recommences his journey into the kitchen.  
Nancy stays behind stunned for a split second before she bolts after him.

“It’s the girl right? You’re into her!” She calls out.

Steve halts briefly, eyebrows raising before settling in a frown.

“Sure, whatever.” He mumbles. It’s as good an explanation as any for his behaviour and at least he doesn’t have to face up to anything right then and there. He can clean up, send everyone out and retreat to his room to eat himself up over it. He’s not even worried about the dismissive way he answered Nancy. She’s only going to hear that her assumption was correct anyway.

“I knew it. Wow, I’ve never known you to just sit back and let it happen though, Steve. You never let anything go without a fight.” She muses, leaning against the cupboards. Steve gives her a sideways glance.

“I let you go without a fight.” He states simply.

Nancy’s mouth closes and opens but she can’t find the proper response to that. Luckily she doesn’t need to because Steve takes the initiative to speak first.

“Look, I’ve long since learned that not everything should be fought for. Things will just happen, and if they do...they do.”

“Do what?” A gravelly voice has both their heads whip around to the source.  
Billy leans against the wall, a lit cigarette between his lips and an absolutely bored expression on his face. Nancy immediately narrows her eyes and folds her arms.

Steve makes eye contact for a second only before he looks away but not before he tosses a wet rag directly at Billy.

“What’d I say about smoking inside, douchebag.” He says. Without looking, Steve knows Billy caught the rag. He was counting on it and by the noise of disgust that follows it seems his plan worked and Billy has to deal with getting water drops all over him and having a soaking wet rag in his hand without knowing what it’s wet with. Steve knows, Billy can only hope and Steve can just imagine the way he no doubt screws up his nose at it. A ghost of a smile appears on his face which he quickly wipes up. Damn it. Not helping.

“You are never going to grow out of that disgusting behaviour, are you?” Nancy says with a venomous tone in her voice. Billy quirks an eyebrow at her, cigarette bouncing between his lips.

“Nance, let it go.” Steve warns but Billy dismisses him.

“No, no, no. I wanna hear what she has to say.” He steps a little closer and leans down so he’s face to face with her blowing smoke into her face with his next words. “Give it your all, Wheeler.”

Nancy coughs at the sudden blast of smoke, eyes watering but she stands her ground and continues to stare him down.

“Steve was kind enough to open his home to you and let you stay, he brought you back from the dead. You know I actually thought that this whole experience might make you a different person from the bully you were in school. You use people and discard them like garbage! You don’t give a damn about any kind of rules. You have the uncanny ability of making people feel like shit just by being in the room!”

Billy only nods as she’s ranting on and waits for several seconds after to make certain she is actually done and then takes a deep breath through his nose.

“That was not nearly as impressive as I imagined it might be.” He grins and looks towards Steve but the latter is ignoring the situation and getting on with the dishes.  
Nancy on the other hand is getting overwhelmed with frustration.

“You coming in here with the girl Steve is into is just the cherry on the cake! You’re a rude, ambitionless, futureless, back-stabbing son of a bitch!” She snaps and Billy snorts.

“That’s more like it.” He grins, baring his teeth. “And what’s this bullshit about that being Harrington’s girl? Did he not mention the blonde bimbo he shared the bed with only a few days ago?”

“Nance, seriously, let it go.” Steve tells her one last time, putting emphasis on the last three words. She seems to finally get the hint and shuts her jaw tight but it’s clear she isn’t quite finished with him.  
Steve, being absolutely done with the situation, does the only thing he can think of to distract the other hot-headed party and snatches the cigarette from between the guy’s lips before dumping it unceremoniously in the dishwater, all the while keeping eye contact.

Billy’s eyes flicker down to where his cig disappears in the remains of the foam. His eyes return to Steve’s and he leaves the tension to rise for a good couple of seconds about what the retaliation for that action is going to be.

“You owe me a new pack, Harrington.” He hisses finally before splitting his face with that bordering on insane grin of his. “Oh and wouldn’t bother with that girl. Too loose. You’re welcome for the test drive.”

And he walks away, ignoring the disapproving and frustrated stare from Steve and the look of utter disgust from Nancy. Every step he takes feels heavier as he retreats back to his room. He hasn’t displayed this behaviour for a while anymore, thought he’d agreed with himself that it is not who he actually is. Apparently the whole ordeal with Steve has chased him back into the anger at the world that he couldn’t have been born different and the need to hit everyone until they agree that he actually has been even though they’ve not known otherwise.  
He lingers by the bedroom door, hand on the knob, when he hears the voices in the kitchen pick up again.

“Steve, you’ve got to get rid of him. This can’t be good for you!” Nancy says, still shivering after the encounter. Steve only shrugs, he’s learned quickly enough to let most of what Billy says slide down his back like water.

“I can’t just kick him out on the street. Besides, he’s pretty tolerable.”

“Tolerable is not good enough, Steve. This is your home, your safe space. You should be able to be completely comfortable here.” Nancy argues.

They argue on for a while longer but Billy fails to catch the rest of it because at that moment Robin decides to appear at his side with a judgemental face.

“What?” He asks in a more snappy tone than he probably means to.

“You’re full of shit. I saw that girl leave about an hour ago. Nothing happened with you two, did it.” It’s not even a question so much as it is a statement and Robin is not backing down. Billy glares at her and bares his teeth.

“None of your damn business.” He hisses.

“At this point, why don’t you just come clean to him and make it easier on everyone, huh?” She questions with a harsh, annoyed tone.

“I’d rather shoot myself in the face.” Billy scoffs. “Now get lost, I’m going to bed.”

“Yeah, have fun not being able to sleep.” Robin rolls her eyes and walks away in a huff. This whole ordeal is getting much more under her skin than she’d anticipated.

Billy glares after her. What the hell does she know anyway. What do any of them know? Fuck them all, he doesn’t need anyone.  
And while he viciously repeats those words in his mind he retreats into his bedroom.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is the day after the movie night and Robin is dusting the shelves of the Family Video. It is so early in the morning on a saturday that most of Hawkins is not even awake yet. Every so often her eyes drift to the empty parking lot in silent admiration of the serenity of these early hours. The store doesn’t open for another hour but there were some tasks that need handling before they can even open and Robin is usually the one to take these upon herself as she is the only one who doesn’t have as big of a problem with getting up early on weekend days. The radio is blasting music softly and she hums along to a song. The soft tones of the ballad playing across the speakers are rather suddenly overshadowed by the roaring of an engine approaching.  
Frowning, Robin looks up and out of the glass doors to see who could be so inconsiderate on a saturday morning. To her utter surprise she sees a familiar BMW Beamer speeding towards the front of the parking lot where it is parked in a hurry and with screeching tires.  
She leaves the rag on the shelf and moves to the door to open the lock and hold the door open.

Steve exits his car looking disheveled and like he hasn’t slept all night. His eyes show a great torment and haunting and for a moment Robin fears it may all be happening again and he is here to tell her those creatures have returned and this time they only wait for the worst.

“Sorry I’m late!” Steve bursts through the doors of the store, his voice sounds nothing like the tone Robin is used to. “But we have a problem.” 

Her heart rate picks up as she closes the door and locks it again, peering out across the empty streets but so far no sign of anything else coming their way.

“It’s eight in the morning, Steve. What do you mean you’re late?” She asks him first of all, turning around to fix him with a stern don’t-bullshit-me-now look.  
Steve blinks as he looks around the store, shoulders lowering and he looks kind of lost.

“I’m not? Huh…” He shakes his head clear of his confusion. “Anyway, it’s about that thing you talked to me about yesterday.” Steve continues and he’s starting to sound more unsure with the second.

Robin looks lost for a moment, still trying to recover from the shock her own mind induced by thinking it might be something much more dire. She has to force herself to take a few steadying breaths. She starts digging through her memory to find the specific conversation he means. They talk a lot… but she is starting to have an inclination to what he means. Still, she doesn’t dare to make an assumption and figures she’ll be able to piece it together by what else he has to say.

“Yeeah… what about it?” she answers with all the conviction of someone who knows exactly what is going on.

“I kept thinking about it, you know… about how ridiculous it is. A-and then…” Steve shifts his weight from foot to foot before stepping closer to Robin and continuing on a hushed tone as if there is anyone else there who could possibly hear them. “And then he came home with that girl and I just felt sick. Couldn’t explain it. Then Nancy gave me a hard time for keeping him around which was total bullshit so I told her that. She riled me up with it though and so when I went to bed…”

Steve trails off and Robin looks at him expectantly. When he doesn’t continue she leans in a little as well, folding her arms over her chest. Steve won’t meet her eyes and chooses instead to look out into the parking lot.

“Well?” She asks impatiently.

“Well..” He repeats, rubbing the back of his neck before running a hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. “I couldn’t get to sleep...didn’t even dare close my eyes.”

Robin has to bite her tongue hard to keep herself from laughing or smiling because she suddenly has a feeling where this story is going and part of her finds it absolutely hilarious.

“What eh…” she recomposes herself for a moment when she notices her voice wavering. “Why not, Dingus?”

“I eh…” Steve visibly takes a deep breath to steady himself. “L-Let’s say I was afraid I would have a bad dream...about Billy. A _bad_ dream.” He finally says, trying to emphasise the word “bad” as if that makes it much clearer.

“Like a nightmare?” Robin asks, playing dumb.

“Well.” Steve begins to answer then stops to think about it. “Not necessarily...I think. I don’t know!!”

“You are making less sense than usual.” Robin comments and smirks at the glare she receives.

“I….I’ve been having these thoughts about him… thoughts I’m not supposed to have.” Steve tries, growing increasingly more uncomfortable. Robin cannot watch this struggle any longer and decides that she will be generous and help him out of his misery.

“You have a crush on Hargrove!” she states as if it is the most normal thing in the world but the mini freak-out on Steve’s face says it is anything but normal.

“Will you shut up! You’re being unreasonable and ridiculous.” he exclaims in frustration.

Robin places a hand on his arm in a comforting manner and shushes him gently. She guides him to the back of the store where she sits him down and grabs him a glass of water.

“Calm down, Dingus. I get it, you’re freaking out. Probably never expected something like this but it’s alright! You just have to work through the shock.” she says in an attempt to calm him down.

“You got in my head, you know. That’s what happened! You and Nancy. And...and I finally got some just recently so that was all fresh and... you know... brain stuff happened.” Steve says at rapid speed.

“That may be true.” Robin admits, nodding. “Most likely that is the case. We can figure out together whether you just got worked up or whether this is something else, ok?”

Steve takes a couple of deep breaths and visibly relaxes a little knowing he doesn’t have to face this all by himself. At least he can rely on Robin. He nods in response.

“Good.” She says, clapping in her hands. “Now let’s shove some underwear models in your face and see how you feel.” Robin’s grin turns more wicked than anything.  
Steve’s expression instantly changes to an “are you serious” one.

A couple of hours pass by in which Robin has made several sneaky and teasing attempts to shove pictures of men under Steve’s nose. All of which he has pushed away with annoyed glances. He knows she’s just teasing him but his level of discomfort steadily rises as time progresses and he feels at a complete loss.

“Tell me though, Steve. Have you ever looked at another guy and appreciated the way he looks?” Robin asks as she slumps on the desk, propping her head up on her hand.

“Not more than anyone else.” He replies with a shrug, refusing to look away from his current job of placing a bunch of stickers on new arrivals.

“But have you ever admired specific parts like….” she trails off in thought for a second or so before continuing. “His lips...his ass.”

Steve breathes in deeply through his nose, like he’s trying not to lose his cool.

“Or is it just Hargrove’s lips and ass?” Robin pokes with the meanest grin he’s ever seen on her.  
In retaliation he slaps the next sticker right over her mouth.

“You are supposed to help me!” He argues.

“Help with what?”

Steve whips around, half wondering why he hadn’t heard the damn bell at the entrance, and comes face-to-face with the guy who’s messed everything up for him.  
Steve gulps.

“Ahoy there!!” He blurts out louder than he should have done and he curses himself inwardly.

Billy and Robin both give him a weird look.

“What’re you doing here?” Steve asks after clearing his throat in a normal volume this time.

Billy has been standing in front of them with his hands stuffed into his pockets, eyeing the weird situation with much suspicion. Instead of answering the question verbally he simply takes one of his hands out of his pockets and drops a set of keys on the desk.  
Steve looks down at them as if they are foreign to him until realisation dawns.

“You forgot your house keys.” Billy says.

“Oh...thanks.” Steve replies almost awkwardly and takes the keys before shoving them into his pockets. They stand there looking at each other for a little while and the silence that was once comfortable between them is now nerve wracking and awkward. Steve feels his whole body react weirdly and his throat goes dry.  
In the meantime Robin pulls the sticker off of her mouth with a noise of discomfort which captures both their attention and Billy cracks a smile.

“Should’ve left that on, Buckley. Suits you better.”

“Original.” Robin replies, calling him out.

“I better get going.” Billy says, turning his attention to Steve and shrugging. “Work.”

“Oh, yeah. Good. Ehm, see you at home.” Steve replies quickly and watches the other guys leave. Only when he hears the jingle of the bell at the door does he relax and deflate. He slumps over the desk.

“You need more professional help than I can give you.” Robin grins and pats him on the back sympathetically.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Billy doesn’t quite feel like himself. Hadn’t before he went over to bring Steve his keys, and it doesn’t get any better afterwards. He finds his outlet in his work, burying himself in a rattling engine and working his magic. He’s always had a knack for mechanics and working in a repair shop only proves that more. Engines are something he can work with. They work one way and if something doesn’t work, he can name it and fix it. It’s easier than dealing with anything else in his life.  
The day goes by faster than he anticipated, and faster than he wanted it to. It’s nearing the end of his shift when he closes the bonnet of an old pick-up truck. Grabbing the cloth from his belt he wipes his grease-stained hands on it and walks around the car for a last inspection when he sees them; two sturdy looking guys watching the repair shop from across the street. Billy gets an immediate sense of trepidation and makes it a point to not openly stare.  
They have a certain look about them as if they are not from around there. They stand out like a sore thumb.  
What really gets Billy’s senses kicking into survival mode is the glimpse he gets of the gun stuffed in one of the men’s trousers.  
He takes a deep breath and slowly, and deliberately, stores his tools away. It feels like the men are focused on him, but that can’t be right? Why would they? Billy doesn’t even know them, yet the paranoia doesn’t ease up.

He’s just about to toss the dirty rag he used for his hands into the laundry bin near the office when he’s hit by a demobilizing wave of pain. It’s coming from the healing scar in his chest and Billy’s eyes widen as he grits his teeth to keep from crying out. He doubles over and grips at the shirt where it lays on the scar. Why of all times to get a sort of relapse...why does it happen now.  
He breathes heavily and uses the wall in front of him to pull himself upright. His face turns to the side, to look outside the repair shop as if his attention is forced to turn there. To his utter horror he sees the two men say something to each other and then they are suddenly walking straight towards him with big strides. Shit...shit shit shit!  
Billy hurries himself towards the back of the repair shop, eyes fixed on the door that will lead him out to something a little safer than where he is now. A door he is allowed to enter through as an employee but is sure to get attention when the other men try to go through. At least someone will see something’s up.  
Sweat beads on his forehead as he fights the flecks of light dancing in his vision while the pain reigns wildly in his body. He’s almost there! Just a few feet. He’s going to make it.

“Well well well.”

That voice.... That voice instantly makes him break out in cold sweat on top of anything. His stomach drops and he suddenly feels sick. That voice pins him in place just an arms length away from the door but there’s nothing he can do. His heart races in his chest, slams against his ribcage and he wishes he could just faint or something. Stop the pain, stop the discomfort and stop this nightmare he’d suddenly entered.  
But Billy swallows around the lump in his throat and slowly turns, back against the wall, to stare into the hateful eyes of his father.

“And this is where I find you.” Neil spits, face contorting in barely contained rage. Billy sees the muscles tighten underneath Neil’s jacket. He knows this mood all too well. “Heard you had an accident. Barely survived or some shit. Next I know your stuffs gone and you left us where we are. You too good for us now?”

Billy knows he is required to answer but between the pain and the fear he cannot get his vocal cords to make a noise. He stands frozen, breathing heavily, feeling the sweat roll down his back. His muscles tremble but he prides himself in the fact that he doesn’t look away.  
In his peripherals the two men come into view but they stop when they see the interaction. Alright, so they don’t want any witnesses. Billy stores that fact away safely.

“I’ve given you everything! A roof over your head, food on your plate! I did more for you than your whore of a mother ever did and this is how you repay me?” Neil continues his assault but then pauses and looks Billy over. And Billy just knows it’s about to get worse. “Or can you finally live out your pathetic faggot life.”

It isn’t even a question, he [i]states[/i] it. Neil’s words cut like a knife right in all the sensitive areas Billy tries so hard to cover up but it helps him find his voice at the very least. He’s not going to let it go by quietly this time. He might not be able to stand up to him just yet, but there will be no more “yes sir” and “no sir” coming from him.

“Get...out of my...face.” Billy says, voice strained with effort but his eyes spit the fire that burns within. “I don’t have time for you.”

Before his eyes he watches Neil snap. He sees it break in his father’s eyes but it’s not enough time to brace himself.  
Neil attacks, viciously, with his words and his fist. He punches Billy three times in the same spot dangerously close to the temple. Billy’s on the ground after the first hit and tries desperately to block it. His ears ring loudly but it’s not loud enough to hear himself getting called every name in the book.  
A boot to the ribs has him coughing and gasping and he wonders why no one is helping him but then he realizes that the others have left already and it’s only him and the boss left. The boss...who’s losing hearing about as quickly as he’s losing his hair and who’s locked in his office which is out of sight.  
No one’s coming. Billy’s pretty sure this is it.  
He’s also pretty sure he’d preferred to have died at the hands...or well tentacles… of the Mind Flayer.

Black spots dance in his vision and it takes a moment to realise that the assault has stopped and he hears a different voice. A higher pitch. There’s panic and ruckus all around him and it hurts his head.  
Then he hears his name called in a familiar voice and in a rush all his senses come back to him. The oversensitivity ebbs away slowly and he can bear to open his eyes.  
Max sits at his side, calling his name, tears streaming down her face.

“What are you doing here?” Billy asks with a rough voice.

“We were out in the city, he took us all out.” Max explains and Billy understands what must have happened, so he nods carefully. Neil had taken his ‘family’ out into the city and must’ve seen him working. His mistake was that Max had seen him go over to the repair shop. She knows Billy works there… and she knows what Neil is capable of. Max had gotten help somewhere.

“Hey, sweetie, how’re you feeling?” A soft, motherly voice reaches his ears and he turns to see Joyce Byers leaning over him with a concerned expression.

“Could be better.” Billy replies and he slowly begins pushing himself to a sitting position. His ribs don’t feel cracked, his face throbs but that’ll pass. His scars a flaring heat angrily but overall he seems functional which is a miracle of its own.  
His eyes roam all over the place until he finds one of the things he’s looking for: his dad is being shoved into a police car and a sense of relief and of fear washes over him. This feels like the beginning of forced contact with his father. Great.

But the other thing he is looking for does not come into view so he turns to Joyce.

“Two men, black BMW, sporting a gun. Didn’t look local. Did you see them? Parked across the street.” He asks because he knows the Byers’ mom is the one to trust in all this crazy bullshit. She practically knows about everything… is at the frontline of everything.

Joyce frowns at him and glances to the spot Billy refers to and then slowly shakes her head.

“Haven’t seen anything.” She turns her attention back to him but her frown is serious now, like she suspects something. “What do you mean they don’t look local? Not from Hawkins? Or not from this country?”

“The latter.”

“What did they look like?” the urgency in her voice catches Billy off guard. He had hoped she would tell him not to worry about it, that it was nothing.

“I don’t know.” He answers and looks over to Max who looks completely confused and disheveled but also seems to understand the urgency.

“Did they look….slavic?” Joyce tries and waits patiently for Billy to consider it.

Billy thinks about it. Recalls what they looked like and what he knows of Slavic people and typical bone structures or other similarities.

“Yeah...they did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little on the softer side all things considered but next chapter is going to kick it up a notch or ten.


	4. "Podozhdite"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things in Hawkins never stay quiet for long and this time trouble's heading straight for our former Scoopers. They'll have to face that they are not going to be regarded as children by their opponents and fight for their survival. Nothing brings out your priorities like a good dose of fear though.

It’s twilight when Steve steers his car onto his street and the first thing that captures his attention is the tell-tale blue flashing lights of a police car.  
It doesn’t travel across the houses or trees so it must be parked somewhere in the street. Huh...weird.  
As he approaches the light, and his house he quickly realizes that they are in the same location.  
There is a fucking police car parked in front of his house along with another car.  
Wait, is that Joyce Byers’ car?

A sense of dread comes over Steve as he pulls into his driveway quick and careful with enough space for both cars to eventually leave. Because he assumes they will eventually leave. He climbs out and catches the judgemental looks from his neighbours where they stand in their front yard to assess the situation.

“Yeah yeah, enjoy the show.” He bites at them, instantly in a foul mood. The nerve of some people.

With a rapidly beating heart he rushes into his house of which the front door is open. He dumps his stuff on the floor of his hallway and finds two broad-shouldered police officers blocking his view so he bustles past them to see what the fuck is going on and what they are looking at.

He finds Billy on the couch, sitting forward and resting his arms on his knees. Max is seated next to him and presses a dishtowel filled with what Steve assumes to be ice to the side of Billy’s face.  
Steve can see the edges of a bruising and a little bit of crusted blood.

Billy doesn’t seem to notice him. Either that or he refuses to meet his gaze which gets Steve somehow more on edge than the fact there are so many people in his house before he even heard of anything.  
He looks around and finds Joyce in the entry to the kitchen and rushes over to her.

“What the hell is going on?” He hisses which was really supposed to be an attempt at a whisper but didn’t come out that way.  
Joyce looks him in the eyes and he immediately feels the sense of urgency she portrays.  
Silently she beckons him into the kitchen like she owns the place and the head to the furthest side of the space.

“I don’t mean to alarm you, sweetheart, but there’s a big chance the Russians are back.” At least she doesn’t beat around the bush.

Steve’s legs give a dangerous wobble and he feels his blood run cold. Memories of being stuck in the Russian army base...and the torture… rush back to him and hit him like a freight train but he manages to hold his ground. Taking a deep, shaky breath, he straightens himself.  
Joyce places a comforting hand on his shoulder. She’s been down there too, she knows what it looks like and she’d seen what they did to him… or at least how he looked when he came out of it.

“I know, sweety, I know.” He tries to soothe him. “We’ll figure something out. You’re going to be alright.”

Steve nods slowly. Whether he fully believes her is up in the air for now but he can at least deflect and distract himself by focusing on the situation at hand.  
He waves his hand in the direction of the living room.

“So this…?” He asks, not sure how to formulate the entire question.

“The police don’t know about it. Billy’s seen them camped out across the repair shop. They started approaching him but something got in the way.” Joyce explains glancing over periodically to the living room.

Steve looks between her and the situation in his house and pieces together what’s being explained to him.

“So the Russians didn’t do…[i]that[/i]?” He asks, clearly referring to the need of an icepack on Billy’s face.  
Joyce’s face sours and she solemnly shakes her head.

Well it isn’t exactly unlike Billy to get into a fight. The guy has some serious anger management issues that have yet to be resolved but even despite that there is a feeling gnawing at Steve’s gut that fills him with dread. Maybe it is the fact that Billy looks so broken, not just on the outside, that lets Steve know this wasn’t just a random fight.

Without another word he walks back into the living room.

“...so we’ll be in touch and we’ll keep you informed.” one of the officers finishes up. Billy only nods dully. It is enough for the officers to recognize as a proper answer and they bid everyone a goodnight before heading out the door.

Steve sits down slowly on the coffee table, as if afraid to stir the situation the wrong way or something. He’s right in front of Billy now, their knees inches from each other.  
Billy still will not look him in the eyes or even properly acknowledge him and Steve sees it for what it is; shame.

“Your dad…” Steve says because he doesn’t need to ask, he just knows. Billy squeezes his eyes shut and Max gives Steve a pained look and it confirms it even more.

Anger bubbles deep in Steve’s gut and his hands shake softly with it when he balls them into fists.

“Where is he?”

“They arrested him.” Max says and her voice is rough, like she’s been crying. [i]Like she was there.[/i]  
Shit...she was there wasn’t she?

“Did he hurt you?” Steve asks Max directly, worry lacing through anger. Max shakes her head slowly.

“No. We were out and he saw Billy. He didn’t know I am in contact with him and know where he works, so when he excused himself and headed to the repair shop….” Max took a deep, shaky breath. “I ran to Melvald’s and they called the police.”

“You did great, Max.” Steve says, softer now, complimenting her to hopefully soothe her a little but it’s no lie; she did do great. “That was some real quick and clever thinking.”

Max sends him a weak but grateful smile.

Billy still doesn’t reply to anything and he doesn’t move, not even when Steve continues to sit with him and tries to make eye contact. He would have remained with him but there are still questions plaguing Steve’s mind and he wants answers to them sooner rather than later. Slowly, he rises to his feet and moves back towards the kitchen. He motions for Joyce to indicate he wants to talk to her alone and together they move towards the back of the kitchen.

“Do you think they know where we live?” Steve asks upfront, nerves making him fidgety and he shifts his weight repeatedly from one foot to the other.  
Joyce takes a moment to consider it, and swallows.

“I don’t know.” She answers honestly, but it makes Steve’s concern all the bigger. “They know who we are, after...you know... last time. It’s not out of the question they could’ve found out where we all live.”

“That’s kind of what I’m worried about.” Steve says, sighing. “What if they come here next? And at the end of the day it’s just the two of us here. We don’t stand a chance, do we?”

“You just gotta be careful for now. We need to figure out what to do. Maybe they’re not here for either of you. If it turns out they are we’ll need to find you a safer place to stay.” Joyce says, all business. The events of the last three years had hardened her, that much was clear. “I have a couple of ideas I’ll set in motion. In the meantime you’ve got to be ready for anything.”

The last sentence she said sounded like a warning and Steve swallows before nodding. She was right… he had better prepare.

Joyce leaves soon after, having to get back to her family, but she promises to check in on them regularly.  
They agree on a code that they can call through to each other as a warning that something is coming or something is happening. A code they can’t immediately figure out if someone happens to be tapping their phones.

Max wants to stay but when she calls her mother to let her at least know she is okay, she can hear that her mother is not doing so well. With Billy out of the house and Neil arrested she is all alone and it’s a little too much for her to bear but Max is not so easily swayed. First of all, she doesn’t want to leave Billy like this. Second of all, she doesn’t want to have to listen to any whining about the situation.  
However Steve assures her that he’ll keep an eye on Billy and that she should go home and be there for her mom. He has to tell her it’s alright about four times before she shows any signs of budging and while she still doesn’t see why she needs to be the one comforting her mom when she’s gotten herself into this mess, Max sucks it up and asks Joyce for a ride home.

Steve stands in the living room, feeling a little lost. What is he supposed to do? The responsibility comes down to him because Billy, as of right now, is completely useless.  
He decides to close all the blinds and use minimal lighting in the house. He lights some candles in favour of the bright lights.  
There is something that still gnaws at him. When he had been stuck in that Russian base what stood out a lot to him was how all of them carried guns. [i]Big guns[/i]. If these guys are in any way connected to the soldiers he has come across then they’d no doubt be sporting guns of some kind too.  
He was pretty sure that in close hand-to-hand combat the situation would be tipped a little more in his favour, especially if he had his trusted bat by his side… but you can’t bring a bat to a gunfight.  
His eyes shift to the door that leads to his father’s office and suddenly his feet feel impossibly heavy. Nevertheless he fights his way to the door with a purpose and opens it.  
The scent of dust and paperwork hits him immediately and it makes him sick. Not that he doesn’t like the scent, but the occasion makes him very sensitive to it.  
He shuffles towards the desk and kneels down to reach the lowest drawer.  
The drawer opens and the dim lighting catches on a partly shiny object stored within.  
Steve’s heart slams against his ribcage and with shaking hands he reaches in and lifts up the object.

It’s his dad’s gun.

If evil Russians might be lurking around the corner he needs to up his game. These people showed no remorse, as he’s experienced first hand. He has no doubt they’d shoot him on the spot if they could and if the situation called for it. Steve knows he has to shoot first in that case.  
He checks the magazine for bullets and loads it up with the ones he finds further in the back of the drawer.  
Checking if the safety is on, he stuffs it under his belt at his backside.  
The gun weighs heavy and Steve has a moment in which he thinks it might be weighted by the lives you could potentially claim with it.

He moves back into the living room and fixes his attention on Billy, who still hasn’t moved an inch.

“You hungry?” Steve asks out of habit.

Billy slowly shakes his head.

“Yeah neither.” Steve huffs and without another word he sits down on the couch, in the spot where Max had previously sat.  
Billy is holding the ice pack to his head himself and it obstructs Steve from seeing how bad it is so the latter reaches his hand up tentatively. His fingers slide carefully over Billy’s hand, who flinches briefly but makes an effort to relax immediately afterwards. Steve slides his fingers smoothly across Billy’s fingers, trying not to linger on the tingling feeling it gives, and slowly takes over the hold on the ice pack.  
Billy relents and lowers his hand from it and sits perfectly still. Steve takes the opportunity to slowly move the pack away from his face and assess the damage.

It’s a relatively angry bruise on the left side of Billy’s face, right next to the eye. There’s a few spots in it where blood had clearly broken out but those had stopped a while ago already. All in all it doesn’t look much worse than how Steve himself had looked after Jonathan had given him a beating to the face. Billy got lucky.

Steve takes his time to look over the bruise, making sure that the swelling has gone down properly. His mind drifts thinking about the gun in his pocket, the possibilities of Russians having come back. Or well, he refers to them as Russians but he really specifically means the ones he’d already had an unfortunate encounter with. What could they possibly want now? Everything is done and dealt with as far as Steve had heard. Are they here for revenge? For information? He’s in no rush to find out, that’s for sure.  
And now there’s also Billy’s situation with his dad. Max has said Neil was arrested on the spot which most likely means they have not heard the last of this yet. Billy might have to give a testimony or something like that. They can’t have that on top of this impending threat and they can’t tell the police of said threat. What a conundrum.

While lost in thought Steve begins to pull away hairs that had stuck to the blood on Billy’s face in an attempt to help clean him up. He doesn’t even realise he’s doing it until Billy winces when a hair is pulled loose that was stuck to a particularly painful part.

“Sorry.” Steve mutters. When he focuses his eyes he finds that Billy is finally looking at him and their eyes lock together.  
Billy’s are full of shame and fear and a kind of vulnerability that makes Steve uncomfortable to see it manifest in him. Steve’s sure that his eyes, in return, show uncertainty and a hint of fear himself.  
He’s not scared to fight or to do whatever it takes to stay alive. But who in their right mind would look forward to something like that? The memories and traumas are still too fresh for him to be completely pumped up with adrenaline and ready to go. Doubt creeps in around the very edges of his mind on whether he will be able to protect himself, and others of course, this time round. What if he just got lucky the first few times? What if his luck has run out?

Steve sees the flicker of the candle reflect in Billy’s blue eyes and the orange glow changes their colour slightly. The flickering is mesmerizing and it’s much easier to focus on the shadows it casts on Billy’s face and the depth it adds to his eyes. He doesn’t think he’s ever looked at Billy the way this candlelight makes him look at him. Billy’s smooth skin, the exactly trimmed facial hair, the lines of his bone structure underneath the supple skin. ‘[i]He’s handsome[/i]’ resounds in the depths of Steve’s mind. ‘[i]He’s pretty[/i]’  
He’s both, Steve realises. Not pretty like a girl, not exactly, but when his face relaxes like it is now Billy has soft lines and some delicate features here and there. He’s definitely pretty, and he’s handsome too.  
Perhaps it should strike him as odd, the way he looks at Billy now, but Steve cannot find it within his system to think of this as odd. In a world of oddities and threats he should never even have to worry about...this is surprisingly the most normal thing he’s felt in a while. It feels inviting and safe. Steve can’t care less about whether it’s a false sense of security or not.  
Between the two of them being so close together it feels warm and drives out the cold of trepidation bit by bit. They don’t say anything.  
Steve’s mind could be playing tricks on him but he thinks one of them is leaning in...albeit incredibly slowly, almost magnetic. Maybe they’re both leaning in. A force like gravity pulls them together and perhaps it has always been like that. Perhaps that is why they kept finding each other in confrontation and now again in an entirely different perspective.  
His heart skips a beat as if it knows something his brain is still catching up to but in light of recent events he is simply not thinking.  
He needs to feel something, is almost desperate for it and he thinks Billy might need it to. They need to find their footing back on the shifting Earth. They need something familiar, something they know. It doesn’t matter with who or why or where.   
Vaguely he becomes aware of Billy’s body heat seeping in through his face and he feels their breaths mingle. He feels almost drunk. It’s an out-of-body experience. It doesn’t beg any questions, there’s only one answer and he needs to close the gap like he needs to breathe.  
Just a little closer…

A rude knocking on the door and then on the window shakes Steve to the core and forces him back into reality. All his senses come rushing back and he feels cold, so cold that he shivers. It’s because they are no longer close together and Steve wonders who moved away...or if they did at all. It feels like a hazy fever dream. Perhaps that moment was just an illusion his mind made up to help him calm down by distracting him. Perhaps it hadn’t even been real. Billy sure as hell does not look like he moved at all nor that anything happened...or rather did not happen.

Nevertheless Steve’s heart is in his throat instantly and his hand slowly moves towards the gun. The pounding on the door continues and he frantically looks for not only the easiest way out, but also where they could immediately take cover.

“Steve! Steve you in there?!” It’s Robin’s voice. Steve sighs heavily in relief and rushes towards the front door. He opens it carefully, slowly, but Robin pushes it open, almost knocking him square in the face with it. She rushes into the house before doubling over. Her entire body is heaving as she tries to catch her breath, hands leaning on her knees.  
Steve peers outside and when he does not see anything suspicious he closes the door and locks it in every possible way he can lock it.

He whips around to ask her just what the hell is going on because he has had enough of these scares today already when she throws herself into his arms. By the way Robin clings onto him Steve knows she needs a moment to ground herself and so he wraps her arms around her and just holds her, even rubs her shoulder soothingly when he can feel her start to tremble.

About ten minutes later he has Robin seated at the dining table. She’s got her elbows on it and holds her head in her hands while Steve works on making her a cup of tea. He steals a glance every so often in the direction of the living room but Billy is always still where he left him; on the couch, just staring in front of himself.  
What a fucking mess today turned into.

“I forgot my house keys at work…” Robin breaks the silence with a shaky voice. She huffs a humourless chuckle. “The irony, huh?”

Steve fondly remembers how she made fun of him just hours earlier for forgetting his house keys of all things and that Billy had to bring them by. Those hours were nice, he almost missed them.

“So I went back. Everything seemed fine. I was right at the door in the back and then I heard two voices talking.” She looks up and he meets her eyes, there’s utter fear in them and Steve is pretty sure what’s she going to say before she even says it. “They were speaking Russian, Steve… and they were fit. Like, army fit. And then…”

She trails off and shudders. Steve brings her the steaming mug of tea while he tries to compose himself.

“And then what…?” Steve asks, softly, unsure of if he wants to know the answer or not.

“They mentioned Scoops.” Robin says, swallowing around a lump she seems to have in his throat. “I’ve been studying up on my Russian after all that happened, Steve. I don’t speak it yet but I know that Scoops is not something you’d randomly hear, and not in that part of a sentence.”

It confirms all of Steve’s concerns. His mind races, kicking into survival mode and it’s all he can do to keep from freaking the fuck out.  
He tells Robin what Joyce had told him and tells her to call her mom and say she’ll be staying at a friends house, whichever friend, because there is no way in hell he’s going to let her go out of the house now. She nods and sets about doing so.  
In the meantime Steve makes his way to a cabinet in his living room and pulls open one of the drawers. He pulls out a walkie-talkie and the note with the frequency he has to turn to.  
A soft static noise tells him it’s working and he presses the talk button.

“Uh...hey. Does anyone copy?” he tries. Steve releases the talk button and listens but there is no reply.

“Hello?” He tries again but to no avail.

“Hello?!” He shouts a little louder while he paces through the house to check if all the doors and windows are locked properly.

“H-hello? Who’s this? Over.” A young voice chimes through the device and Steve feels a little lighter for it.

“Will? It’s Steve. Is your mom there?” He asks. It takes a long time before there is a reply.

“You’re supposed to say ‘over’ when you’re done.” Will corrects him. “But yeah, let me get her. Over.”

Steve only rolls his eyes at the correction.  
“Yeah, whatever. Thanks.” He responds into the walkie-talkie. “Over.”

There is a long moment of silence in which Steve returns to the living room, satisfied that everything is locked and every window and door is covered so no one can look inside.

“Steve? Joyce here.” her voice sounds through the receiver end. Steve laughs a bit through the absurdity of it all.

“Apparently you are supposed to say over when you’re done.” He jokes but it’s hollow.

“What’s going on, sweety?” Joyce asks concerned.

“Robin’s here. She went back to the Family Video to get her house keys and they were there… the Russians.” he says, barely able to believe it himself that it’s still far from over. “They mentioned Scoops.”

He knows what that means and he knows that this will give Joyce the information needed to really kick whatever she is doing up a gear.

“Okay.” She says, but she doesn’t sound okay. “Stay put, lock everything up. Don’t try to fight them, just hide while you can. I’ll call Dr. Owens a-and whoever else I can think of. It’s going to be alright.”

“Yeah...thanks mrs. Byers.” Steve answers but he’s not convinced.

He places the walkie-talkie on the coffee table before fixing his attention on Billy. His mind instantly moves back to the moment they had before Robin showed up. Or well...the moment he thinks they had.  
He decides he shouldn’t bring that up. What good would it do them? But something does need to change in how Billy’s holding himself and so Steve sits down in front of him again, ass on the coffee table. His mother would kill him if she knew.

“Hey, listen. What happened today, it fucking blows and I get it, it’s hard coming back from it. But I cannot drag deadweight around right now, man. You’ve got to get up and get a grip and get some fighting instinct going because god knows we might need it.” Steve speaks to him in a firm voice. He has a lot of patience but they might not have a lot of time. “We need to be ready to leave.”

Billy slowly looks up at him and searches Steve’s eyes for something, but Steve’s not exactly sure what. Whether he finds it or not, he ends up slowly nodding and rising to his feet with a grunt of effort.

“I’ll go shower.” Are the first words out of Billy’s mouth and Steve realises then that he probably hasn’t even been able to shower yet after getting home from work.  
Billy’s about to shuffle away but Steve puts his hand on his arm to stop him.

“Listen… I know what you said before but tonight-” Steve starts but Billy interrupts him.

“I know...but can I sleep in your room?” he asks and the look he gives him is unreadable. Steve nods immediately.

“I’m going to put Robin in my moms room, across from mine. You can shower in my bathroom.” he replies verbally. The last part isn’t a question or a request, it is a statement. There is no way he was not going to keep all three of them as close together as possible.

In demonstration of the fact he isn’t going to take no for an answer, he walks ahead of Billy to the bedroom the guy’s been using. Once there he gestures for him to get what he needs from the room and proceeds to wait by the doorframe where he can keep an eye on Robin as well as Billy. 

Billy quirks an eyebrow in amusement and there’s even the ghost of a smile on his face. Steve counts it as a victory.  
The blonde grabs together a new outfit and has the sense to pick out a comfortable outfit that is suitable for outside, so they can easily leave the house if they need to.  
They walk back to the living room together where Steve blows out the candles he’s lit and turns off any lights that he hadn’t turned off already before snatching the walkie-talkie from the coffee table to bring along.  
The trio silently walk up the stairs. Steve knows Billy knows his way around Steve’s ensuite so he lets him be for now and walks Robin into his mother's bedroom right across his own.

Robin sits down on top of the sheets, clutching the mug of tea she still hasn’t finished.

“I’ll leave these doors open.” Steve remarks, gesturing towards the bedroom doors.

“So what happens now?” Robin asks, ignoring the part that was meant to soothe her because she doubts anything can soothe her conscience right now.

“Joyce will do...something. We just have to wait. Stay safe.” Steve says, staring at the closed blinds of the bedroom window as if someone will appear through them right that second.

“Are we safe?” Robin asks and it’s a loaded question.

“I don’t know.” Steve answers honestly. It’s clearly not the answer Robin wants to hear but he’s not about to lie to her. They need to be ready if something happens. They can’t dwell on the shock of the [i]something[/i] if it does. “Try to get some rest.”

The only other time he’s seen Robin like this....well he hasn’t. When they had been stuck in the Russian army base she had burst out into laughter. They’d struck her across the face and she’d still laughed when they were gone.  
And after they’d ran the car into Billy’s camaro she’d looked a little out of it but nothing like now.  
Steve assumes it’s had more of an effect on her than he initially thought and who could blame her. Every day he thanks whoever’s up there listening that he was the one to endure the beating and not her; that they spared her for the most part. They spared her because she is a woman and it’s not done, he knows that, but they are animals and there is no telling whether they would do it again.  
He’d catch the bullet for her if it comes to it.

Robin lays down on top of the sheets in the clothes she showed up in only 20 minutes or so earlier.  
Satisfied, Steve leaves the room and returns to his own bedroom. He props the communication device on his bedside table and removes the gun from his trousers to stuff it underneath his pillow. He then gets down on his knees on the floor and reaches under the bed to produce his trusted nail bat. He positions it against the bedside table with the handle pointing upwards for easy grabbing.  
That’s all he has to prepare himself for what may or may not be coming their way. It should be enough. Hopefully it won’t even be necessary.  
Now that he’s sitting in silence with nothing left to focus on he feels the nerves and anxiety seep back in through the cracks in his mask. To give himself something to do, he grabs the walkie-talkie and double checks if he’s still on the right frequency. Even adjusts it to a different one and then back again to make sure he’s done it right.

The only thing that finally pulls him from the brink of losing it is the sudden appearance of two bare feet in his sight. He stops dead, eyes following the line of bare legs up to the towel wrapped around a fit set of hips. His gaze travels ever further, past smooth skin and scar tissue and a bare chest up until he looks into those blue eyes that watch him in wonder.  
Billy’s hair is damp, sticking to his face and his shoulders and he’s standing right in front of Steve in nothing but a towel. He’s so close that Steve can smell that Billy’s used his body wash instead of his own. It smells so different on him.

“Left my clothes out here.” Billy clarifies and points down towards Steve.

Steve...who doesn’t understand exactly what the problem is until he finally follows the line of Billy’s finger and looks down behind him. He’s partially sitting on the pile of clothes.

“Shit..sorry.” Steve mumbles and jumps to his feet but now he and Billy are face to face and almost chest to chest.  
Steve feels that pull again; that magnetic pull towards the source of heat, of human connection right in front of him. He must be riled up from everything that’s happening, he tells himself, because this is absolutely ridiculous.

Their eyes linger on each other until Billy smirks one of those trademark, teasing smirks. It’s the first glimmer of his normal behaviour returning.

“At least they’ll be nice and warm.” Billy says and pats Steve on the shoulder somewhere between too hard and almost fondly. He bends to grab the pile of clothes from the bed and Steve’s eyes travel to barely concealed hips and ass and then proceeds to quickly look away and mentally scold himself.  
It’s the thoughts he’s been having that makes him look. Just a sliver of curiosity.

Steve’s not ready to face any kind of questions about his sexuality at this point and certainly not when they concern Billy fucking Hargrove. They have bigger fish to fry. He purposely doesn’t watch as Billy dresses himself on the other side of the bed before laying down, also on top of the covers. All of them still have their shoes on too and it’s not the most comfortable, but it’s what is necessary.

Steve lays down too after putting the walkie-talkie back besides him. Laying on his back he cannot find the rest he’s looking for and aimlessly shifts around for something that will give him a little bit of an easier time falling asleep. He ends up facing Billy, who’s done the same and is facing him now as well. They share a meaningful glance before they both close their eyes, or so Steve assumes, he can’t very well see with his own eyes closed.

They find sleep eventually. How much time has passed is anyone’s guess but it hasn’t lasted very long.

Around 3:30am the walkie-talkie jumps to life with a static noise and then a voice:

“Steve are you there? Steve? This is Nancy! Please pick up Steve!”

Steve jolts awake with a startled cry. On instinct he’s grabbed the gun and is waving it around wildly to find the source of the noise.  
Billy jumps awake too and tries to adjust his eyes to his surroundings. He’s immediately fully woken up when he sees what Steve’s waving around.

“Whoa whoa whoa! Holy shit, Harrington! Is that a fucking gun?!” he exclaims, jumping up onto his knees on the mattress.

“You wanna fight these bastards with words?! Get over it!” Steve hisses back, still looking for the damn noise. There doesn’t seem to be anything there but at the same time all the shadows seem to be moving and he’s almost pulled the trigger twice before the source chimes up again.

“Steve come on! Pick up! It’s Nancy!”

“It’s the fucking phone, man!” Billy says accusingly and points to the device on Steve’s nightstand. 

“Walkie-talkie.” Steve corrects him bitterly, not appreciating the tone Billy uses right there. He snatches it from the nightstand just as Robin stumbles into the room with wild eyes. He presses the talk button before she has time to ask anything. “This is Steve. We’re here.”

“Steve, thank god!” Nancy’s voice sounds through the receiver. “Listen. Jonathan and I are here to get you guys out but we can’t get close. They are watching the house, Steve.”

The three share a look of despair before Billy jumps onto the floor and presses himself flush against the wall next to Steve’s window.

“Are you mad?!” Steve hisses, trying to gesture him to come back but Billy holds his hand up to signal him to stop and with one finger he moves the curtain minimally and closes one eye so he can see properly out the small gap.

“There’s one patrolling outside.” He hisses to the two. “Fuck, he’s got a big gun. He’s rounding the house now. He’s gone.”

“They are patrolling the house, Nance.” Steve says into the walkie, trying not to sound as despaired as he feels.

“Is there any way you can get out?” Nancy asks, unable to conceal the worry in her voice.

“Hang on.” Steve tells her and moves to the other side of the window to do the same thing Billy is doing.

They wait and wait, and they watch the backyard area that Steve’s room looks out over. Eventually their theory is confirmed and someone dressed in an all black swat-like outfit and carrying a massive gun, comes into view, patrols around the backyard for some time and then disappears around the other side of the house.

“Was that the same guy?” Steve whispers to Billy once they close the small gap again. Billy looks at him and nods. “Are you absolutely sure?”

“Yes I’m fucking sure!” Billy growls and Steve immediately hushes him, pressing a finger to his own lips.

“I’m just checking.” Steve says before walking back to where Robin is standing. He notices then that he’s still holding the gun tightly in his hand and shoves it under his belt again for now before picking up the walkie-talkie. “There’s one soldier patrolling around. There’s a brief window in which he’ll be blinded and we can escape into the woods.”

Steve relishes in the fact that Billy looks mildly impressed and Robin nods in agreement. He’s the man with the plan this time. Fuck yeah!

“Do you think you can make it to the junkyard?” Nancy asks in return.

Steve looks to the other two for confirmation and only when both of them have nodded does he answer Nancy.

“Yeah, we can.” he says determined.

“Okay, we’ll meet you there, over and out.”  
Steve immediately jumps towards his closet and digs around until he finds his backpack stuffed somewhere in the corner. He tosses the walkie in and the bat and zips it up as far as it will go with the bat sticking out awkwardly. He checks if the gun is securely stuck under the belt, aware of the two sets of eyes on him while he does.

“Okay, let’s do this.” He says and nods once.

Robin and Billy follow him down the stairs which seems the sensible thing to do because Steve’s the one with all the weapons. Silently, they creep down the stairs and Steve is beyond glad that he’s closed all the blinds which gives them some cover at least.

When they reach the kitchen Robin is the one to break their formation and rush to one of the kitchen drawers and tries to pry it open without making any sort of noise. She pulls out a large kitchen knife. Billy and Steve look at her incredulously.

“What?” She shrugs. “I want to be prepared this time and you’ve got a damn gun!” and she points to Steve accusingly who seems alright with the answer and moves on.

“And now what? You don’t think they’ll hear when we slide open the doors?” Billy asks sceptically, glaring at the sliding door.

“Hate to admit it but he might be right, Steve. It’s dead silent out there. They’ll react to any noise.” Robin adds. Billy flashes her a cocky grin to which she glares back and pulls a face.  
Ignoring the interaction, Steve rubs a hand over his face in thought.

“So what now?” he wonders aloud.

“The window in the guestroom opens with almost no sound.” Billy offers.

“Okay, but that is not in the backyard yet, how are we supposed to monitor when the guy’s rounding the house?” Robin asks in return.

“If we time how long he stays in the backyard before disappearing, we can count the minutes until we can climb out of the window and run off.” Billy says thoughtfully.

It’s as good a plan as any they suppose. Robin opts to do the timing and sneaks over to the double doors. She creates the smallest of gaps, just enough so she can oversee the backyard without being seen and holds her wrist closer to her face so she can start counting as soon as the soldier appears.

She takes two rounds to make a little bit of a more certain observation.

“About four minutes from one end to the other.” she reports to the two guys waiting anxiously in the living room.

“We can get quite far in four minutes right?” Billy says hopefully but Steve shakes his head.

“In that time we need to open the window, climb out and cross about 5 yards to the back and then run across and disappear into the woods. And if he is around the house by the time we are halfway across the backyard he’ll see the window is open and raise the alarm. We have to close it.” Steve thinks aloud, arms folded and brow furrowed.

“So we don’t have enough time to get out?” Robin’s beginning to lose hope, or at least she sounds like it.

“We might, but we’ve got to pull an even riskier stunt.” Steve grimaces at the idea. “We have to wait until he passes by our window, just a couple of seconds, before we open it and sneak out. In short, we have to shadow him more or less. It’ll buy us enough time.”

The trio look to each other and their faces say it all. They don’t have time to argue about it, they have to get out now.

“I’ve become acquainted with the window.” Billy says solemnly. “I’ll open and close it.”

They all nod and head over to the guest bedroom Billy has been occupying since he was brought home from the hospital. The small distance suddenly seems to take forever but eventually they get there. The bedroom door is closed behind them and all of them stand around the bedroom window, staring at it as if it will attack them at any moment.  
Wordlessly, Billy takes his position on the far side of the window and peers through the small gap for the shadow indicating the soldier’s arrival.  
The seconds tick by like hours and their hearts thunder in their chests.

Eventually, at last, Billy’s senses perk up as he sees the shadowy figure approach and he raises his hand to indicate to the other two that it’s time.  
The shadow passes by the window and Billy counts. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi… and he opens the window with quick hands, carefully and soundlessly.  
Steve doesn’t need any signal and slips through the opening as soon as he can. Robin hands him the backpack he’d taken off to avoid unnecessary rustling before she too slips through. Billy follows immediately and closes the window behind him in a swift and silent motion.

Steve and Robin have already proceeded towards the backyard where the soldier is just now rounding the corner. So far so good.  
Billy sneaks after them and falls in line behind Robin. They place their feet with the utmost care to not disturb any breaking branches or rustling leaves.  
All three of them are plastered against the wall, Steve in the lead, when they reach the last few feet before they are in the backyard.  
Steve peaks around the corner carefully and swiftly pulls his head back. He looks towards Robin and Billy and presses his finger to his lips.  
They have to be silent, so that means the soldier’s not gone yet.

An eternity seems to pass in which Steve peaks around the corner only a handful of times and then finally he gives the signal that they can proceed.

With quick steps, they move themselves around the pool and across the tiles, closer and closer to the sweet security and cover of the forest behind the Harrington residence. There’s no noise whatsoever and a quick glance around confirms they are out of sight or as much as they can be.  
The trees grow larger and more ominous as they close the distance and now their heart rates really pick up.

“Steve! Do you copy?! Steve I heard what’s going on!!”

All three of them stop dead in their tracks as Dustin’s voice, only mildly muffled, crashes the silence from within Steve’s backpack. The damn walkie-talkie.  
What the fuck was the kid even doing up in the first place? Perhaps Jonathan had woken Will accidentally and he contacted the others?

“Steve! Are you there?!”

All hell breaks loose. There’s shouting coming from the front of the house in a foreign language and there are more voices than Steve dares to consider. He curses under his breath and grabs Robin and Billy by the wrist and pulls them into a full-on sprint to reach the forest and their last chance at an escape.

Neither of them look behind them as they run until there’s gunshots and bullets whistling past them, splintering the trees in front and now finally around them.

“RUN!” Steve shouts desperately and his feet feel like they’re barely touching the ground, like he’s flying forwards and he’s sure if he dwells on it for too long he’s going to trip.  
Dustin’s voice cracks and the white noise eventually takes over when they finally get out of reach. A small blessing at least.

Robin’s running besides him at great velocity, eyes wide and chest heaving but she keeps going. Steve takes a chance to look behind him. The house is small in the distance but he can still see it. There’s dark figures in the treeline but they aren’t chasing them. It’s odd… why wouldn’t they be chasing them.  
They’re far away enough that Steve feels a little more confident in slowing down. Robin and Billy end up ahead of him until they notice he’s looking behind them and they slow down to do the same.  
It looks like one of them is holding out their hand and then an object is placed in it. Nothing like a gun… perhaps it’s a bomb. That thought stocks Steve’s breathing as he thinks about having to escape an explosion of any kind, or having his house blown up. What would his parents say?

But it’s not a bomb, at least he doesn’t think so. It’s something that is activated though because a dull bluish-grey light begins to emit from it and Steve has to squint to see it and tries to identify it.

Billy’s watching too, unsure why they are not grabbing the opportunity to run the fuck away as far as they can, but something tells him he needs to keep watching. He too sees the object being placed in the soldier’s hand. Billy only has a split second to notice the bluish-grey light appearing because then it’s like lightning strikes right through him, pierces him with a fierce bolt and his vision goes temporarily white.  
He falls to his knees with a mighty scream and clutches his chest.

Steve and Robin whip around in shock and are by Billy’s side in an instance. Steve looks up briefly and sees to his horror that the line of soldiers is advancing.

“Steve! We’ve got to move!” Robin exclaims, tugging at Billy’s arm.

Steve jumps back into action and between the two of them, they hoist Billy back onto his feet and try to both pull him along and support him as he staggers through the woods.  
His breathing is ragged and sounds painful and Steve begs that he doesn’t faint because he doesn’t think they can make it out if he and Robin have to carry an unconscious Billy.

They run and stagger forward, spurred on by the sound of thundering boots on the forest floor. Suddenly Robin pulls on Billy and incidentally on Steve.

“Quick, this way!” She hisses, trying to remain out of the hearing range of the soldiers.

The junkyard is straight ahead but Robin tries to pull them off to the left. Steve’s about to argue but when he sees the determination in her face, he decides to zip it and follow her.  
They steer left and come to a slope. Here, Robin let’s go of Billy’s arm and lowers herself down the slope before disappearing.  
Steve’s about to call out to her before he hears her voice.

“Get in here!”

Both guys look at each other, Billy looking exhausted and the pain still coursing through him makes the muscles in his face twitch. Steve shrugs and helps Billy down in blind fate that Robin knows what she’s doing.  
He follows suit and finds to his surprise a cavity in the slope, dark and moist but completely out of view.

“A tree fell over years ago here.” Robin whispers in his ear, startling him out of his thoughts. “Roots and all… left this hole.”

Steve nods in understanding and helps maneuver Billy to the very back of the cavity. He’s about to move away when Billy grabs onto his arm and pulls him back.  
Steve meets his eyes and sees the glimmer of fear there and the silent question for him to stay and so he does. He stays kneeled by his side and places his hand on Billy’s arm in silent comfort.

They sit in complete silence while the hurrying bootsteps come nearer and nearer but none of them seem to head in the same direction as they went.

“повернуть назад” A loud man’s voice sounds from a little too close for comfort and they collectively hold their breath, fearing they’ve been discovered and they are coming to shoot them or take them away.

Steve gulps and prepares himself for the end. He tries to think of his achievements, what he’s thankful for and if he has any regrets.  
Will his parents miss him? His mom probably, his dad he’s not so sure about. Squeezing his eyes closed tighter he thinks of past relationships and friendships.  
He remembers when he had the chance to kiss the pastor’s daughter; Jenny. He’d been only twelve and she was starting to rebel. All the guys fancied her a little and there he was, and she was willing to kiss him...and he’d blown it….figured out too late what she’d wanted from him.  
After that he’s never blown it again but he wonders what would have happened had he managed to kiss her.

A slap to the arm rudely awakens him from his contemplation and he glares over to Robin but she looks back at him with barely contained excitement. She looks like she legit wants to squeal and she points up, motioning towards where the soldiers are.  
Steve shakes his head, unable to understand. With a roll of the eyes she leans in and whispers to him.

“Povernut’ nazad.” She says to him and it oddly sounds like what the soldier had just called out. “It means turn back.”

Oh...OH! Steve’s eyes widen and his jaw drops and suddenly he’s right there with her on the verge of bursting out in loud exclamations of joy.

“Подождите”

Steve searches Robin’s face for any clue as to what that might mean and she frowns, looking slightly worried.  
‘Wait’ she mouths to Steve and they both frown and strain their ears to listen.

There was silence after the word ‘wait’ but it’s slowly being filled by a low, ebbing buzzing noise. It sounds like a device being started. The buzzing intensifies in noise and as it seems to reach a steady speed Steve suddenly feels Billy go completely taunt under his hand.  
He whips his head around to look at the blonde who is white as a sheet with eyes wide as saucers. Steve sees his muscles twitch violently and water gathers in blue eyes and he knows… it all happens in under a second but he knows instinctively what’s happening and what to do.  
Just as Billy’s mouth opens to accommodate the cry that is forcefully being ripped from him, Steve dives forward and on top of the guy, clamping both his hands over his mouth and pushing to muffle the noise.

He can feel Billy’s heart thunder where their chests are pressed together. Steve’s elbows dig into the dirt next to Billy’s head while his hands keep pressing over his mouth even as he feels Billy close his mouth and tense his jaw in a desperate attempt to stop any other noise. The guy is trembling beneath him, muscles spasming rather violently and Steve tries not to think about what must be happening. He lowers his face to right next to Billy’s and he listens frantically for any indication of the soldiers coming closer.

Billy’s in agony. That same ‘shot-by-lightning’ kind of sudden pain struck him and it seemed to wrap around his insides and mess them all up. He hadn’t wanted to cry out...just couldn’t help it. Thank god for Steve Harrington and his impeccable split-second instinct. Now he’s trapped beneath the guy. He can feel brown hair against his face, warm hands on his mouth and their chests pressed together. It’s nice and grounding in his discomfort and he relishes in the contact. He’s dreamed of this...but under different circumstances obviously. Nevertheless it helps distract him and ride out the pain a lot easier.

Robin had watched while it was happening and she’d immediately put it together that whatever it was the soldiers had in their possession was affecting Billy somehow. She doesn’t know the how’s or what’s yet but this can’t be a coincidence anymore.  
The cry is muffled and she has hope they may not have heard it. She strains her ears and listens.  
There’s no footsteps on the ground anymore but she feels in her bones that they are still there.  
They wait for what seems like an eternity before she hears it.

“Ладно, повернуть назад.” ‘okay, turn back’

Robin slaps a hand over her mouth in relief and when she sees Steve glance over she gives him a shaky smile and nods.  
The footsteps start up again and they are gradually getting further and further away from them.  
When there’s nothing left but silence, they still wait a good minute or so before they ease up.  
Steve heaves a sigh in relief and slowly removes his hands from Billy’s mouth and pushes himself up, realising now that he’s slightly shaking.

“You alright? Can you move?” he asks while looking down and over Billy, inspecting him.

“Yeah…” it sounds weak and shaky but they’ve got to move so it’ll have to do. Steve helps him upright while Robin determines the best way out.  
Eventually all three make it out of the hollow in the slope safely and they waste no time beelining for the junkyard.  
Stumbling and staggering they finally reach the clearing filled with old, broken cars and busses. Somewhere close by them an engine roars to life and the trio stops like deer caught in the headlights in the process of making the split second decision about which way to run.  
Luckily, Steve recognises Jonathan’s car when it comes into view and rushes over to it.

“Come on!” He shouts towards the other two who are a bit more reluctant to move until he does so.

Robin clambers in the middle of the backseat just as Steve opens the trunk and throws his backpack in before slamming it close. Be careful has gone out of the window in favour of speed.  
Billy climbs in with difficulty and takes the spot behind the driver’s seat. As soon as he’s seated he slumps back and squeezes his eyes closed.

Just as Steve is about to jump in too, a series of loud bangs fill the night sky and it stops him dead in his tracks. His head whips to where the sound is coming from.

“What’s happening?” Nancy asks from the passenger’s seat.

“Gunfire!” Steve answers and frantically jumps into the only available seat before slamming the door shut. “Go!”

Jonathan wastes no time and races out of there. He’s glad he knows his way around Hawkins like he knows his own back pocket. It doesn’t take long to get there but he doesn’t ease up on the gas pedal until he passes the sign:  
[b]‘Leaving Hawkins’[/b]

Steve, Robin and Billy are snugly squeezed together on the backseat. Neither of them has the will or the energy to speak, the reality and the gravity of what has just happened slowly setting in.

Nancy turns in her seat to look over their three passengers, her eyes lingering on Billy...or well the bruising on his face.

“You look like hell.” She remarks casually and doesn’t so much as flinch when Billy shoots her a heated glare.

“What off it.” he snaps back at her.

Considering the small confined space they are all sharing, she opts to continue such a conversation later. The ride itself is uncomfortable enough as it is. Instead she turns her attention to Steve and Robin and smiles softly.

“You guys ok?”

“No...no not really.” Robin says looking to be in a mild state of shock. “This is not exactly how I thought my evening would go.”

“Do you have any idea what they want from you?” Nancy asks after giving a sympathetic look. Robin shakes her head and casts her eyes down.

“Perhaps some retaliation from breaking into their base. Maybe they think we have information that they need.” Robin muses and Nancy nods. Unfortunately they don’t have much information to go on regarding what these soldiers are looking for.

“Steve?” Nancy says softly because she hasn’t received an answer from him yet. Steve’s staring out of the window with an unreadable expression. He turns to her and flashes her a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I’m fine.”

Nancy opens her mouth probably to protest and tell him he’s clearly not and that she knows him better than that and it’s not something he can withstand hearing right now.

“Nance..I’m fine.” He assures with a little more urgency. She seems to get the hint, shuts her mouth and turns back around in her seat.

The ride is tense and soon it gets too warm in the tiny car to bear. It’s been about an hour since they’ve left Hawkins and, gradually, all of them become more and more on edge. There’s only so much one can bear in one night with little sleep, which for some only adds to many more sleepless nights, all while being chased by Russian soldiers. The tension keeps boiling and brooding silently until Jonathan rather suddenly pulls over at a gas station and parks the car with screeching tires.  
He looks in the rearview mirror and tries to hide his amusement at the surprised expressions he sees from the backseat.

“I don’t know about you guys but I could use a break.” He says casually.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” Nancy looks around wearily. “We don’t know if they followed us.”

“I haven’t seen a car behind us in over half an hour. I think we can take a quick break. Five minutes max.” Jonathan reassures her.

Steve doesn’t need to be told twice. He opens the car door and hoists himself out with a grunt. Jonathan’s car isn’t tiny or anything but the backseat is rather cramped, especially with three basically adults squeezed together on it.  
He stretches his limbs and looks around.  
The gas station has a small shop that seems to be open 24/7 for the basic stuff; booze, cigs, OTC meds and snacks. He vaguely hears Robin say she’s going to ask for a bathroom but he’s a little preoccupied with relishing the silence of where they are. He does watch her go, keeping an eye on everyone. Jonathan heads to a payphone on the outside of the building while Nancy lingers by the car.  
The only thing that rudely pulls him out of his moment is when he hears a pained groaning behind him.  
Steve turns around and his eyes find Billy where he’s slumped with his back against the side of the car. Nancy had been right; he looks like hell.

Steve rounds the car and stops in front of Billy. He looks him over with a concerned look.

“Chest again?” He asks. Billy nods dully and averts his eyes. “Let me check it out.”

“No, Harrington, I’m not going to let you check it out. I can do without your pity right now.” Billy bites back completely out of the blue.

“What the hell, man?” Steve holds his hands up in a defensive gesture but he can’t deny that Billy’s sudden snap makes him want to bite back and he has to remind himself he’s better than that.

“You’ve been dragging me around like I’m some helpless child.” and Billy, albeit with great difficulty, rises to his full height which is still shorter than Steve, he stalks forward, jabbing a finger in Steve’s chest. “Stop looking at me like I’m fucking handicapped!”

The thing is, Billy’s mind never shuts the fuck up, so while he was in the silence of the car he began thinking...or well overthinking. Steve’s been more than nice to him, sure. He took excellent care of him whenever Billy needed it. There’s been instances where they’ve been so close together, like about an hour ago in the woods and even before that on the couch, although if he could he will forever deny that the couch situation even happened. He’d let himself go, his mind had been playing cruel tricks on him. Steve is straight, he barely tolerates him...and he’s only a charity case to him. That’s the conclusion Billy’s mind had reached. It implies he is weak and that fuels the ever simmering pit of rage in his soul.

Of course they could never have a private moment without someone interfering.

“Leave him alone!” Nancy says sternly, like a mother scolding her children. She walks up to the pair with purpose and Billy grits his teeth.

“Stay out of it Nance.” Steve tells her without looking away from Billy.

“You know what? No! I’ve sat around long enough watching him treat you like garbage. You’ve offered him your house...everything! He can back off and show some respect.” She’s clearly not backing down. Which might be a mistake because Billy whips around, fast as lightning, and then he’s in her face, teeth bared and snarling.

“You wanna talk to me about respect, Wheeler? [i]You[/i]?” he spits but Nancy doesn’t falter, she stands her ground and stares him down.

“What? You want to say that I have no respect for people? I’m not the scumbag parents warn their daughters about. The biggest bully our town has ever known.” She shoots back.

“Guys, knock it off.” Steve says firmly, patience wearing thin but he is promptly ignored.

“I’ve got more respect in my pinkie than you have in your whole body. Get out of my face.” It’s Billy’s typical ‘last warning’ voice.  
But the corners of Nancy’s mouth twitch and it lets Steve know she’s about to lay a blow and he feels in his bones this is not going to be good.

“Nancy, don’t.” He tries but it’s already too late.

“Like when you set out to beat up a middle schooler? Yeah, your mom must be really proud of you.” She looks smug, like she’s already won.

Billy snaps. A vein in his forehead pops and his eyes are wild and unpredictable. The muscles in his arms and shoulders tense so tight he almost grows a little in bulk. Normally it’s a tell-tale sign he’s about to beat someone up but in a complete 180 degree turn, he manages to find his fight in his words.

“Bet you feel real good about yourself huh. Princess Wheeler.”

“Billy...stop.”

“You know the whole school talked about you. Knew exactly who you were. Prissy little Wheeler, has to get everything her way or everyone can go to hell.” At this point Billy spreads his arms wide like he’s giving a show. “Has to get the highest grades, and when she has that? Has to get the most popular guy. And is that enough? Hell no! No prissy bitch Wheeler needs herself another man. You know I’m surprised you can fit that much dick up there with that giant stick already wedged in so deep.”

In retaliation and probably completely on instinct, Nancy slaps him across the face. Her face is tight with anger and her muscles taut but Billy sees it coming before it even happens. He doesn’t stop her but he doesn’t flinch, doesn’t move an inch when the slap lands and fixes her with a cold stare and for a moment there’s fear in her eyes that maybe he’ll hit back.  
What he doesn’t see is how Steve is winding up tighter and tighter beside him, his at times infinite patience wearing thin.

“Ah yeah, I’ve heard you resort to violence against men when you don’t get your way. Because who would hit a woman.” Billy comments coldly before leaning into her face. “You talk about respect but you don’t even respect him enough to let him live his own damn life. You just have to make him do your bidding. The fucking nerve after you cheated on him and ditched him like yesterdays news.”

“That’s enough!” Steve barks and grabs Billy by the shoulder, forcing him away from Nancy and towards him. “You don’t have the fucking right! Whatever she’s doing in my life or what she has been doing is my fucking business and you have no right to speak to her like that!”

Billy sizes him up briefly, trying not to be fazed by the anger he sees in those brown eyes he adores so much. The [i]hatred[/i], he tells himself. Then he laughs one of those crazy “I’ve lost it” laughs.

“Look at that! He still cares about her.” his laughter dies down. “Well maybe you should make her your little charity case instead of me, she could really use a fix-me-up from the Harrington foundation.”

Before he knows what happens, Steve lands a blow on Billy’s nose. He only realizes it when Billy stumbles a bit and leans on the car with one hand while holding his nose with the other. Steve’s body is shaking in anger and he regrets lashing out, but it’s too late now and Billy did have it coming.

“Is that what this is about? You’re having a tantrum because you think I see you as a charity case?” He yells at Billy, not caring that he’s not getting a response, not even caring whether he’s listening or not. “I fucking care about you, you piece of shit!”

The world stops for a moment to process what has just happened. Nancy’s mind is reeling with the insults but her jaw is dropped at the words she just heard come out of Steve’s mouth.  
Billy slowly rights himself. He feels the blood dripping down to his mouth, can taste it on the tip of his tongue, but it can’t distract him. He turns wide eyes onto Steve, who’s glaring at him with the heat intensity of the sun.

“You...what?” Billy asks, instantly hating how his voice breaks. Steve had said that he cares about him. But how? How could someone like Steve care about him?

“Yeah.” Steve answers, short and hard but his anger seems to deflate a little. “God knows why.”

Billy winces that time and has the decency to feel ashamed. He wants to put it to words, wants to say anything at all but he’s never been the kind to apologize for his behaviour. As much as he wants to, his lips are locked tight and he can’t utter a single word.  
The three of them stand in an increasingly awkward silence where Steve and Billy are looking at each other and Nancy doesn’t know where to look.

Before anyone can say anything Jonathan returns to the group with Robin right behind. Both of them share a look of confusion when they notice the thick tension surrounding the three other members of their travelling society.

Nancy is the first to break free of the silence and turns to face her boyfriend. When she faces him she is instantly overcome with worry.

“What’s wrong?” She asks him. Jonathan grimaces and stuffs his hands deep into his pockets.

“It’s Will… mom has to take him to dr. Owens in the morning.” Jonathan explains with a heavy heart and instantly the mood shifts because they all know what it means if Will has to go see dr. Owens.

Steve feels the cold sweat on his back as nausea grips him and when he looks around, he sees much the same response in the faces of Robin and Billy.

“It’s back…?’ Nancy asks softly, afraid of the answer. Jonathan frowns and shakes his head.

“They don’t know yet but he woke up with that feeling… you know, that signalled him when the Mind Flayer was activated. A-And she said that later it happened again. Will’s in a panic.” He explains.

All of them remain silent, thoughts with the youngest Byers. That is, until Robin’s head snaps up and she slaps Steve on the arm frantically.

“Ow, what?” Steve asks, insulted.

“Will’s had it too!” She exclaims and that gets everyone's attention.

“What do you mean he’s had it too?” Jonathan asks and he has to stop himself from backing away in surprise when Robin levels him with intense attention.

“How much time was between the first and the second one?” She asks, assuming he’ll have the answers.

“About ten to twenty minutes tops, she said.” Jonathan answers in confusion.

Robin turns back towards Billy and Steve with her heads open and arms extended in a “do-you-see?” kind of gesture.  
The two boys frown at each other which makes Robin sigh in frustration.

“What happened while we were trying to get away from those soldiers?” She asks, slightly annoyed she has to spell it out.

“Other than Dustin blowing our cover?” Steve says bitterly and then shrugs. “Uh, not much. We had to hide and eh… oh Billy had one of his pain relapses.”

Robin waves her hands about, gesturing that he was on point. Steve frowns at her gestures for a moment before his mouth sets in an “oh” when he seems to connect some dots… and then his eyes grow wide as the full realisation sets in.

“Oh…! Oh shit!” He exclaims in shock.

“Yeah...shit!” Robin confirms.

“Can anyone tell me what the fuck is going on?” Billy says impatiently, glaring between the two.

“Eh Jonathan, can you explain to him what this thing is with Will?” Steve asks, holding a hand to his head as he tries to still wrap his head around what they may have just figured out.  
Jonathan looks about as confused as Billy and Nancy do but nods slowly.

“So while you were...you know… he could sense when you got near. Or well, when the Mind Flayer got near. Actually it wasn’t just you, but anyone flayed or the Mind Flayer itself. He got this eh, this goosebump feeling in his neck and a feeling like a steep drop in his stomach.” Jonathan explains to Billy who nods appropriately in understanding.

“And he’s had that again.” Robin adds, looking at Billy with a more serious look than he’s seen on her. “At the same time that you’ve had those relapses.”

Simultaneously, everyone knows what she means.

“But that’s not possible! There’s no gate.” Nancy argues, clearly refusing to believe it.

“Maybe not, but you said Will said he feels it when the Mind Flayer is activated.” Robin clarifies. “These soldiers, they had some device, very small, but it hummed and lit up. What if they somehow have a piece of it and know how to activate a chemical reaction with it?”

“And why would they use that against us? How do they even know to use it?” Billy asks, trying to complete the mental puzzle.

“They might be looking for more of the stuff. One of the things I’d be thinking if I was looking for some interdimensional goo, I’d look at the people who’ve been touched by it. Beginning with the one who’s actually had it in him.” Robin muses, rubbing her chin.

“I think you might be right. There were soldiers camped out by the repair shop while I was working. They didn’t try anything until I had a relapse.” Billy says with a sigh.

“You had a relapse at work too?” Steve asks, voice somewhere between worry and disbelief that he was not told immediately. Billy looks to him and shrugs as if to say ‘no big deal’.

“They were testing if they had the right guy.” Nancy realises.

“But then Will is not safe!” Jonathan says with light panic.

“I wouldn’t panic just yet. If they’re going to dr. Owens, he’ll be safe there. They might not even be fully aware of him.” Robin tries to comfort him.

“But what do they want with us? You said you heard them say Scoops.” Steve asks, arms folded while he’s deep in thought.

“We’ve been in their underground compound, we’ve been in contact with this whole mess, you more than me...and we are in contact with him. We can provide them with all the information they need.” Robin lays out their plan as if she had planned it herself.

“Great…now what?” Steve exclaims.

“We’ll go to the address where you guys can lay low for a bit. From there we will relay a message to Owens to keep Will safe and then we’ll see what happens.” Nancy explains, calm and collected. But her words remind Steve of something.

“Where exactly are we going?” He asks, glancing around their location. Right now they are in the middle of nowhere in a direction he sure as hell doesn’t know anyone.

Jonathan and Nancy share a look, silently conversing about how best to explain where they are going and why and why exactly there is safe.

“Uhm…” Nancy begins, turning back to the group...but it is Jonathan that finishes the sentence for her.

“We’re taking you to an old friend of ours.”


End file.
